mammah

My husband and I have been married since September but have only lived together for about 2 months due to him being away in the Air Force. We married young(I'm 20 and he's 23) and are trying work out the kinks of our relationship. We only knew each other 3 months prior to getting married so it is a learning process. I am not typically a jealous person and trust him alot but seeing as he has lied a few times about girls I have become somewhat jealous and tend to 'snoop' a bit into his computer and whatnot. Now I know this is wrong but I can't help it because he has lied to me so I feel like it is the only way to know the truth. Before he met me he was considering going back to his ex-girlfriend who he dated for 3 years. She is the only serious relationship besides me he has ever had. Now let me just say I know my husband loves me but I just feel like to have a working relationship forever you really need to let go of those past relationships and I feel like he has not let her go. She is 24 years old and has a daughter. She has had a hard life and his family was there for her so much so that she lived with them for a decent ammount of time when they were dating. They broke up about 2 years ago and since have stayed friends but he has hooked up with her several times since they broke up. Now here is the problem- She ims him online and texts/calls him too much for my liking. He keeps saying he can't just not talk to her...my question is why? We moved to florida(he is from west virginia) so it's not like he is going to see her again. He keeps saying she doesn't have anybody there for her so that's why she turns to him but at this point I mean she is 24 years old with a daughter...why does she need to turn to my husband for her problems? In my opinion, she should grow up and realize he is married and take charge of her own life. Well, I thought he had finally stepped out and stopped talking to her till I swore I saw a text on his phone from her so I decided to check his computer(after weeks of not checking it because I really trusted he hadn't talked to her) and sure enough they talked...

I guess I just don't know why he cares more about her feelings then mine. If I'm uncomfortable with him talking to her should he respect that? What can I do to bring this up again without telling him I know they talked because I snooped his computer?

I really hate being a jealous wife but I feel like he leaves me no choice...ughh

sapphire1906

Your husband needs a serious wake up call. You know what I would do? Pack his suticase, put it by the door for when he comes home and when he walks him and sees it tell him you packed his stuff so he can leave and go back to his ex. men are physical creatures they need to see a visual a lot of times to get the picture. TOO BAD this other girl doesnt have anyone Im sure she has a fAMILY. he married you. marriage is sacred and too many people take it way too lightly and its disgusting. he needs to be called out and let him see that he cant have his cake and it it too.

Mo Simpson

I think you should talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. I personally wouldn't go packing any bags right now because that's just inflammatory and the situation needs you to be calm and clear.

Make him understand that it's not acceptable for his ex to be asking for and receiving so much support from him. He needs to understand that you are his wife and he has made a commitment to you and your marriage.

Sounds like you both need a period of getting to know each other since your relationship before you married was only a matter of months and still is! You can't get to know each other if you're checking up on him and you have the pressure of this ex! She needs to leave the scene and he needs to be the one to say goodbye to her!