I would like to have this question answered but I am going about it in a different angle by interjecting myself in the picture.
Here goes: I am fortunate enough to get a first date with the ladies on this forum. In a moment I will explain what you learn about me on this date but at the end of the evening one of the following happens:
1) I get Pepper Sprayed?
2) I earn a second date?
3) I get a proposal for marriage?
4) Your input is really appreciated?
So here is what you learn
1) I have absolutely no idea if I am good looking or not so here goes a description
- 5'6" tall
- Medium Build, Slight muscular appearance but have a bit of a beer (really pizza) belly
- brown hair (have all of my hair), brown eyes
2)dress business to casual
3)have job skills, employed and make a very comfortable living
4) Love children
5) Hopelessly romantic (I am serious!)
6) I feel that I am dead serious yet most everyone around me thinks that I am funny
7) Does not *love* cooking but tries to get 3 -4 meals a week on the table for that special someone
8) Does typical man chores around the house (cut grass, rotate tires, etc.)
9) Neat, clean and definitely does housework (sweep carpet, clean bathrooms)
10) Has no problem giving a back/foot rub to that special someone after a hard day
Feel free to go back and re-read the beginning of the post but I will include it below for clarity:
I would like to have this question answered but I am going about it in a different angle by interjecting myself in the picture.
Here goes: I am fortunate enough to get a first date with the ladies on this forum. In a moment I will explain what you learn about me on this date but at the end of the evening one of the following happens:
1) I get Pepper Sprayed?
2) I earn a second date?
3) I get a proposal for marriage?
4) Your input is really appreciated?
Lines 1 - 4 are the questions, specifically #4. Please accept my apologies for not adding question marks. Where in the post do you see me soliciting dates from random individuals that I have no clue what part of the world in which they reside? I specifically use me as example since I know myself best. If this is wrong then I could edit it to just have a listing of characteristics and ask for opinions on those. Let me know what is most appropriate.
Thanks
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leahdorus
What is your question? Please note this is not a dating site.
I'm sorry, I just didn't understand what you were asking, and didn't notice the subject line once I started reading your post. Sorry for any misunderstanding.
However, I'm still not clear on how the list you provided relates to the question of what do women want in a man. I'm sure many women look for qualities on your list, and they are all great ones. But for me, a list is only part of it. It's how all the qualities mix together to make the person the unique individual, and lots of other intangible things too.
If that is all I learned at the end of a date, I would go with my gut feeling. Did I have fun? Was there any chemistry? Was he a good conversationalist? Did he listen to me and seem genuinely interested? I would need to weigh these sorts of things before deciding if there would be a 2nd date.
Tall, attractive ( does not matter if he has hair or not as some men who are bald are very attractive and I dont care what color his eyes are), no belly or pizza gut ( in relative good shape and in good health), gainfully employed ( already in his profession and doing well) , no bad credit, no small kids ( no kids under 15), no crazy ex or ex girlfriend stalkers, nice personality ( easy going) and emotionally mature.
That is it in a nutshell.
The rest I can deal with, like messy in the kitchen, but without the basics I listed, not even going there....
as I would not be interested.
so it's going to vary greatly from woman to woman...
dating is hard... have to be good at dealing with rejection because dating involves lots of it.
This is a marriage site though... be better to ask people who are single or divorced and dating, wouldn't it be better to aks them?
Quite simply I'd like a man that treats me with respect. That is truthful about who he is and what he likes and doesn't like. And honesty is big as well. For instance if he has had bad past relationship experiences, what is expectations are or if he isn't thrilled about some things or choices I make. That's it. Looks really don't matter much. If two people make an emotional connection, are true to themselves and enjoy spending time together then voila! Sounds good to me.
You know what the woman of your dreams might be right under your nose. Do you have any good close girlfriends? One of them likes you but is afraid to lose you as a friend. The one that if she got a bit tipsy would follow her true desires for you. You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Your personality describes the perfect guy that woman claim to want but overlook everyday. Good Luck with your search! Let me know what you think about about my advice.
See, the kicker is that what most people want is pretty generic. Honest, open, caring, confident, stable, funny ... etc.
Having the basics in place set the stage for a more meaningful evaluation of compatibility. How you interact in normal life circumstances is where the rubber meets the road - and also where the rubber veers off the road and hits a tree.
So where do things usually start to go south?
You try to hard
You don't try hard enough
She loves you for sense of independence
She feels that you aren't emotionally available
She loves that you are driven successful professional
She feels like she takes a back seat to your job
She loves that you treat her with respect and honor
She thinks that you are too soft, a pushover
She is thrilled to have found someone that wants to spend every waking moment together.
She is put off by your emotional neediness
She admires your honesty
Until you honestly tell her something she doesn't like
Our history shapes our perspective. I can tell you with 100% certainty, I will never become serious with someone that doesn't cook. Bizarre? Maybe, but hell Mr., based on what you outlined, your dreamy compared to my ex-wife.
I dunno ... I'm really interested in the responses to this question as well, but don't know if they are a gauge of anything meaningful.
Yeah most things we want are generic. But still why haven't men gotten what we want?! LOL I personally would willingly love someone who would accept me for who i really am (yeah another generic answer haha) Its true though.
No matter how well you present yourself to others at first... the truth comes out in marriage. You can no longer hide those bad habits one's your married.
Therefore, for me a person who would accept me and not try to change the real ME (some maybe... only if its for the better) would be nice. Oh...plus the generics of course!
A little more of the "generics":
Nice smile.
Lovely eyes..
Tall...
Responsible....
and strong willed.....
that he treats me with respect goes without saying....
and
accepts me as I am.
Before I was married, long time ago I dated a control freak.
He had something ( critical) to say about everything
I did and was.
He was an expert at everything ( in his eyes) and real ass.
NO woman should be with a man like he was and as I understand
he is still single too.
I know and can understand why.
Control freaks are bad relationship news !
send a pic and i wil give an honest opinion and help you suss out your question. just remember all ppl have different ideas and wants from each personal relationship. whether it works with tht person is a different issue.
Just want to explain that physical attraction, could mean the man looks grubby but is a turn on watching him chop some wood. It's just chemistry deep down.
Asking someone what they want in a mate is often an invitation to be lied to. You will always get some combination of "looks" "personality" "funny" "treats me right" and so on. Words are not worth the paper they are printed on.
What you have to do is observe people's ACTIONS, because that will tell you what they really want. I know its a cliche, but how many times have you heard women say "I wish I could just meet a nice guy who will treat me right" only to blow off said nice guy in favor of a bad boy who needs financial support so he can quit his job. How many guys have you seen say they want a good woman to marry, yet they pass her by in favor of the thin blonde who they know is a gold digger.
The other thing you need is good self confidence. I have seen fat grubby guys become the center of attention because they were interesting and confident and fun to be around. I've seen plenty of cute guys (and girls) standing alone at parties because they didn't believe in themselves, or had nothing to offer.
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What Do Women Want in a Man? 
