theBlameGame

I have no idea that this is real but it actually happened... Ok, how should I start this. My brother-in-law is dating someone 10 years younger than he is. She is a nice girl and fun to be with. A little immature and a bit on the lazy side. I know she's very young but common when you date people 10 years older than you I think its about time you grow up. They've only been dating since for 10 months when this happened...

Now, here's the problem she is now 2 months pregnant and lazy as ever. She, in my view point and others as well, abuses my brother-in-law's kindness. I mean she asks him to get him food when she's 2 feet away from the kitchen. She doesn't do laundry nor dishes anymore because "she's pregnant". I just think it's such a bulls*it excuse. What got me upset when she told me she was pregnant was...For 5 consecutive months she has been telling me that she "might be pregnant". It was actually getting on my nerves because every month she tells me this! She even told me once, "I want a baby...a lot of my friends are having one. I want one!" She's 19!!!! She shouldn't be wanting a baby. I just think she doesn't see the gravity of having a baby. When my friends and I hung-out with her at her house we accidentally found her birth control pills and its has a lot of days skipped on it. My friend actually told her "you know this is not how you take this right?" and she just said "oh I know..." (arggggggggh!)

So when they told me she was pregnant, I was like "You knew you were messing up your birth control...Why didn't you take extra precaution?" The smile on my face immediately faded away. She said "I don't know..." I asked them if they were getting married...HE said No! Smart man! LOL I felt very upset at that time just because I feel like she kinda did it on purpose.

Now, My brother-in-law is the kind of person who would never abandon anyone specially in situations like this. He is a genuinely nice guy. I am actually happy for him but sad that its with her. No one in the family really likes her because of her immaturity and laziness. I'm getting tired of people asking me about her just because I'm the "closest" one to her. I mean people say some nasty things about her. I knew this was going to happen to.

Do people really do this???? Go to an extreme of getting pregnant just to "trap" a guy? Give me your two cents on this

Thanks

Sensitive

My husband's ex-wife trapped him into marriage by "accidently" getting pregnant. They were dating only 6 months and had no plans to marry at the time. They even went to an abortion clinic, but she begged to keep the baby. They were married 4 years. That baby is now 18, and the ex-wife is still manipulating my husband.

theBlameGame

Aaaaaaaahh! that's crazy people would actually do that!

1nurse

If men are too stupid to protect themselves with a partner and she ends up getting "accidentally" pregnant, they get what they deserve. Responsibility is a two way street.

preso

I don't know if she got preg to trap him, as he is no innocent victim in this. He was dating and sleeping with a lazy immature girl, why would anyone expect her to be anything other than she is?
Your brother should be more careful who he dates and sleeps with. after all he is 10 years older and should have enough sense to understand how babies are made.
I think he's going to be stuck with this girl for some time... if not living with her or married to her, in paying child support.
This was his choice to date someone with her traits.... so maybe they are not as offensive to him as they are you.
Could be that the 30 year old women in his age group do not appeal to him due to his immaturity, thus why he feels safe and good with the 19 year old.
Just try to get along with her when your in the same room with her, your attempting to control her will just backfuire, she is what she is and its not you who has been sleeping with her or has to live with her or will end up paying child support to her.

It helps get things into focus when you look at it from both sides. He was someone dating and sleeping with a woman 10 years younger, who is immature and lazy, so why should he not be held accountable for his actions and any consequences of that choice he made?
He is experiencing a result of his actions.

With me, I've been thinking this morning before coming online how many of my lifes problems are no things I make a choice on, things that people bring to me, things I have no control over... and
I am learning not to take sides before knowing the whole picture.

wonder

what is your BIL doing dating a 19 yr old?. true, she's not a minor, but it's not like he can take her out for a drink or anything. he may be a nice guy, but he sounds just as immature. he could have used protection while sleeping w/ her. why didn't he anyway? pills, even when taken right, aren't 100%. and what if she did have an std. he made his bed, now he has to lay in it. he says he won't marry her, but don't be surprised if they do. just take a step back, it's not your life. he's a big boy, let him deal w/it

SaxonMan

People do some stupid things when they're desperate - and immature.

When I was eighteen years old, my other half secretly stopped taking the pill and became pregnant. I think it was to stop me leaving when I found out that she had slept with my brother. It didn't work. I don't blame her.

It's just a silly move of an immature person. Yes, people do really do that. :-)

preso

When I was 18 -19 years old I had no interest in a guy 28-29, although I had some friends who did. Never understood it myself, but to each their own.
Even more shocking to me is how someone in the 19 year old range could want kids... they are so young and have not gotten a degree, its just so much responsibility for someone that age.

Tr000thSeeker

Obviously you care about your brother-in-law. So what are you going to do about it, to achieve the best result?

snix11

Troll?