I have gained some weight since getting married 2 years ago, mostly due to the cooking and heavy calorie food my husband brings home... and wants me too cook.
Yesterday I started a diet and back on weight watchers, which I have folowed in the past.
I'm doing GREAT.. BUT NOW ??? he wants to eat MY FOOD !!!
I've done this 2 days now and he eats 2 to 3 times, maybe 4X as many points ( or calories) as I do !!!
according to weight watchers, he should weigh 500 pounds by his caloric intake !!! ( he weighs about 170)
this is what his meals look like the last 2 days
breakfast: 2 jimmy owens breakfast sandwiches, coffee or soda
( I have a soy smoothie with greens or yougurt and fruit)
lunch: what I eat for weight watchers for my lunch, usually a salad with some type of very lean and grilled meat... ( I eat only 4 oz of meat- for the protien)
BUT he has about 6 to 8 cookies afterwords and of course his soda
dinner: meat... either on a sandwich or two with cheese and mayo/ lettuce or meat as in meatballs and spagetti
and of course a soda. ( I eat salad or yougurt and maybe a rice cake)
snacks: cereal or donuts or ramen noodles and more soda and chips, lots of chips of all types including potato and those cheese covered strofoam looking things (yuck)
( I have an apple, maybe 1 diet soda and I make sure to drink at least 1.5-2 qts of pure water daily) He does not drink any water, only soda and coffee.
he says he has been wanting cake too...
this is ticking me off !!! I told him I was going to eat MY FOOD and not his. If he wanted to gorge massive amounts of food thats fine but I am cooking only 1X a day and what I do cook is my weight watchers meals. If he wants to add to it,
go for it, but I'm not cooking it, going to the store to buy it and not messing with it. period.
I hope to start losing some weight soon. He is not messing me up anymore !
This issue of food and diet is a constant source of conflict.
He no longer brings home giant cakes and trays of cinomon rolls...... I put an end to that !
but it took some time.
I am taking control !!! of my diet !!! yes I am !
and I am already feeling better eating better. I love my green smoothies, they are full of vitamins !
Yay! Good for you! Ask him periodically if he's felt any twinges in chest!
I've had 2 heart attacks before I changed my eating habits. Got 2 stents, too. Except for a certain little heartache recently, I never felt better.
My brother (the one who's widow is my xgf) used to eat like your H and he died of a heart attack. Even the helicopter couldn't get him from the country to town fast enough. My surviving brother had one, too and refuses to change his eating. I'm the first born and at this rate will be the last one standing.
We all had our HAs at about the same relative age, around 48. I was fortunate in working around the corner from one hospital, living a mile or two from the other.
Before the year 2000, I seriously didn't expect to live long enough to see it. But I'm still here.
Why don't you see about printing all the posts relating to this and let him read it? Would it help any?
I have talked to him about this issue endlessly. He has his delusions and he's sticking to them.
His parents are both alive and healthy and his grandparents and g- grandparents all lived longer than average lifespans and all very healthy, because of this, he thinks he can eat however and whatever he likes
BUT HE DOES NOT SEE, THEY MOST LIKELY DID NOT EAT THE JUNK HE DOES !
I mean my H eats so much fat and sugar its UNREAL !
I've never seen anything like it !!!
He should weigh 500 pounds ! he just loves to eat and into all the cooking shows...
he loves meat, steak mostly. He has cut back to 1X a week on the porterhouse since I refuse to buy anymore of them !
so... I'm alone on this and have to do my own thing before he gets me to his side and I'll end up being his 800 pound wife.
this food thing is really an issue for us.
I dont want to be fat or sick when I'm older.
He could care less and thinks he's Immune or something !
I would not be a fat and jolly person, thats for sure !
Today he comes home and stops at the grocery store.
He brings home sugary cereal, sugary canned beans.
Also saugage and hash browns.
I say nothing but I do not let him mingle his CRap with the
good food as I do not want it in my kitchen.
I am on day 4 of my diet too and motivation is waning... and we are
constantly at this food war.
I am not going to be thin and healthy doing things his way and he will not be alive for long doing things his way with his food choices.
He eats for taste and as a hobby.. I am trying to eat right for health and vitality.
It is a battle each day !!!
His breakfast today : eggs fried in fat, hashbrowns fried in fat, toast with butter, sausage ( fatty kind) ... and of course SODA and tons of ketcup on his eggs.
I am having a soy smoothie later when he gets out of the kitchen.
how freaking sad...
he eats so badly and there is nothing I can do about it.
Today it's ther 6th day of my new plan. Told husband to stop buying sausage as the freezer has at least 6 packages and that should last him for the summer.
I think I have droppped a few pounds too and feeling much better. His meals, his cooking is just too much for me.
I make my food and some of his, his main meal and he snacks on all his garbage still.
yeah I know. This is a perk of getting married later in life I guess...
being that he is well insured and the pension benefits will come to me if he does die from his sausage fest diet.
I will have 2 pensions coming in !!!! My gosh.. I may get some travel guides for italy and greece !
I love the taste of sausage but eating it every few months is enough. I'm not going to convert my dietary beliefs and diet standards to his. no way....
he can fuss all he wants, not going to happen.
and trust me... he is sure fussing !
Guess he thinks if he whines enough, he'll get his way, but not on this. no way !
This is so frustrating, you just don't know. I hardly have any room in the kitchen or fridge or freezer as he's stocked it up with his death foods !!!
What about turkey sausage? (It's actually much, much better than it sounds) There are compromises he can make if he'll give it a shot.
Mommy, I know what you mean and had the same thought !!!
only the turkey did not go over well with him
I loved it and even bought some ground turkey
( not turkey sausage ) but he only likes beef and pork ... sighhhhhhhhhhhh
he is just really into the death foods it seems and nothing anyone can do.
back on topic...
G R E A T N E W S !!!!!
It's been 6 days since I started this new way and I HAVE LOST 6 POUNDS in 6 days and feeling soooo
very good !!!
I hope to gradually start walk/run or a light jog again someday soon. I miss being in shape as I was in super duper shape for a 50 year old woman... getting back there and looks like it won't be long. I have the will of a stubborn bull when I make my mind up to do something and I'm not going to get fat and sick in my old age... even if husband wants to.. I'm NOT going there !
Preso, I sympathize with your fights. We are eating healthier, and while I don't eat anywhere near as poorly as your husband does, we do have the conflict of me wanting to eat things that she won't/doesn't want to eat.
The most effective way we've kept the peace is by agreeing to divide how we eat. I want to, and DO eat healthy during most of the week -- smoothies and egg whites for dinner, a balanced breakfast, a small sandwich for lunch. On the weekends though, I do want to enjoy some of the less healthy stuff. We do fight over it sometimes, but its worked well.
As has been said, you can talk to your husband until your are blue in the face. You can guilt him by telling him how much you'll both resent and miss him when he's gone, and at the end of the day, none of it will do any good.
You won't know until he changes or drops dead. He could die tomorrow, or he could outlive you.
I think the only agreement you can make (which it sounds like he keeps for a while, but breaks occasionally) is that you'll each eat separate diets, and whatever consequences befall you will happen.
On a side note, be careful with the soy. I assume you are eating it in small quantities, but I've heard that too much soy can be devastating to older women.
Preso, the term "food WARS" seems to be really appropriate. My husband is one of those skinny guys that eats everything too, but I don't find myself getting mad at HIS metabolism.
I eat my 'diet' food and a portion of what he cooks for dinner. He used to get upset when I wouldn't eat everything he cooked (even the fattening stuff) but I very gently reminded him that I was trying to lose weight and then complimented him heavily on the stuff I Could eat.
Having gone thru every diet program in the world, I found some software called DietPower that has helped me to lose (and keep losing) weight without having to eat anything special or buy certain foods. It's really easy and I'm still losing 3-5 lbs a week!
I also have two teenage boys in the house - try only allowing soy stuff in the house with them! I decided long ago that my metabolism and my diet was "my" problem, not theirs.
You sound very angry at your husband, and using food wars to express it. Try getting to the bottom of your anger and resentment and addressing it directly with him. Surely you aren't really angry at his metabolism? I hear in your posts that you feel undervalued by him (broken hamburger, diet sabotage) and you are feeling he is not respecting you. Think of some positive ways he could make you feel great about the two of you that don't involve food
Many dietary prefences come from our upbringing... in my situation my parent was a health food nut and a runner ( miles per day)
and my husbands upbringing was not like this.
He feels good eating junk food and I don't... to eat grease messes with my head as I can't enjoy something I think is going to effect my health.
We do make compromises, like when he grilled the burgers I had one.. not the kind he had with a bun, cheese, peppers, chips, soda and chocolate milkshakes........
but a plain one with grilled zuccini and a diet soda.
Maybe when he sees me lose weight and get healthier, start running again, he will want to eat better. ???
I usually eat vegan, which is my prefered diet...but in this case I am now eating some meat ( about 4 oz a day for the protien)
His family were not health consious like mine... its too bad but I'm doing my best with it.
Here we go again.
He is having whataburger/ fries and a shake, after eating his dinner, maybe I'm not feeding him enough?
For his lunch I made him breaded chicken planks, corn, mashed potato, gravy and key lime pie with whip cream.
He also had cereal/ milk, cookies and of course tons of soda pop.
he isn't fat, not gaining weight.
Don't know what to make of it.
For his lunch last week, 2 days in a row he had porterhouse steak.
When I mention all the fat and cholestrol he eats all he says is:
If I die, you'll be a rich widow