Hello, this is my first post here. I don't like to talk to my friends about my husband because I feel they will be biased and once the idea is in their head, it's there!
I've been married for nearly 25 yrs. The first 15 sucked! We seperated and were on again, off again for about a year. He begged me to come home and promised me things would change. In a lot of ways they have.
Before, he was very verbally & emotionally abusive. For about the first year, we did everything together. It was almost too much togetherness! Now, he goes to work, comes home, rests for about half an hr. in bed and then up he goes and out into his garage to work on his hobbies.
Everytime I go outside, he's on the phone with one of his fellow hobby buddies. Yackity, Yack! I swear, he spends more time on the phone than any woman I know! Then around dark, he comes in, eats, watches a little TV, surfs the net...looking at boards that have somthing to do with his hobbies and then to bed.
We don't like the same kind of shows on TV, when I ask him to go anywhere with me, he either doesn't want to go or puts stipulations on it, like, OK but, we're only staying for a little bit, etc..
Bottom line is, I just feel like we don't spend much quality time together. Just because he's in the garage doesn't mean he's with me. I don't want 100% of his time, I understand he works and needs time to do the things he enjoys but, shouldn't one of those things be spending time with his wife?
He has many good qualities but, I feel he's very selfish. It seems he would have learned a lesson when I left him but, it's like it never happened.
I want to be wanted.
We've had several conversations about this and he immediately gets mad, raises his voice and I end up feeling like the bad guy. It almost feels useless to talk to him about it anymore.
Am I being unfair?
I've been married for nearly 25 yrs. The first 15 sucked! We seperated and were on again, off again for about a year. He begged me to come home and promised me things would change. In a lot of ways they have.
Before, he was very verbally & emotionally abusive. For about the first year, we did everything together. It was almost too much togetherness! Now, he goes to work, comes home, rests for about half an hr. in bed and then up he goes and out into his garage to work on his hobbies.
Everytime I go outside, he's on the phone with one of his fellow hobby buddies. Yackity, Yack! I swear, he spends more time on the phone than any woman I know! Then around dark, he comes in, eats, watches a little TV, surfs the net...looking at boards that have somthing to do with his hobbies and then to bed.
We don't like the same kind of shows on TV, when I ask him to go anywhere with me, he either doesn't want to go or puts stipulations on it, like, OK but, we're only staying for a little bit, etc..
Bottom line is, I just feel like we don't spend much quality time together. Just because he's in the garage doesn't mean he's with me. I don't want 100% of his time, I understand he works and needs time to do the things he enjoys but, shouldn't one of those things be spending time with his wife?
He has many good qualities but, I feel he's very selfish. It seems he would have learned a lesson when I left him but, it's like it never happened.
I want to be wanted.
We've had several conversations about this and he immediately gets mad, raises his voice and I end up feeling like the bad guy. It almost feels useless to talk to him about it anymore.
Am I being unfair?