Lately my husband and I have been fighting A LOT. We're in the process of selling our house but I know it hasn't been that stressful. Well, basically my husband is very, very traditional. I stay home and clean and take care of our child. But he's just mean. Downright mean. I'm pretty sure he's been stealing my friends things while they've been over (like a ring, an iPod and yesterday a bra) and he treats me like crap. For example, he won't buy me any groceries. He thinks it's because I've been smoking, but I haven't. All I have in my pantry is meatballs and chicken noodle soup. I'm pregnant! I need more than that! Not to mention my 20-month-old!
And since it's been like this I've been going over to my parent's for dinner with my DD. But my husband got irritated because I was taking "his" car (which is my car that he paid for) everywhere. Thus last night he took the battery out of my car.
Then he took my cell phone because I had taken 5 dollars out of his wallet to get me and my toddler some food yesterday. :-(
I'm so confused. I don't even know what to do, where to start, who to talk to. I'd try to talk to my mom, but she is very traditional as well so she believes as long as he's not hitting me or cheating on me I should be able to work through anything. I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I'm scared I'm going to lose this baby not only because of all this mental stress, but from hunger! And yes, I've tried talking to him, writing him letters, everything under the sun. But I get nothing. No response. He's just a military man with no emotions. Help.
Honestly? I want to leave him. But I can't. I am in love with him, and I do want my children to grow up with a father. But he's also my life support. I don't have a job and there's no way I could raise two children on my own. I know he'd never hit me, he could be discharged from the military for that (and he works full-time at the base, so that would be bad). And I know he truly loves me. I just want a way to work this all out without having to get counselors involved.
Oh yeah. Another thing.
He's not putting our daughter on his health insurance until he think I've quit smoking.
since he is military, you have many options others don't...
for instance, you have other military wives who can be a good source of support for you as well as the ability to set up an
appointment with his C. O. ( his boss) about your problems so that you can be directed where to go for help be in counseling or
food stamp office. If you live on base, special considerations could be made for you to obtain food too.
Many people in your situation do not have those options, so you should seek help first through other military wives on where help may be found for you in the way of food and perhaps
too, find a resource through military to help with the marriage problems and your husbands mean-ness.
I guess you are alos using military medical for your pregnancy?
you can also speak to the base doctor about your issues with food. Doctor may be able to helo very much.
How is your relationship with him in general. What are the good areas and what are the bad. Why is he preventing you buying food? Are you overweight?
He does seem to be controlling you. The fact that you don't want out is alarming...
I'm like 10 pounds overweight. But I'm also pregnant. And when he met me I was like 50 pounds overweight. I've actually LOST weight since we've been together, so I know it's not because he wants me to be thinner.
And yes, he's always been VERY controlling. Very, very controllng. And unfortunately I don't live on base, nor do I know any of the other wives. We live an hour away from base right now (which is why we're moving) so I haven't met ANYBODY. He's not active duty, he's a works as a civilian up there. But you have to be in the Air Force to work the civilian job.
Anyway, it's been like this for a long time. And I'm just so... confused. I'm very young and I know everyone is counting on me to make this work so I'm not just another "stupid" "naive" girl who falls into an dumb marriage.
By the way, I had my first when I was 19. I'm now 21 with my second. The father/my husband is 6 years older than me.
Something is not right with orginal poster, you hubby a military person or works for the military.
A woman of this post would have so much backup in her life.
Please enlighten us.
No, wrong. He is not active duty, we do not live on base, I literally only know one other military wife - and luckily I had taken down her number a couple of weeks ago. I actually just texted her. I am not a troll. I am in dire need of help. My parents are here for me, but I feel like they're biased because they are traditional. All of my friends already hate him, so I need a clean slate with people I don't know.
Please don't think I'm trolling, I promise you I'm not.