outinthecold

I cried a little bit today

Some mornings I get up and I can't get back to sleep

My girls are so wonderful

They went shopping yesterday for the house

I love them so

If I were by myself I know I would go crazy or just exercise all the time

The pain is less today

shelleyv

Hi there
the best thing i can say to you right now, is you dont want to be with someone, who doesnt want to be with you. Dont you deserve better than that. what is it about this other guy that she loves that you dont have? Its the oldest saying in the world, but time does heal everything. Just find joy in your kids now, and they need you to be there for them also. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they were yours, if they dont, they never were. Good luck.

outinthecold

Thank you shelleyv

You are right, who wants to be with someone who doesn't want you.

Actually, from the short glimpse that I saw him in the photo, he's overweight, nothing wrong with that, just she was after me all the time to loose weight, he looks older, a lot of white hair.

He is a manager at a health club, still nothing wrong with that, just part of what she adored about me was my intellect. She thought it was sooo sexy that I'm a smart person.

I make a really good living 85+ a year, own my own home, now I really own my own home.

I have an exciting past, Army, working on my own, owned my own consulting business etc.

College educated went to U of Michigan

I'm really fit, working on my 6 pack abs, almost there, need to loose a bit more fat.

I play a multitude of sports well, lettered in tennis, soccer, football, wrestling.

I'm a really good person, I'm the best father in the world, I'm taking full financial responsibility for the girls.

Yes you are right, I am definitely a good catch. Who needs someone who doesn't want you.

I'm getting there.

caribbean_dating

Once you're already sure about what you really want to happen that's the time you will make a move whether make yourself busy at work or find ways to let her back.

outinthecold

Thanks caribbean_dating

in my heart I know she is not coming back

I have the children to worry about and their futures

for me, I can eat bitters for a while

mistake maker

I like hearinf that you are putting yourself and the kids first. That is what I am trying hard to do.

outinthecold

It is very difficult, but as my late grand mother use to say, "Eat Some Bitters for your heart"

When I was young I did not know what she meant, as I have gotten older I find myself saying the same phrase often.

I wish I had paid more attention to my grandmother while she was alive.

Somedays I miss her terribly.

"Eating Bitters", is good

The meaning is delayed gratification for yourself.

You wait for the right time,

You invoke your own patience,

You count to 10,

You do with what you have.

Someday it will fall in place.

Putting your children first, if we all just did that, "What a wonderful world"

outinthecold

I watch movies quite a bit.

A habit since I was a lach-key kid, meaning I had a key to the house.

I walked home alone everyday since I was 6 and stayed by myself until my mother came home at around 5:30.

I think things in the movie phrases like from "Kingdom of Heaven"

In the movie, a Saracen says, "Your qualities will be known among your enemies before you ever meet them"

Well, I don't have any enemies, I think of this as my "Reputation Precedes Me"

I try to live up to this everyday.

What do people think of me before I meet them?

What do people know of me before I meet them?

I hope they know I am a man of honor, generosity and high moral character.

This is what I try and live everyday.

This is what I project to my children everyday.

This is how I treat my soon-to-be-ex-wife everyday.

outinthecold

I can't just shut the ex out.

I can't treat her like someone who never existed.

I can't separate her from me.

People tell me to.

People tell me to cut her off.

People tell me to setup boundaries and barriers between.

People tell me to spread the news about her affair to everyone.

People tell me not to comfort her when she cries.

I say I have everything to gain.

The children have everything to gain if I help my ex-wife.

I have only more sorrow if I choose the lower road verses the high road.

The children have everything to gain if she prospers verses the pit of despair.

I have to help

I have to ignore my personal pride to do everything I possibly can to help everyone.

outinthecold

Have to get it thru my thick head, it is over, move on

dcrim

OITC...hang on/in!

For the rest of you...no, OITC is not dcrim!

My boys played soccer for nearly their whole lives (they wanted to play sports and I wouldn't allow football...they chose soccer). I do know what a sweet goal is! Seen hundreds of them! BTW, oldest son's "select" team had a 216, 6, 6 record! Both played all positions from striker to keeper...oldest settled into sweeper, youngest liked keeper.

OITC, I'm glad the fence was there! Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. No shame.

Hang in dude! I know what it feels like to see pix! That's how I found out about xgf's marriage. I know you felt sick! I left immediately and didn't even look at the rest of the pix.

Only you can decide when the no contact point is reached. Get there and ONLY deal with kid issues. Shut her out of your life as much as possible.

__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!

outinthecold

Through this experience, I have developed deep connections with people that I otherwise would never have had.

Richard, my best friend
Dave, my best online friend
Bob, my best oldest friend
Betsy, my best office friend and office wife
Ray, my best boss mentor friend
Cindy, my best HR friend
Chris, my best youngest friend
Lisa, my long lost friend
Sam, my best financial friend
Ted, my best youngest looking friend
Marge, my best mom friend
Yaz, my best can't find a man friend

Other friends upon friends that have reached out to me and offered me kindness.

I have changed, people say this all the time, often very hard to do.
I pay attention to people more, I am more patient with my children and just things in general. What energy you give out is what you receive back.
I have grown spiritually.

Karma is real, karma is all around.

I was in the pit of despair but I have steadily climbed my way out.

I look forward to being free.

momentary lapse

Wow! I'm new here.....wish I didn't have to be here at all, but that's my stupid mistake and a whole other story.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I have just spent the morning reading through all of your posts. I'm glad to see there were a lot of them, and that there has been some sort of conclusion to your situation. I don't think my heart could have taken reading your posts day by day and waiting to see how you were doing. It really was heartbreaking to read some of your posts.

I felt so much better when I read your posts when you were having good days! And to find out that you are taking care of your kids and working on YOU! You're going to make it, and I'm so proud of you for that. Hang in there!

There has to be light at the end of every tunnel....at least that is what I keep telling myself! Keep thinking the good things~~~

PineappleLady

If you love her- FIGHT for her. Do not stand it any longer. Show her how you can love her. Get off your butt, turn off the computer, and so whatever it takes to get her back. Now- don't wait anymore- go!

outinthecold

Dear: momentary lapse

I thank you for reading, all the emotions are raw from my heart to the keyboard.

I am better, I just have to reinforce the "It is over".

It is over.

I am glad that people are taking some things from this.

There is road for you and for all of us.

The heart is strong, we have no control over it.

It points and we go.

We have no choice as people.

Whatever your situation, I hope you can gleam some retrospective footpath for where you want to be.