It hurts sooooo bad right now ...

Rhea · 08-26-2009, 10:04 PM

Yeah...someday...hopefully.

recent_cloud · 08-27-2009, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outinthecold

She came by today to take the kids to a movie.

After the incident at Sam's club, I have no wish to look at her.

I look down when I speak to her, she is no longer my wife.

She has moved on with a new man.

I remind myself of this to keep my perspective.

Ladies, picture a baseball hit out into center field, a an outfielder runs to catch it, at the last minute something gets into his eye and he looses track of the ball. His glove moves at the last instant and the ball breaks the shadow of the sun. A whish of air, he sees the stitching, too late to react, the ball impacts his brow making a sickening wet leather slap against his forehead.

This is how I feel.

I must keep moving, I most forget, I must never look back, something is gaining on me.

lol priceless

outinthecold · 08-27-2009, 08:55 AM

Yep, today is going to be a good day

outinthecold · 08-28-2009, 01:35 PM

Time does fly

I'm back again on the right track

Heading down the bunny trail

Hippy Hoppy

All along the way

I will be free

I'm working on my abs of steel, I'm still about 20 lbs away.

I've dropped from 245 down to 213

I think my abs will be more defined as I reach 200.

My real goal is 185, what I weighted when I got out of basic training.

But there again I was only 20.

I'm gonna make a video and put it out on youtube

I think you guys will be shocked when you see it.

outinthecold · 08-28-2009, 10:18 PM

Anybody think I'm better off that she is gone?

I've watched a few of these skits on youtube where the wife leaves.

Most of the guys seem very happy

Some of them see down right ecstatic with laughter

I mean, I get almost everything,

The house will be paid for in 7 years

Maybe I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth?

outinthecold · 08-30-2009, 01:22 AM

I feel so indifferent today

I can't move until the little one is much older

It seems everything is planned out for the next 7 years and I have no choice

On the other hand, everyday brings new promise.

New connections

New people to connect me to other people

I still have relapses, remembering the past

I have to keep motivated that the past is gone

Long live my future

Loving Husband · 08-30-2009, 07:36 AM

Its time to disconnect.. Start doing things you enjoy. It's the only way to move forward. Sitting in the past is doing no good for you. It only hurts more.

Dark Angel · 08-30-2009, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outinthecold

You want to reach out and touch someone feel their face, stroke their hair.

No one there.

YES! Those little things that seem so simple, yet I long for them again sooo badly.

I get caught up in the moment so easily. Why do I have to feel so much? I drives me crazy sometimes!

I already let someone else into my life, but shes too busy, never there. So Im still missing all those things when shes not around.

The way she looks at me and smiles
The way she wears her hair
The way she throws her head back when she laughs
That touch..

I could go on forever already.

Ugh why do I do these things to myself.

outinthecold · 08-30-2009, 07:32 PM

Dear: Dark Angel

I know, I know

I'm at a stage almost,

almost at the cliff's edge,

edge of night

night to day

day dreams

dreams in sleep

sleep, ahh relief

You will get there my friend,

There is an end to your destination,

Each journey must begin and end, each part of the journey is a step forward.

Short cut your journey and the end becomes further away.

outinthecold · 08-30-2009, 10:28 PM

Somedays like today it seems surreal.

She comes over, tucks the kids in, then leaves

I know she is gone, emotionally, physically,

but, I am also empathetic to her feelings,

it must be a constant emotional nightmare to leave your kids behind,

not to enjoy the company of your older kids,

I have emotional and physical contact with the older kids everyday.

I brush their hair,

I watch them get up in the morning,

I see the fun teasing, arguing about clothes, the constant flux of the refrigerator, I see them eat, I see them snack, I see them lay around.

I am there for their childhood,

She only sees glimpses like a movie with blackout frames.

Or a story with redacted words.

Her choice.

But, no going back

I am on a track with a destination unknown

As Buddha says, "We Are What We Think We Are"

or "What We Think We Become"

outinthecold · 08-31-2009, 09:34 AM

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.

Oscar Wilde

momentary lapse · 08-31-2009, 10:05 AM

Hang in there! Be grateful that you have the chance to be with your kids and spend time with them. I know you are! It's your Xs problem that she's not.....

optimistvik · 08-31-2009, 11:18 AM

Past is past enjoy your future now

Ideal Gifts for all Ocassion: BobbleHead

outinthecold · 09-01-2009, 05:00 AM

Yes, I do have a future

I have a lot of free time I guess

The little one is off with mom

The bigger ones are with their friends

I have free time

What to do with myself during this free time.

Been trying to volunteer at the local hospital

Seems like one delay after another

Friends can only stand me for so long

What to do

What to do

optimistvik · 09-01-2009, 11:29 AM

Just Sit & relax & chat with us . Don't take any tensions