what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
Mine is that I was recently able to retire from work and still off kilter as to what I'm supposed to be doing with myself now..
lol
( I am retired from a civil service job and get a pension)
I'm finding in my age group ( 45-55) most people are not that lucky and I'm finding it hard to make new friends.
The friends I do have are busy working, live a long way and we aren't able to get together or do much of anything, I know how it is, been there with being so tired and having household and personal tasks to complete before your new week starts.
I'm finding myself a little off kilter with my social life and seeking new platonic friendships, a hard thing to do in todays world.
I feel like a teenager in life, stuck between youth and old age. Hoping I can find others like myself who want nothing more of a relationship other than to hang out from time to time, perhaps into health or art related hobbies and pastimes ( no drama and drama/ chaos).
My personal issues at this time is building a new life as a retired person. There could be as many as 30 more good years and I sure want to enjoy them !
The first 4 years of early retirment were reallllllly great and I got to do a lot of thing around the house that needed to be done, but in the last year, I seem to have run out of projects, don't care to start new ones and know I need to begin a new life. Not many people in my position I know and I am thankful, yet...
seems all the people I'm meeting have lives so filled with drama, chaos and general BS, they are not even nice to be around.
so...
this is a challenge, to find and create new and worthwhile friendships and I am doing some things and trying.
Being we plan to move in about 6 years to a complete different part of the world, I know it will be easier to meet people ( worhwhile friendships) than it is here, as the area I'm in now is mostly a working, not retirment area... and also is the fact we live far below our means in the area we're in... which lacks badly on the recreation element. Most people are only here briefly and work related, it is an area of work, not recreation and most people do not retire here, only pass through per professional matters.
so..
this is my personal challenge and it's sure not been easy for me.
My husband is fully aware of this and my challenges.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
I'm still dealing with being alone.
My daughter has been there for me, always.
But I still want a warm body next to me. Someone I can love unconditionally. Someone to share (the rest of) my life with. I just don't want to die alone.
oh, boy...that sounds heavy!
I just want companionship, I guess. Someone to love me and "be there"... I want someone to share a glass of wine with, dinner, a show (of some kind). IDK...
ah heck...i"m in a funk again...guess I need more rum...
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
My 33 year old daughter has brain cancer.
She's been OK for the last three years , but always have this niggling back of my mind, just under the surface feeling of expecting the next shoe to drop and the brain cancer to rear it's ugly head again .
She has three small children and a husband of 10 years. It all bites in the mightiest sense of the word .
ANY other personal problem type stuff other than that is just small change. KWIM?
Sometimes you are the bug sometimes you are the windshield. I just prefer ME being the bug and my kids only windshields.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
It is very difficult to find "New Old Friends"
How do you find them?
I have friends sort of that are my children's parents. We socialize around the children but not otherwise.
I have really old friends that do not live near me (30+ years).
I suppose if I don't get busy soon looking for other people to socialize with I will be out of luck.
Sociological studies say a person can only maintain about 5 core friends and an inner circle of 10, next circle of 35 and the final circle is about 100.
Some of the inner circle will include family members.
I have seen people do this at gatherings (church, family gatherings, parks, sporting games, around the neighbourhood etc.), introduce themselves, get talking, talk for a while about anything, then a random occurrence happens, you run into them somewhere unexpectedly, then a real random friendship starts. Some time will pass and you see them again. Then it is warm, like someone stoked the friendship fire for you, then time will pass you see them again, and now it is a friendship blaze. Thats when you greet each other with a big smile, big healthy handshake maybe even a pat on the shoulders on the back, women naturally hug at this time.
This is a random occurrence for most of us mere social mortals. Some people can do this all the time.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
My husband still works so he isn't going anywhere.
I'm so looking forword to when he is able to get his work pension and we can get the heck out of here !
I am meeting people, like I said but no one I want to get to chummy with. For instance last week I met a girl who seemed very nice, but after 30 minutes and her telling me about herself and her suicide attempts I wanted no part of anything to do with her...
For one thing, she has a 2 year old and she tried to kill herself?
with the baby in the house with her?
She is plain sick... so I had to get away from her.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
Preso, have you thought about taking a class through the community college or your local parks & rec? Something that's totally for fun? That way you could meet people and if you click, great! If not, when the class is over you don't have to see them again.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
For me i guess its finding good honest friends, I only have one right now, but she has lots of issues, so we only talk once a week... I just lost my JOB, so I am staying home for the summer with the kids,
My strained relationship with my family, especially my parents whom i was extremely close to before i got married the 2nd time around, which was almost a year ago,
Sometimes i feel so sad cuz i feel i have lost my parents for good and don't know how to get it back.
Other than that i am a pretty happy person. I love being married now....
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
[QUOTE=Sandy55;61405]My 33 year old daughter has brain cancer.
She's been OK for the last three years , but always have this niggling back of my mind, just under the surface feeling of expecting the next shoe to drop and the brain cancer to rear it's ugly head again .
QUOTE]
oh my gosh, how awful.
I'll pray for her, and you too.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dizzy
Preso, have you thought about taking a class through the community college or your local parks & rec? Something that's totally for fun? That way you could meet people and if you click, great! If not, when the class is over you don't have to see them again.
yes- have thought of that
and I have and have a few ideas I'm working on now.
classes are also being considered.
Re: what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related)
As for making friends, my rule of thumb is, don't rule out anyone! Age, gender, background--doesn't matter. Everyone enriches your life. And each friend brings their friends to your life too, so your circle widens. . . someone's grandmother or younger sister may be the friend you have always wanted! It's so cool to have friends of so many ages, etc. I feel very blessed.
Only one group I've found is not usually very conducive to good friendships: women with lots of sisters near by. These women won't have time for friends, even if the two of you click. They have family obligations all the time. You can be friends, but don't expect the friendship to progress much, even over time. Keep your eye out for THEIR friends, though! They may have others, like you, looking for closer friendships. A woman I just adore as a friend has lots of sisters, so we see each other rarely, and it's always like we pick up just where we left off--but still, rarely. I've made another much closer friend through her! And some of my closest friends are at work, and are male. Just don't try to be friends with a man to whom you have a strong sexual attraction if either of you is married. Just isn't worth it!
what are your biggest personal problems at this time? ( not marriage related) 
, but always have this niggling back of my mind, just under the surface feeling of expecting the next shoe to drop and the brain cancer to rear it's ugly head again 
and a husband of 10 years. It all bites in the mightiest sense of the word 
type stuff other than that is just small change. KWIM?
