If you could recommend a book....
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default If you could recommend a book....

That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

I think it won't be a good idea for you to just give him a book like that even if you find it. He will feel offended and he won't read it.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

The Five Love Languages. Excellent book.

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts: Amazon.co.uk: Chapman Gary: Books
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

Greenpearl:

I was looking for suggestions since I don't seem to be able to get through to him. I doubt I am alone in the situation.
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

He's a reader then?

Maybe write him a letter?

Or is he into psychology? What types of things does he like to read, and what types of things does he 'buy into'?
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

That girl:

This is part of the problem. I have a letter but I don't want to say the wrong thing. So,I thought if I could find a book that would reinforce what I've been talking about, so much the better.

Do you know what nmmng stands for? I was on the men's forum and a someone found this helpful, I just can't decipher the letters!
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:08 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpearl View Post
I think it won't be a good idea for you to just give him a book like that even if you find it. He will feel offended and he won't read it.
I agree.

Has your husband asked for your help?

For the record I am getting ALL my needs met now and my husband didn't read not one book. All change starts with YOU not your spouse.
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
After 22 years of marriage and facing an empty nest my wife asked me to read 2 books, "Its (Mostly) His Fault" by Robert Alter, and John Gray's "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom".

We both learned from the books. The two books together gave us a better understanding of each others feelings, emotions, and needs. They worked for us where face to face communication didn't. Eight years later we still discuss what we read. I wish we had been able to read them much earlier in our relationship.

They are both easy to read.
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

NNMNG= No more mister nice guy.

I suggest writing a letter.

I can help if you like. I won't judge or share it. But I can help you get it across the right way. I wrote a letter for my H that brought him to tears and this man does NOT cry. Ever.
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Old 11-19-2012, 11:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
I would suggest one of those big picture books where they have a lot of interior scenes and dishes and the menus from a bunch of fancy restaurants
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

Chelsea blue:

You understand what I was getting at. I am/will of course read the same books. I am reading HNHN but the chapter on his sexual needs is so far out in left field that I can't relate to that chapter.

That girl:

I will,seriously consider your offer. I have been drafting a letter over the past 6 weeks or so but I don't want to put something in writing that I can't take back you know? I have given him letters in the past that really put what. I was trying to say into perspective. Sex is a whole new ball of wax to be writing about and I admit I am a bit apprehensive about it. You would think that after being together as long as we have that this would be easy - it's not.

TYH:

Very funny!!

Thank you for the input.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

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That a wife could give to a husband to help him understand what her needs are, what book would that be?
I suggest you set aside some time to READ the book together, out loud as a discussion starter. Make it playful, not critical. Give concrete examples vs. abstract.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

For Men Only

For Women Only


I would highly recommend 'For Men Only and For Women Only. H and I read them several years ago. Last Month I came across interviews with the H/W author team (interviews at the links above). The interviews are in addition to the books. H and I listened to them as our daily devotions. Both the books & interviews are full of information to help you both understand what's going on in each others heads and hearts.

For a funnier side: also look into Mark Gungor's Laugh Your Way To a Better Marriage dvd seminar. He gets the points across to H & W in the form of humor. We learned a lot with them too. Here are a couple links to some examples of what's on the dvds. Hilarious!

Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain - YouTube

Ask More Than Once - YouTube
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

What also has worked for us is writing a letter to the other, but then reading it out loud.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:58 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: If you could recommend a book....

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What also has worked for us is writing a letter to the other, but then reading it out loud.

Great idea!!
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