I totally agree that you need to focus on yourself here..I know its not simple and that even with all the work in the world on yourself you could till feel miserable being with this man...it's true that its is a matter of deciding whether you want to be with him....
I know first hand the effect that exposure to porn can have on SOME men....its everywhere...we live in a society that has become pornified even when I walked down the road yesterday I saw a teen wearing a t -shirt saying 'porn star'. Sure, porn has always been around in some form or another but nowadays its free, easily accessible and anomymous...available at the click of a button.,...
The interesting thing is that the vast majority of this porn only respresents a very narrow view of how females look and behave sexually...It is not uncommon for fat old men to be seen having sex with apparently flawless young women whos bodies have clearly neve been through the effects of pregnancy and childbirth most women have....When men watch this rubbish often enough it distorts their idea and expectations. A recent study has shown that exposure to even 'soft porn' image cause s a man to rate his partner as less attractive. Men are often represented in porn with a wide cross section to appeal to the consumers, however mainstream mags always feature the same type of girl...Of course there is now a lot of non mainstream porn which features women who dont fit the usualy porn criteria.....but when we look at the overwhelming majority of mainstream porn the women have very similar characteristics...Some will say, oh thats because its what appeals to men....but a social scientist will tell you that it is a socially conditioned response...It varies from society to society...For example, in some countries a long neck is considered the epitome of beauty, in others a heavy woman far exceeds a thin one in beauty , for others small feet may be considered ideal....Time is another factor...in the past women who are todays top models would have been laughed at and considered scrawny.. In our western world one can easily see the percieved ideal as represented through media (porn included) the high availablility and increased use of porn is creating probems in many relationships...The upside of this is that there is support...One of the best sites I know is .....
Support Board - Home
maybe it will be helpful to you
Here is quick excerpt from the study from McMaster University:
The first involved showing photographs of opposite-sex underwear models, which the 87 male and 66 female study participants pre-determined to be attractive. The researchers also showed the participants photographs of abstract art.
Following the photograph presentations, the test subjects rated their current partners on 17 attributes that included things like physical attractiveness, intelligence, warmth and desirability. If single, the participants were asked to rate images of strangers.
Mathematical computer analysis of the results found that men who viewed the model images nearly always rated their mates lower than men who viewed the abstract art.
Single male test subjects likewise tended to rate other women lower after they had seen the sexy images.
The women participants, however, were unaffected by the photos.'
Is it possible your husband has conditioned himself to only find the typical porn type attractive? If so, that it HIS problem...it is now up to you to decide whether this is the sort of man you want!
New here need advise
