08-13-2012, 01:13 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Husbands family members
Long story short, my husband and I have had a long term marriage, mostly happy 28 years. Two children, girls and we have had our share of ups and downs.
A few years ago, during a horrible time, my H decided, with the advice of his family, to file for a divorce (without the benefit of telling me first.) Apparently, this was done on the advise/counsel of his older brothers,
"To see if I was serious about recovering the marriage".
"To give him the upper hand in the divorce".
"To teach me a lesson."
His family has never been a real positive part of my marriage. Not really against it (except that I am Catholic), we only see them 1 or 2 times a year anyway. So it is very easy to ignore them.
BTW- Both of these brothers are past cheaters, and one- a long, long time ago, made an inapropriate comment/pass to me during his divorce..
(I chalked it up to his insane divorce procedings, but THANKFULLY told my husband at the time...-about how he weireded me out)
Even tho this was years ago, I still consider these fools as NOT my friends, not a friend to my family and, quite frankly toxic to me.
I have to work on forgiving/trusting my husband, but I do n't feel I should EVER have to deal with them.
My husband is very upset that I have BBQ's for my friends and family, but his brothers are "not invited".
I think he should understand my position.
I was "nice" and entertained them for 20+ years...
It bit me in the arse....
What did he THINK was going to happen? I have never said that he can't have relationships with them, just don't include me in the fiasco.
( I have attended their children's weddings, and an occasional - less than once a year - outing -- if I can see the kids..)
But I have ZERO intrest ever talking to these people again.
It upsets him, but if he wants to chose them over me......
P.S. Yeah, I should do the "forgive all", yadda yadda, kumbyah sh@t, but
-- then I feel that there is the reality of boundaries and MY FEELINGS about it.
anyone else been here??????