Glad things are going well!I must admit you are progressing a lot faster then i did at the time.
I Can look back and reflect and see the life changes that have happened and honestly say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me!I dint think i would have grown into the person lam today and wouldn't have felt the experience that i feel today.
As time goes by you grow and find your own path,life becomes enjoyable and there are so many amazing experiences that will follow.I understand when you say the ex is a different person then you remember-even this diminishes.I can honestly say that
i don't have any ill feelings for my ex,i truly wish her happiness in her life because she is still the mother of my children.
I have my own path in life and still try to put the effort into being a better person,father and husband.
Believe me, a year ago, I was down and out, headed for the deep freeze.
So many people came to my aid, co-workers, life long friends, people who were just acquaintances are now my closest bestest friends.
And of course the people on this site, so much encouragement, so much love for me.
I did meet someone on this site that we became close enough to be Facebook friends, she lived far away, we spoke a few dozen times a day. She was even planning on coming to visit me but for some reason or other she backed away. I do miss her voice, her excitement, and most of all her friendship.
She helped me a great deal, I hope to pay it forward to someone else who needs help one of these days.
I thank you for your words.
I'll keep going, looking after those precious gifts I have.
OITC, I saw myself in you, been in that situation I almost gave up 2 suicide attempt if not my kids I done long time, that was two and half years ago, I should have seen this site before my husband came back when the woman cheated on him despite her being married at that time and cheating on her husband to be with my husband, oh well karma che cheated on my husband and her husband divorced her when their affair came out in public. I am into relationship now though im not divorce yet, (for some reason im scared of divorce) found this very good and loving man, my husband tried to come back to me but my feelings is not the same. i suffered enough from him and despite being married to him for 18 yrs and 5 yrs as BF
I admire you, and not all guys can do what you're doing for your girls, my BF is almost the same like you ...Good luck and will continue reading your post.
Cheating, Karma. I was asked once, "Why do you want her back".
I really could not answer, she already cheated on me once when we were young.
Again, well shame on me right, I'm a fool.
I know we are just human beings, we all carry hurt, some hurt from childhood that robs us of a good state of mind.
The problem is this type of hurt is usually done to us by a parent. Yes, parents are responsible all the time even after death.
The X-wife has become her father, her father cheated on her mother repeatedly, then finally leaving her for another younger woman who he eventually married and is still married to today.
So the X-Wife's saga continues, no one knows where this will end.
For me though, there can never be any relationship with her. Not even as friends. I can't associate myself with someone so lacking on morals and character. The divorce, the cheating was all about her. Her needs over anyone else's.
Being a father is glorious. I can think of nothing better to do in life. I love every minute of it. My legacy.
With the love of my children in mind, I must keep everything I do, everything I hold dear in the brightest light of day. Never can I stray from a path of honor, character, love and dignity.
I try everyday.
Since you are parent, your decisions will be true, keep your children in mind at all times, they are always watching, always listening and always pretending to be you.
Hi OITC, good morning to you. It makes me realize how impotant it is to be physically and mentally okay during situation like this. my work is very stressful (i work in engineering industry for oil company) and requires full attention. talking to me about what parents hav done to us we caarry until we get older. My h family is very popular in cheating in fact my father in law, had kids from other woman and my MIL took care of these kids, my h brother starting having affair when he 29 and stopped at age 60, in my culture women are supposed to be patient and wait until h starighten up and go back to his family, In my case i didn't wait after 1 1/2 yr hearing from my h move on and have a bf, i did it and then he came back. that confuses my kids and hurt me so bad. family is very important to me, will i stay in my marraige or move on with my life? i don't know
thank you OITC, everyday is struggle for although it been 2 years and 7 months th pain seems not going away. Everyday just thinking of taking my life if not for my kids I am gone long time. I believe that there is always good things that will happen out from bad. and I believe God has better plan for me and my kids. my only hope is for my kids to grow responsible and finisg school and this is already a fulfillment for me. Everyday is a chance for him , but at this time that chance is gone I am moving forward with my life and close the chapter with him.
Wish you the best and your kids and know that they will never forget all your sacrifices for them. You'll be rewarded with love and respect from them ..goodluck to both of us
I was talking to a soccer buddy of mine the other day, I had no idea he was divorced.
We've only been soccer friends on opposite teams.
We got to talking and he told me he was divorced 3 years. His X-wife pays him child support and alimony.
He is friends with her. Neither one of them have really moved on, emotionally. Although he told me she ended the marriage by having a short affair so she could not go back.
He told me for her, it was her mother that put a deep hurt into her since childhood.
I accept that we are human, the part I don't except is what we do to our children. Each layer of hurt pushed onto the next generation.
I do not know how my children will turn out. Their relationship with their mother will always be in contention. How she ended the marriage, they will always have questions, they will never be satisfied with any answer she gives. Always this dark cloud lingering around.
The eventually is forgiveness, she will ask for it, they will have to decide for themselves if, when they can forgive her.
Until then, they will not be able to move on from their hurt.
I do my best to provide support. They hold nothing against me, they simply love me as their father everyday.
well i understand how you feel.But you need to know why she left you and be better.People say that they wanna change all the time,but they couldnt really do it,why?because of the habits.So figure out yourself,and let your wife notice that.anyway thanks for sharing.
Wow you are definetly a good man, I hope your restaurant does very well. Not sure how it plays into your wanting to move.
I am curious you say that a lot of what happened was your fault because you were a jerk. So have you changed that much or am I an asshead. There is no way in hell I would have ever given this woman any financial support, I would have thought you were a great guy just letting her slide on not paying child support.
I personally dont think you ever were a jerk, how does a jerk change to the point of making his kids his #1 focus in life. How does a jerk pay a cheating wife ailmoney while supporting 4 kids and take all of her debt as his own.
I think you may have been a bit hard on yourself and going through the guilt stage, but a jerk does not do these kind of things.
Personally, I would have supported the kids and would have wanted them but I would not have given the cheating X one dime. She made that bed so I would have let her sleep in it. I so dont see you as being a jerk.