I went to therapy today, my therapist was this cute 23 year girl.
My oldest is only 20.
I didn't feel awkward, I told her everything. She was shocked that I would open so much on the first session. She thanked me for being so frank and honest.
I will continue to go.
It felt good to talk it out with a stranger, sort of like here.
I appreciate all the warm sentiment. I don't really know what to do. What I am going to do is concentrate on myself and the girls.
Get myself to a better state of mind.
I do still care for her and want her back but right now I know it is not possible.
Never know though, the future is the future.
Anything can happen, like I could get my ideal woman, top model, trust fund, blonde, Ph.d or MD
scarletblue, your story is very discouraging to me. Not that your personal story is discouraging but my attempts in my future.
I have hope only for the reason, she is a sobbing mess and she was teetering back and forth just a little while ago.
She came back to me, but I blew it. I had not made any real change in my life nor was I able at the time to recognize it. She says she gives me chances all the time but I blow those too.
Recently, within the past two days, I have experienced just the littlest crack of hope.
We were talking about our deceased grandparents and she teared up. I started rubbing her back, I asked first if it was all right (I have not touched her in over two months). She nodded ok, and we began to talk more deeply about feelings.
Yesterday morning, she said all on her own, "there are moments that I want you as a friend". This is a long way from when two months ago she said, "Friends, we were never friends, why would I want to be your friend, more like yelling".
Right before I went to therapy, she called and we talked for an hour (while I was at work, had to hide in the dead storage) she volunteered, "I know you will get better, you will heal yourself for yourself, I don't want you to wait around for a year or two years or something for me".
I may be disillusion or a true optimist but I think there is just a littlest blade of grass chance here.
I know the attraction is still there. I have lost a lot of weight over these months of being dumped. I catch her eyeing my waist line. She is very aware that I have been dressing nicely for work (I'm usually a slob, this is part of taking care of myself).
We have always had monster attraction for each other. This is another reason why, I think a chance has cropped up and I'm going to nourish it and not do my usual foot stomping on it.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you I just got home from my H's apt lots of talking and well some other things I too and hoping there's a whatever blades grass thingy mabobber of a chance too and am not stomping either...
Take it slow as you said baby steps Rebuild the attraction Happy Friday
Lol, yep I've been in it a few times...not a real outdoors type, myself, though. Mostly I go when I need something specific (like I need a new vest with lots of pockets - this one's getting raggedy; I just don't want a camo one ).
Well...beer and steak...sounds like a winner. The best steak I ever had was at a place called Texas Roadhouse, locally. It was for my birthday last year and was so good, I ate it with nothing on it!
Well we are in a room...it's just virtual. Besides with people's distances from each other, there'd be some serious jet lag. But I know what you mean...sometimes you need to hear a real voice, to see a real person. That's why I offered for you to call me (real sorry I missed the call!).
Could you imagine everyone from here in a room? It would have to be a grand ballroom or something! And imagine people drifting around to the various conversation topics. No single little group staying constant as people join and move on and return while the topic stayed the same. Sounds like it would be a madhouse!
__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!
I'm so glad your first session went well! And am glad to hear you had some decent conversation with your SO... please continue to go to the therapy sessions, even if things with her seem to be improving, there is nothing wrong with continuing to improve yourself!
tonight, or rather last night we took the exchange teachers out to dinner along with a few other parents. There were twelve of us. One of the teachers brought up how much our youngest, Sophie looks like her mom, my wife started to tear up.
I don't know how to read these signs, she is already a really emotional person.
I also don't want to read too much into these. I'm trying to be the best friend I can be.
I can't go back. That part is dead, marriage is dead, my wife really is dead.
I have to concentrate on going forward to woe my wife again.
I know its there, she keeps telling me how she wants so much for me.
The guy in the picture, she has said that she has an emotional connection and nothing else.
She also has said she respects me too much to have something more while living in the same house. She said she would move out if her relationship moved beyond talking and phone calls or if she were actually dating.
She is a really good woman and her past history has shown me that she always speaks the truth.
But I know, to a woman an emotional connection is everything.
Outinthecold, hang in there. I know it's difficult.
Three back. I promise it will get better...but it WILL take time. I'm already not hurting any more...2 months after being dumped, 1 month after her wedding. I still don't like it all...but I'm getting on with life!
One day, even one hour at a time.
And do NOT get involved with support of Emma!! That will be a disaster for you personally. Do not see her alone! Make sure there's always someone else present.
__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!
My oldest said to me today that the only guide she has had for love has been her parents.
She believes in true love because she saw that her parents could survive anything.
So she broke up with her boyfriend of almost a year, to be just friends and is now dating another boy so that she can at least have a clear understanding of love and who fits into that glove.
I just found this out a few moments ago. I feel awful.
My daughter says my wife gives me mixed signals. She asks me to do things for her which is a mixed signal. She also buys me things when out at the store, she has the kids buy me things I know she picked out for me. She puts soda in the refrigerator just for me and then tells me so.
Mixed signals, Huh ?
The wife and I had a little fight today. Not extremely serious but a step backwards.
Although we did resolve it, no make up but we resolved and talked more. She too is hurting over this impending divorce. She too has doubts, she too is crying everyday other what has happened.
She basically cries about everything. She really needs to see a counselor but she won't go.
I was having such a good day today. The sun was out, I was feeling independent. Middle of the day, it was a fight with the wife, now top it off with my daughter in love not in love.
Re: It hurts sooooo bad right now ...
I just got home from my H's apt 
lots of talking and well some other things 
I too and hoping there's a whatever blades grass thingy mabobber of a chance too and am not stomping either...
Re: It hurts sooooo bad right now ...
