My wife has been cheated on in previous relationships...men sneaking around behind her back. They have scarred her.
Even though we have been together almost 5 years and married for three of those years, she is still always checking up on me and accusing me of cheating or doing things behind her back.
It also doesn't help the situation any that I'm a computer programmer and she's not a power user. She always thinks that, while I tell her I'm not doing anything behind her back, I'm still doing something behind her back because I'm a programmer and can hide my trail.
I bought her a laptop for Christmas that sits in our dining room and we both use it to check email and Facebook.
This morning, I was finishing checking messages and stuff and had started to shut down everything when she walked up. Just as she walked up, my browser window closed. She freaked out saying that I was hiding something as she walked up.
I only have a little while in the morning to get on the computer before going to work. This same thing happened the other day with the same result. For me, I'm just getting up from the computer to get ready for work but she sees it as something else....I'm hiding things from her.
I've gone over it a million times with her that I'm not cheating on her. Years ago, I cut off all communication with female friends and past girlfriends who were still friends because I saw this was a problem for her.
Yet, she still believes I am doing something behind her back. It causes a big argument at least once or twice each month.
Can someone give me a female opinion of how I can reassure her that I am being honest and faithful to her?
Let me reassure you all that I am a faithful, devoted husband. I'm even somewhat of a fool in that I stayed with my first wife for 10 years trying to make things better even though she had lost interest in the marriage years before. I just kept trying to make it work.
I'm not a woman, but I will give the solution anway for you to read if you want.
Your woman is insecure both from the past relationships, but most importantly, because in this relationship now with you, it is you that has not stepped up to the plate to SHOW her with action, and not just words, that she is beautiful to you and desired by you.
Here are the facts:
STOP bending over backwards to please your woman, it will not work.
Even to your comments about your past marriage, let me make this perfectly clear again, STOP bending over backwards to please a woman, it will NOT work.
Instead of whatever you are doing that is not working, try this.
The next time your woman is pushing your buttons for cheating, grab her and kiss her for a few seconds, even to pull her hair slightly, and afterwards smack her hard on her rear end, and tell her "as long as you are a good girl you don't have anything to worry about", and simply walk away and do something else.
The man that has done this, has shown his woman the mettle he is made of, and the woman will both feel very sexy, and have no reason to "test" her man, since he has already blown away the test!
It is the self-confident man that makes a woman burn inside sexually, especially if she is thinking you can have any woman and still choose her. This the cure for the insecurity, and the key to your happiness.
And it is the "weak man" that will make a woman be insecure and always having to test the mettle of her man. This is the way to make both the woman and man miserable, and the man to wish for the day of his death.
So again this is not a female opinion that you are asking for, but it is the truth.
I wish you well.