mispookie1

i have this same issue have you resolved this prob, lets talk..lol

Chopblock

I am a man in the same position as your husband, let me tell you that I can't remember the last time the wait between sex was "only a week". The latest drought is 6 months and counting, with 2 months droughts in between.

The person who said that you both want the same thing but neither of you want to give in is spot on the money. If you sit there thinking that you are right and HE should give in, then you won't get ANYWHERE! You have to recognize that he is sitting there thinking YOU should give in. Those two things are mutually exclusive.

In the course of the thread, you revealed how he doesn't help with the housework. If he did that more, would that help? What I mean is, many men want direct and immediate results -- helping fold laundry here = a bj there. I'm not saying this to be vulgar, I'm telling you how some of us think. Is it realistic..... well how much more likely are you to stick to a diet if you lose a pound in the first week?

So do you want to put your hands on your hips and believe he is selfish and irrational and if only he did "this and that" everything would be fine? Or do you want to solve the problem?

I remember a guy at a dance who could get any woman he wanted to dance with him -- laughing and having a blast all the while. I couldn't do it! I asked him how he did it and he said "you just have to DO it -- go up, be confident, believe in yourself". At first I said "no way is this gonna work" but I tried it A FEW TIMES (didn't just give up after the first failure). Before I knew it, it WAS WORKING, and I felt so dumb for overlooking the obvious.

Sometimes success and a positive attitude are their own fuels. The more confident you are in finding a solution you once thought impossible, the more apt that solution is to succeed.

HvyHitter

Yeah I also read this thread and thought.. Hey this is my wife..

If only mine would post in a forum for help.. Mine.. wont do anything... well.. hey kudos to you for trying to identify the problem..

do a google search online for the sex starved marriage..

read the first few paragraphs online.. does it describe your marriage to a T.. It does mine..

I love my wife immensely.. but.. being priority zero in her life.. and having tried everything I can.. I am about to give up myself.. I dont think you can fix a marriage if two people arent invested in fixing it.

fredfoxw28

Hi

I guess I should update this post. We have been doing very good lately. Ever since I re-read this book 20 steps to a better marriage. The first time I read it, I could only see what my husband was doing wrong. However, this time around I saw the things I was doing wrong. Making time for everyone else except my husband. I stop looking at his actions as a way of getting some and looking at it as a way of this is how to make your marriage stick like glue. It was pretty humbling experience. Since I have changed he has changed too, because of my action, his re-action to me as changed. He is more understanding and we talk about sex in a more relaxed setting. Prayer has helped alot as well, I asked for patience and understanding.

carmaenforcer

it's nice to read a happy ending every now and then. It gives me hope.
My Wife and I have a very similar situation with the little baby and all, only I have waited months for sex sometime and my wife is a jerk to me. I have been on the edge of becoming a cheater and fixing the sexual issue that way, I only hope that my Wife sees the light like you did before it's too late.

Chopblock

I'll add that it is SO rare to see the situation turn around like this!!! I have hung out on boards like these for ages and I always create a "success stories" thread regarding turning around a lack of sex, and it stays very empty.

Wow to actually hear that you went from viewing everything he did as "wanting some" and only seeing his faults to actually acknowledging the things YOU did wrong and working together... WOW!!!!!

Congratulations.

juls

Yes we do exsist.......LOL....and it is posible to have a turn around....I'm am glad to hear more of them too..

Dancing Nancie

I got that book as well, and it does hit the nail on the head. I got it in December last year and have gone to great lengths to get my wife to at least read some of it. I am still hopefull she will get to it sometime, as it does put a very common problem into light. But your statement is very true about both parties investing equally into fixing the problem.

cone

Who is the author? I cannot find a book titled that way on amazon.

Dancing Nancie

The author is Michele Weiner-Davis.

Lonelygirl

I do know how you feel that the way my husband is to. But other day i let it all out how i felt. I don't think it did any good. He still not showing any love.

TheLuckiest08

Honestly, why not just have sex with him?? Is it such a bad thing that your husband wants to have sex with you? You've been with him almost 8 years and he's still very attracted to you, apparently. Be flattered!