I want to thank you guys so much. After reading this, I went home and tried to get on his fb. I don't have his password, and it's not saved on his computer like I thought. But, in the history, there it was. He was on her fb page today. In a way, I was afraid to even look because I so wanted him to be telling me the truth. Now I feel so stupid and embarassed. I can't see what messages they were typing to eachother or anything, but I'm sure it's not good. I've never felt so hurt in my life. We have a daughter together and all I wanted was to be a happy family. I can't stop crying, but I need to get it together for my daughter. I don't know what to do now. How do I decide if I should leave or stay and try to work it out?
I want to thank you guys so much. After reading this, I went home and tried to get on his fb. I don't have his password, and it's not saved on his computer like I thought. But, in the history, there it was. He was on her fb page today. In a way, I was afraid to even look because I so wanted him to be telling me the truth. Now I feel so stupid and embarassed. I can't see what messages they were typing to eachother or anything, but I'm sure it's not good. I've never felt so hurt in my life. We have a daughter together and all I wanted was to be a happy family. I can't stop crying, but I need to get it together for my daughter. I don't know what to do now. How do I decide if I should leave or stay and try to work it out?
I would get a keylogger installed on the computer. You need to do some digging and get as much evidence as possible before confronting.
No matter what he said to her, he already broke the rules. Just 2 days ago I told him he is to have no more contact with her. And he was clearly unable to do that. I feel betrayed.
No matter what he said to her, he already broke the rules. Just 2 days ago I told him he is to have no more contact with her. And he was clearly unable to do that. I feel betrayed.
Yes, you should feel betrayed. The problem is that anything you bring up to him without hard evidence will be denied. You need to dig and have clear cut evidence to throw at him.
I agree. I'm looking for stuff right now. I know we aren't married, but we have been together for 11 years. Just recently we were talking about getting married soon (since we're doing better financially now) and having more kids. I am devastated.
I found an email showing a message that he sent her on facebook. It says that he has to unfriend her because I watch his page like a hawk. (That's complete bs because I never did, I trusted him 100% before this). Then he goes on saying he really wanted to get back in contact with her. He gave her his number and an email that I didn't know about.
That was enough for me. I called him and asked if he talked to her today. He paused and said yeah, just to let her know that he's unfriending her. He's out with his cousin right now, so I told him that he needs to come home to talk about this. He refuses. He says he can't do that to his cousin. How can he do this to me?!? He says he likes her, but not in the way he likes me. I told him that he obviously likes her enough to break up our family over her. He said that's my fault because I made those guidelines. Yeah, I did, he agreed to them on monday, and then broke them. And this is my fault how? He hung up on me and turned off his phone. I am hurt, ashamed, angry, you name it. Is this the real him? He's always had a very bad temper, but this is something else. I never thought he had it in him to be so cruel. I just had to vent. I feel like I'm falling apart.
I found an email showing a message that he sent her on facebook. It says that he has to unfriend her because I watch his page like a hawk. (That's complete bs because I never did, I trusted him 100% before this). Then he goes on saying he really wanted to get back in contact with her. He gave her his number and an email that I didn't know about.
That was enough for me. I called him and asked if he talked to her today. He paused and said yeah, just to let her know that he's unfriending her. He's out with his cousin right now, so I told him that he needs to come home to talk about this. He refuses. He says he can't do that to his cousin. How can he do this to me?!? He says he likes her, but not in the way he likes me. I told him that he obviously likes her enough to break up our family over her. He said that's my fault because I made those guidelines. Yeah, I did, he agreed to them on monday, and then broke them. And this is my fault how? He hung up on me and turned off his phone. I am hurt, ashamed, angry, you name it. Is this the real him? He's always had a very bad temper, but this is something else. I never thought he had it in him to be so cruel. I just had to vent. I feel like I'm falling apart.
Now you know. I would pack his bags and leave them at the door. Posted via Mobile Device
In a marriage there is no reason for private passwords. You two should have access to each others passwords for everything. "Privacy" is usually thrown around when the person has things to hide.
Just an update - I was not able to get on his fb account. And unfortunately, I was not patient enough to wait until I could try to get in before confronting him. In a way I wanted to snoop, but I also did not want to invade his privacy too. So, I told him that I saw it and how disrespectful it was and how hurt I am. Surprisingly, he actually listened. Usually he yells and makes everything my fault. In the end, he said he wasn't thinking, he apologized, said he was wrong. So, I was glad he actually apologized...he hates doing that. He said he hasn't talked to her at all. I did believe him at first, but now...I'm still hurt so I don't know what to believe. He's acting like everything's okay now. I'm only talking to him when necessary. This whole thing is depressing me.
Did he delete her? Listening to you and taking action are two different things. He needs to SHOW you he heard you, and one step would be to delete her from his friends list.
I found an email showing a message that he sent her on facebook. It says that he has to unfriend her because I watch his page like a hawk. (That's complete bs because I never did, I trusted him 100% before this). Then he goes on saying he really wanted to get back in contact with her. He gave her his number and an email that I didn't know about.
That was enough for me. I called him and asked if he talked to her today. He paused and said yeah, just to let her know that he's unfriending her. He's out with his cousin right now, so I told him that he needs to come home to talk about this. He refuses. He says he can't do that to his cousin. How can he do this to me?!? He says he likes her, but not in the way he likes me. I told him that he obviously likes her enough to break up our family over her. He said that's my fault because I made those guidelines. Yeah, I did, he agreed to them on monday, and then broke them. And this is my fault how? He hung up on me and turned off his phone. I am hurt, ashamed, angry, you name it. Is this the real him? He's always had a very bad temper, but this is something else. I never thought he had it in him to be so cruel. I just had to vent. I feel like I'm falling apart.
See he didn't need to contact her, only to delete her and be done with it.
Nala, he's not going to respond to any more of your conversations about this woman. YOU need to take action now. He has to know you will not play this game.
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Re: He's friends with her on facebook 
