Up until now, I have no reason to believe she is seeing anyone. She is an honorable woman and she would not lie. Has not lied in the past 24 years to me ever.
Just because she is not in love with me any more, does not mean she has all of a sudden gone against her nature.
She is a good woman, any man would count themselves lucky to have her attention.
We are over, I've realized over the past few months. There is no going back.
I have to go forward and I can't work on her, I can't make her have an interest in me.
Nice to hear you are moving forward. It's going to be tough somedays, I KNOW but you'll be okay. I'm proud of you. Sounds like your on the road to self discovery, learning from past mistakes, and ready for a new you!! Your kids will be a great sense of comfort for you and happiness. Sounds like you have all your ducks in a row. Your future happiness depends on you and only you. KUDOS!!!
I wanted to. So did she at one point. We wanted to reconcile for the kids, and to recover what we had - a decade ago.
It wasn't going to work. It didn't work. Neither of us doubts that we can find happiness apart. What was far less certain was if we could find it together.
Issues are never as cut and dry as they appear, and if they have built up over years, it can take years to undo them.
When it comes down to it, we both know what we missed about our marriage. But the reality was, that we didn't have what we wanted in our marriage for many years.
I know very well how rough it can be, and will be. Keep going.
If she wants to date, then let her figure out where she wants to move. The dating before a divorce=disaster. Nothing good comes of it including herself. I would take a tough love stance. Let her know what your boundaries are and tell her to move on, if she wants to date.
Besides the obvious pain you'll suffer, the kids will learn that it's alright to do this; but they will also see your pain and know that their mother is the cause of it. They may grow to hate her for that.
Any dates will have to be elsewhere. And I would suggest that she not stay overnight! Again, what the kids will learn from that.
You might want to talk to a lawyer. If she dates while still married (I would think it would be considered cheating, adultery), it might, uh, improve your grounds for divorce...in your favor.
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It ain't illegal until you're caught!
My husband declared that he wanted the same situation as your wife. Because of our finances, he wanted the kids and I to live in the same house (He wanted to live in our in-law suite to which we rented out). He wanted to move on. Said "that he needed to find himself". He had shut me out emotionally and physically for so long now. I took the kids and left.
He had an affair over the summer and is begging for me back. Says that he realized what he lost.
But at what cost? I am now across the country trying to upgrade my edu, etc. I figure that I will find myself now and just concentrate on the kids as they need atleast one parent to be strong.
She maybe trying this, depends on your marriage history and stress level. If she truly loves you, she will come back. Then you will be faced up with some hard decisions. Whether she does or doesn't, you need to happy with yourself and those kids.
They are going to need some stability in their life after seeing "mom" with new BFs. AND for their sake, keep your emations behind closed doors! They can react in all the wrong ways that may affect their education, social lives, future BFs - Gfs. Some teenagers even try to recreate a new family to make up losing their present one.
I feel like I understand your wife. I am still with my husband but I dont think it is going to be for much longer. I too am sick and tired of having my thoughts and ideas shot down in flames as stupid. I have said so many times how this makes me feel but nothing changes. All the promises that it will be different, the promises just go in one ear and out the other now. You know if you picture love as a big rock, you know the kind of love and lust we all feel for our partner right at the beginning, well every time a nasty thing is said or our feelings get hurt or there is an argument its like you take a chisel and you chip some of the rock away, well over time if you just keep chipping away the one day the rock is no longer there, there is nothing to fight for, nothing to hope for and nothing to dream for anymore. What there was is gone and its gone for good, sometimes you just have to accept that its over, there is nothing there anymore and move on. I think you should either, get out of the house and move, or if you are going to stay then make a new life for yourself, if you wife is dating then it is over and its time maybe you started dating to
wow this sounds like what I am going through right now. My husband served me divorce papers on july 4th and we are still living in the same house, I don't want the divorce but he has moved on and just recently told me we are done. So now I just get to sit back and watch him date and be happy. We have four kids together 16 to 6 but that doesn't seem to matter. I can't go anywhere I need to be here for the kids. Like last night he took our two boys and his mom and GF to an angel came, then tomorrow he is going on a cancer walk with her so yah having him in the house and being happy really sucks. We have only been married 9 years would be 10 this november. You just take it one day at a time and concentrate on the kids, its going to hurt but there is nothing we can do to change their minds. I am so sorry you are also going through this.
Re: Anyway to get her back, or ?
