Spent a lot of time down there when I was a kid. We always stayed at this KOA campground in Lake of the Ozarks.. that is my favorite place on the planet.
The zoo here is horrible.. i think they have a dog and a cat .. dang lil city lol
No, it's good to have someone to talk to, especially someone who understands. I'm SO sorry I missed your call (I was away from the phone and didn't see the missed call until this morning)! If you want to try again this evening, I promise I'll be there!
I've put my own story out there. It helps to get rid of the poison.
And don't worry about blubbering! I went on a 3 day binge and my daughter said she could barely understand me! To hear her tell it is funny.
You're not a downer...just hurting. If your friends are tired of you calling, then I'd be glad to listen. That's what people should do!
__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!
My boss told me a story about his divorce. One day his wife said," I want a divorce", it tore him up inside.
Years past, because of the kids events, he and she constantly together in interaction.
They got back together for a short time, then apart
A few more years past, they got back together for a short time, then apart
A few more years past, they got back together for a short time, then apart
Each time it took a toll on his mind and heart, he drank, he dated, he fell apart.
A few more years past, she said, "There is still something there, I want to try again"
He said, "Whoa, I'm living thru hell again" he asked her to go to counseling, as separate people, then together. Their first session together after 6 months of therapy separately ended up in a big fight. This went on for weeks, until they had a break thru. Gradually over another 6 months, they began talking in a dialogue that was not hurtful. A year later, they got back together permanently.
This was over 8 long years
They had another 12 years together before she died. I was at the funeral
I think he told me about this as inspiration, but I don't want this to be my life.
I miss her so much, I wrecked this marriage
I can follow all the gimmicks out there on "How To Get Her Back" they don't work, not for real problems.
Mostly, I know I have to let her go. True Love will come back.
It may be my legacy
I'll wait and see, just concentrate on the little girls right now, sob a lot in silence.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think your wife suggesting you should date is her way of trying to feel less guilty about what she is doing. She is still married afterall. IMO, that's the last thing you need right now, even if you wanted to.
I was happy to read you are training for a marathon...I ran the OC 1/2 marathon a few years back and a full one amazes me...and yes, some of the Kenyan full marathon runners passed me up
Anyway, running is a great way for me to release a lot of built up frustration and I feel good afterwards so that is a great thing to be doing right now, especially with your girls...that is great.
Bottom line, you acknowledge that you did many things wrong as a husband over the years, but don't beat yourself up...it may be too little too late at this point for you to make changes or based on the statistics her new relationship is likely to crash and burn within 6 months and she may have a change of heart.
At this point, for your own sanity, I would work on changing the things about yourself that you acknowledge were not positive, for you, not to win her back, and start to rebuild confidence in who you are. Eventually, you will get to a place where you will know what you will do in the event she wants to come back and work on the marriage. I wouldn't want the roller coaster your boss described either.
I am sorry you are in such pain. It can really help to try and think differently about this situation. If you assume it will "destroy" you and your kids, it's much more likely to. If you see it as an opportunity for personal growth and a new stage of life, if you present it as an adventure to your kids (while staying sensitive to their needs), then all of you will do much better. You have said that you aren't burdening your kids, and that's GREAT. They do not need to burden of trying to take care of you, and frankly, behaving in a positive way with and around them will be good for you, too. There is a fine line between accepting one's feelings and giving in to those feelings-the former is necessary, the latter is useless and potentially damaging. But you are doing a lot of things right-finding help in friends and online, venting, pursuing things with your kids (marathon, going out to dinner, etc). Time will really help. I'm already divorced, and I've been through another serious break up, too, and I know that wallowing in self-pity is the WORST thing one can do, and anything you can do to avoid that is great. Best of luck! I have a feeling you will do well, even though it will not feel like that at times.
I said pretty much the same things to my now ex-husband. I was done, but I did care about him and want him to be happy. We'd been together since we were 17 and had 4 kids together, too. Weird huh?
I knew I was done. It was way beyond going to counceling or working things out between us. I did want him to be happy and have as painless a divorce as possible though. Unfortunately, I don't think there is any such thing. Keep a journal, when you feel upset and about to scream, write it down, email it, vent on here. It does help to just get it out.
In the end, you both deserve some one who loves you as much as you love them. If she can't do that then take a deep breath, and give yourself the time to heal.
Re: It hurts sooooo bad right now ...
