OUTINTHECOLD: Thank you for the "hope" this offers. I have gone through your posts. So very much that resonants! Its been 6 months now since my wife of 20 years left me & our 2 wonderful daughters to be with her girlfriend.
A wonderful family?! She opts to leave?! ... no longer compatiable ... needs freedom and space ... to explore and experience. Yes, its been very painful and hard ... your posts describe the agony so well. And show that there is hope to come out of it all ...
Thanks for continuing with your posts ... for sharing your experiences and insights .... it helps me try to set my own course. Still hard, still painful .. reading your story has been helpful.
Hi, I Think You need to talk with Your wife and explain to her that How much bad u feeling now without her. You need to Give feel her that u realize Your mistake but if she still not listen You than in that case u need to one good Marriage Counselor who meet Your wife on the behalf of You and sought out Your problem and Make again Your life with Happy Married life.
Hard to believe but 3 years have passed, really? Funny I look at my Join Date over to the left, Apr 2009. From break-up to move out to divorce.
Well the two older daughters have moved out, the oldest has still a year left in college, took some time off to be with her boyfriend. The 2nd in line went off last year to discover herself, volunteer work, then more volunteer work off to Peru, then in the fall she will become a Gator. The 3rd still lives with me and will for a while about to get her drivers license and the 4th has to endure the life of divorce as a back pack kid.
Emotionally, I'm all gone, none left, also angar-less if there is such a hyphenated word. I'm quoting Gotye "Somebody that I used to know". Yes, she has become that. I still don't look at her, I talk at the ground or in the air or none at all. Strange things have happened though, whether it be fate or karma you pick or some would say just life happens. The X's grandmother recently died, it would be sad but she was a bigot and raised two selfish boys one of which is my X-father-in-law.
To top things off, the X-father-in-law recently was diagnosed with all sorts of cancer and a brain tumor. He's about to croak, sorry about being so callous but he's an a s s h o l e, a really big one. He had affairs, then left my X-mother-in-law for a younger model of which he had the nerve to marry and bring into their family. Life is life, trying to gleam some meaning out of it is preposterous
So the X has followed the path of her father, as I recall she cheated on me before we were married while dating, once that I know of while we were married and was probably cheating with her now boyfriend as she was exiting. I read once that "Somebody is happy in a divorce". I think it's me in this case because I've come to the part where I DON'T want people to know she is the X-Wife. She has never looked so bad, her and her boyfriend have probably put on about 60 pounds each. Maybe a slight exaggeration but no lie about the massive weight gain. She hasn't looked this big since 7-8 months along in a pregnancy and without the nice breast enhancements and the glow of being with child, she's just dull looking and basically fat. Did I mention he's still UN-employed and balding now. They make a nice couple.
As for me, I'm in great shape. Almost have my six-pack back. I've been participating in races throughout the last year, Warrior Dash, ToughMudder some local stuff 5K, 10K et al. I'm trying to get to 1000 burpees in a row, I'm up to 300. I do this every other day. Plus I'm been doing "Insanity" workout. That's a killer. I'm emotionally OK. Being sometimes alone in the house is strange, but ok. Never realised how big the house actually is with just me in it. Sometimes the teen is out with her friends and the younger one is over with her mother. I'm the opposite of lonely. I could be, I have all the circumstances of loneliness but I'm NOT. I see friends when I want, I play soccer all the time, go to the bar and ogle the bar maids when they lean over. I will have oodles of money here shortly 2 years to go until I stop paying the X, 2 years after that and I'll own my house. I figure I can buy a Porsche and fly to Hawaii every weekend, something to look forward too, but in reality I'll have tuition bills for the remaining two. What a good father I am. I'll probably rent out the house by then and get something smaller. That's all the news for now.
Remember guys and gals, if you are in distress about a long term relationship breaking up, the blame rests 50/50 sometimes more like 30/70. We all have choice, we make the right one sometimes and vice versa. It is up to each of us to make ourselves happy. There is always more grass over the hedge, greener, browner, less of it, but it is a choice. Can't make people make the right choice. Look at me, I thought the end of the world was coming to my house, but I'm ok and you will be also. Let it take it's course in your life, feel everything, bottle up nothing, talk your friends to death. You will be OK
You sound like you really have it together, good for you. My first marriage broke up after my ex cheated on me and basically didn't want to be marrried to me. Today she is about 150 lbs heavier then when we were together and her husband is also over weight and half bald. I went on to earn my degree and marry a women 10 years younger then me. Just like you, it seemed so bleak way back when but today, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Remember guys and gals, if you are in distress about a long term relationship breaking up, the blame rests 50/50 sometimes more like 30/70. We all have choice, we make the right one sometimes and vice versa. It is up to each of us to make ourselves happy. There is always more grass over the hedge, greener, browner, less of it, but it is a choice. Can't make people make the right choice. Look at me, I thought the end of the world was coming to my house, but I'm ok and you will be also. Let it take it's course in your life, feel everything, bottle up nothing, talk your friends to death. You will be OK
Thank you so very much for these words!! Oh how I need them in my life right now to help me cope with my anxiety and insecurities! I'm saving this quote and will refer to it whenever my anxiety starts getting the best of me. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over!!
And all the best to you in your new, post-divorce life!
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Re: It hurts sooooo bad right now ... 
Re: It hurts sooooo bad right now ... 
