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Are you having sex?

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Sexless Marriage

11K views 40 replies 31 participants last post by  ku1980rose 
#1 ·
I am a newbie here. After reading some posts, I realize that I am not alone in the "sexless" marriage department. I haven't done the deed in probably 2 months and I personally have 0% interest in it whatsoever. I'm sure that is due to my husband being an alcoholic, financial issues, etc. I am just curious to see what percentage of members here are in sexless marriages. If you are, is it you or your spouse that isn't interested or is it a mutual agreement?
 
#36 ·
This poll is interesting. . .one could derive that in the "average marriage" out there, that people are having sex rarely or never, that is. . .50-60% of marriages fall into this category.

However, something tells me that just isn't correct and that TAM has a disproportional share of miserable, sexless married people.

Which does make you think about the quality of advice (mine included).

Now. . .if this is a fair sampling of marriages in America, then I think we have a real problem out there.

The Catholic Church has opined that married couples aren't having sex enough out there and attributed a host of factors to the problem - obesity and high stress lifestyles.

I will try to do some research and see how this unscientific poll compares with the rest of the population at large (assuming most here are American).
 
#37 · (Edited)
Who is Having Sex and How Often? -- Marital Sex Statistics

As I thought. . .I think this survey applies to couples (whether married or not, I am not sure) and the average person has sex 127 times per year, so about 2x/week.

So, TAM people are way out of sync with the norm and normal.

Noted though, Americans are lower with sexual frequency than other cultures.

I wonder what "Da' Church" would opine a healthy frequency is for a marriage, on averages, taking into account ages/varying libido's/etc.

In other words, there are "norms" and there are "normals." What may be the "norm" may not be "normal." In other words, I find it unacceptable to just say, "Well, it's all relative and depends. . ." Thats like saying, "Well. . .what's a normal cholesterol? Well, it all depends on whether you eat Crisco and Ho-ho's or grilled chicken and vegetables. . .what's normal to you is normal."

It's a cop-out answer.

Baseline sexual normals need to be established for spiritual, mental and physical well-being and some level of accountability to the couple/person should be held.

Nothign set in stone, but just a guideline (like you should exercise 3-5X/week. . .you should boink [n] times per week.
 
#38 ·
http://static.oprah.com/download/pdfs/health/oz/oz_antiaging_checklist.pdf

It appears the Great Dr. Oz has addressed this, citing 2-3X/week of monogamous sex is optimal for physical and spiritual health.

With no other references to go by, and this making "intuitive sense" with me, I'd like to see the forum start to adopt some "normals" for health rather than just say, "Well, what's normal for you is not normal for me."

Yeah, a young rabbit couple - there normal may be 5-7X/week and senior couple may be 1x/week. . .just like blood pressure readings, but we need to start having references if the conversation is going to move anywhere.

IMHO as a "scientist-practicioner" of sorts.
 
#39 ·
Sex was one of the big issues that almost ended my marriage,she wanted it once every 4-6 weeks,me 3-4 or more times a week.I work a lot of overtime and make good money and help around the house and we never need a repairman,I'm pretty handy.and in good shape,being a steelworker does that to you.I overheard one of her girlfriends ask if she could date me if we split said she was tired of her overweight part-time lazy hubby.Now wife is all over me everyother day and she always gets off,just takes a little work getting her engine warmed up : )
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