Today in another convo with H, he said everything will work out.. all I need to do is Relax.
He told me to find things to do to keep busy and my mind off the fact he is never home. He said he is putting away 1,000 a week for our new home after we retire and if he pads his pension NOW, he won't have to get a part time job after he takes retirement.
I told him I was going to buy a man dummy to sit next to me on the couch and he said to find one and he would pay for it.
UGHHHH !
He said he will not stop his plan. The problem is he did not tell me this was his plan when we married and we have not been married but a few years.
he is greedy. I think so.
Relax. pfffft, I'll show him relax, going to find some women like me and start to take vacations without him.
I did not marry to be like this and live like this and he is forcing me to do things I did not intend to do.
I take "happy" pills, my mother and aunt also take them. We call them, "don't kill ________(insert spouse's first name)" pills. LOL
I know for me that they lengthen my otherwise short fuse. Pls be sure to let us know if do get a Rx for some....put some of these folks at ease that you are trying to bury your husband.
There have to be some sort of social gatherings,clubs something in your area. I encourage you to do that. He is so disengaged...use his money to travel, go somewhere you've never been (Las Vegas is great for shows, gambling, etc...) or see a family member or friends that you have been out of touch with.(There are other ways to spend his money besides shopping). Surf the net while he is online. See what you find.
Once he retires, you can travel together & you will have a head start on him.
I take "happy" pills, my mother and aunt also take them. We call them, "don't kill ________(insert spouse's first name)" pills. LOL
I know for me that they lengthen my otherwise short fuse. Pls be sure to let us know if do get a Rx for some....put some of these folks at ease that you are trying to bury your husband.
There have to be some sort of social gatherings,clubs something in your area. I encourage you to do that. He is so disengaged...use his money to travel, go somewhere you've never been (Las Vegas is great for shows, gambling, etc...) or see a family member or friends that you have been out of touch with.(There are other ways to spend his money besides shopping). Surf the net while he is online. See what you find.
Once he retires, you can travel together & you will have a head start on him.
What is it you take ? I badly need some !
real bad........... never took any meds so I dont know which ones are the "don't kill him" ones.
yes I am looking into community things to get into...
and he says once he retires he is going to give me the "global tour" and will be with me on a vacation the rest of our lives ... but I dont know if he'll make it with all the crap he eats and hours he works
or if I'll lose my mind
or what the rest of our lives may be... could be a few weeks
and then over.
yes he is willing to give me money to ignore him
and "suck it up".... that just makes me soooooooooooooooooo mad.
UGH !
I have taken zoloft & effexor. I work in an Internal medicine office with 5 docs & they all seem to like Lexapro. I started out with wellbutrin, but it gave me dizzy spells. My mom takes Paxil.
I have taken zoloft & effexor. I work in an Internal medicine office with 5 docs & they all seem to like Lexapro. I started out with wellbutrin, but it gave me dizzy spells. My mom takes Paxil.
ok and thank you very much. I will be needing that info
It may be exactly what I need to cope with my life rigth now.
Pills often time are the lazy person's way out. Find a cognitive behavior therapist if you actually want to face your issues and not just hover above them.
Pills often time are the lazy person's way out. Find a cognitive behavior therapist if you actually want to face your issues and not just hover above them.
you are mistaken if you think that....
as I am hardly lazy.
and as far as therpaists go... I would actually rather spend my time doing something fun than that crap. My issues are my husband chooses to pad his pension and I have to wait a handful of years. We will be able to retire at 55 with a full pension, full medical and be able to move to ourt dream home at that time and pay for it cash ( he is socking away 1,000 a week for it or about 50K a year for the house)
If I can tolerate this workaholic business... and I'm trying. I did not know he was going to do this and make these choices.
so often times doesn't apply here. I am hardly lazy.
My issues are my husbands choices.
BTW I made him go to his bank with me and put me on his bank account as a co-owner in case he drops dead from his genius plan.... to do this.
and he did... no problem he said...
Ok, get your prescription filled. It will all be better after that. Just remember to not let it run out or you will have to deal with reality again.
In 5 years my reality will be retired at 55 with a full pension and full medical... living in my dream home.
If my husband works himself or eats himself to death before than, my reality will still be the same as his pension and medical will still apply to me. Not to mention his life insurance and 401K.
I will be getting somewhere like 3,000 a month for life, plus medical
insurance.
I also have my own money too ...
Could be in a handful of years my reality will be every womans dream come true... even as a widow woman
I just have to find a way to make it until then... and get this thing right with his daughter as she is an adult and needs to start growing up already and stop acting like she's 3.
Some women in my situation would have affairs, get on drugs... as I have the resources to be a veryyyyy bad girl.
I am doing my best to tolerate this workaholic BS he has thrown at me.
Well folks we have a real life potential Black Widow on the forum. You truly are ungrateful for all his effort. All you care about is getting your nest egg money. I believe you have the capability of being "verrry bad" as you say.
Well folks we have a real life potential Black Widow on the forum. You truly are ungrateful for all his effort. All you care about is getting your nest egg money. I believe you have the capability of being "verrry bad" as you say.
nothing personal mart, but you do not understand my situation at all for whatever reason so maybe you should go back to the cheating forums.
I really don't care to further explain my situation because you in fact just don't get it, maybe because you are young or never been in my position, but trust me someday you may be... so until you have something worthwhile to say you should not post in my threads.
ps, his nest egg money?
hahaha
I am already retired mart... I have my own nest egg, which is partially why he boggles my mind that he wants to do this.
I worked in medical for many years and also inheirted a large sum of money. I am not poor. I also have investments, money rolling in and dont have to even leave the house.
Why he wants to do this is HIS issue... some kind of tostererone
making him act like this. It makes no sense at all.
You are right, I only know what you've stated. You have stated that you really want to live the grand life and have a full nest egg, with benefits but you resent the fact that your husband is working for it and you wish him dead only after full benefit is reached and his work is done. Is that not what you've stated?
You are right, I only know what you've stated. You have stated that you really want to live the grand life and have a full nest egg, with benefits but you resent the fact that your husband is working for it and you wish him dead only after full benefit is reached and his work is done. Is that not what you've stated?
I am just glad your not my husband...
you are in no doubt male and very young or naive.
stop posting in my threads if you are not going to be helpful to me.
will be more like the ski slopes... long as I can stand H's stupid idea............
I will be the bunny in pink ski suit on the slopes.... you'll know me by my gray hair. ... we are retiring to seven springs Pa.
nice place... if he does before we move, I'll just get a 2 bedroom condo
even he said I should.... because even he knows his idea is stupid.
Funny you call me a nut when your the one crying "black widow"...
how do you handle when your wife gets upset?
if this is any refection of that... you got more problems than I ever will. why do you even comment on things you do not understand?
thats nutty !
Re: How do you determine the marriage is over? 
