If you could recommend a book.... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 06:16 PM Thread Starter
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If you could recommend a book....

That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 06:20 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

I think it won't be a good idea for you to just give him a book like that even if you find it. He will feel offended and he won't read it.
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 06:21 PM
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 06:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

Greenpearl:

I was looking for suggestions since I don't seem to be able to get through to him. I doubt I am alone in the situation.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 06:47 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

He's a reader then?

Maybe write him a letter?

Or is he into psychology? What types of things does he like to read, and what types of things does he 'buy into'?


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 07:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

That girl:

This is part of the problem. I have a letter but I don't want to say the wrong thing. So,I thought if I could find a book that would reinforce what I've been talking about, so much the better.

Do you know what nmmng stands for? I was on the men's forum and a someone found this helpful, I just can't decipher the letters!
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 07:08 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpearl View Post
I think it won't be a good idea for you to just give him a book like that even if you find it. He will feel offended and he won't read it.
I agree.

Has your husband asked for your help?

For the record I am getting ALL my needs met now and my husband didn't read not one book. All change starts with YOU not your spouse.
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 09:03 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
After 22 years of marriage and facing an empty nest my wife asked me to read 2 books, "Its (Mostly) His Fault" by Robert Alter, and John Gray's "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom".

We both learned from the books. The two books together gave us a better understanding of each others feelings, emotions, and needs. They worked for us where face to face communication didn't. Eight years later we still discuss what we read. I wish we had been able to read them much earlier in our relationship.

They are both easy to read.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 09:07 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

NNMNG= No more mister nice guy.

I suggest writing a letter.

I can help if you like. I won't judge or share it. But I can help you get it across the right way. I wrote a letter for my H that brought him to tears and this man does NOT cry. Ever.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 11:04 PM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
I would suggest one of those big picture books where they have a lot of interior scenes and dishes and the menus from a bunch of fancy restaurants
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 07:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

Chelsea blue:

You understand what I was getting at. I am/will of course read the same books. I am reading HNHN but the chapter on his sexual needs is so far out in left field that I can't relate to that chapter.

That girl:

I will,seriously consider your offer. I have been drafting a letter over the past 6 weeks or so but I don't want to put something in writing that I can't take back you know? I have given him letters in the past that really put what. I was trying to say into perspective. Sex is a whole new ball of wax to be writing about and I admit I am a bit apprehensive about it. You would think that after being together as long as we have that this would be easy - it's not.

TYH:

Very funny!!

Thank you for the input.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 10:44 AM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
I suggest you set aside some time to READ the book together, out loud as a discussion starter. Make it playful, not critical. Give concrete examples vs. abstract.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 AM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

For Men Only

For Women Only


I would highly recommend 'For Men Only and For Women Only. H and I read them several years ago. Last Month I came across interviews with the H/W author team (interviews at the links above). The interviews are in addition to the books. H and I listened to them as our daily devotions. Both the books & interviews are full of information to help you both understand what's going on in each others heads and hearts.

For a funnier side: also look into Mark Gungor's Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage dvd seminar. He gets the points across to H & W in the form of humor. We learned a lot with them too. Here are a couple links to some examples of what's on the dvds. Hilarious!

Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain - YouTube

Ask More Than Once - YouTube

Courage: is not having the strength to go on……..It is going on when you don’t have the strength
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 11:35 AM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

What also has worked for us is writing a letter to the other, but then reading it out loud.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 11:58 AM
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Re: If you could recommend a book....

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
What also has worked for us is writing a letter to the other, but then reading it out loud.

Great idea!!

Courage: is not having the strength to go on……..It is going on when you don’t have the strength
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