I am in the process of putting my exit plan into place...
I have been planning my exit for a little over a year now. I almost had everything in place and was going to leave in March but I didn't have the guts to do it then. Now I believe I am ready to go through with it.
I took the following steps...
First - I started paying down our Credit Card bills because they are all in my name with him as an authorized signer... Not a Joint account holder.
Then I added him as a joint account holder to one of the cards. This was the only card that would allow me to add him as an account holder and then drop my name from the account. So on this Credit Card, I pay the minimum every month and pay significant amounts towards the others...
Second - I called our cell phone company and verified the process of taking his cell phone off of my account since it is in my name. The Customer Service Rep said that the only way I can take him off of my account w/o having to pay a fee is if he transfers his number to his own account. Luckily for me he runs a business off of that number so he will need it.
Third - I opened my own checking account and have started putting money into this account. Cash only that way it cannot be traced back to our joint accounts. So far I have about $900 in this account.
Fourth - I started sending more money to my savings account $400 a month. This account is in my name only and at a separate bank than our everyday bank. My H knows about this account so he will want to split anything in the account. The reason why I have upped the $$ going into this account is because I plan on sending all of it to the CC.
Fifth - I called our auto ins. company and asked about taking his name off and they said all you have to do is submit a letter asking them to take his name off of the policy and I would also need a copy of his new ins. policy.
Sixth - I took all of our 2008 bills and divided them... His stuff/ my stuff. I even made copies of the bank statements for him. (I know I am so nice)
Seventh - I did a lot of little odds and ends things that I know that I could not afford on my own. I Bought new work clothes, took my dog to get shots and his teeth cleaned ($200), Spent about $800 on getting my car fixed, Bought a new laptop, took a mini vacation w/ hubby (hoping to repair the marriage - didn't work but had fun), went to the Dr. and got all kinds of medical tests done to make sure I am healthy (about $450).
Is there anything I am missing? We do not have kids (thank goodness) so I did not have to plan for that.
Is there anything that you did that you could recommend to me? How did you plan your exit and how long did it take you to accomplish it? Did it work out how you planned? If not, what went wrong?
My H has no idea... I have managed to do this w/o getting caught. Right under his nose!!! I even had to get him to sign the paperwork adding him as a joint account holder on the CC.
I brought the paperwork to him and said Chase and Washington Mutual are merging... They need you to sign this paperwork because they cannot find the original paperwork... He read it, then he said "I think I'm being set up." I said why would you say that? Your already an account holder. They must have lost the paperwork when we added you 5 yrs. ago. And he said oh, OK.
I manage all the money so that is easy.
Last week I was trying to sell everything off... ;O)
I sold the Chase Lounge, Need to get rid of the GIGANTIC fish tank that is not being used and would really like to sell the Pool table.
So I told him I sold the Chase Lounge to your mom (who has always wanted it), The fish tank ($200) and the Pool Table ($1500) were posted on Craigslist, and the Pool table he says... There is no way in hell your selling it. I still put it on CL... He said why are you selling everything? I said because it is sitting in storage, taking up space.
And If we buy a condo, this stuff will never fit in there. So why not sell it, and beef up our savings? (He thinks were going to buy a condo)
So, with all this said I do not believe he knows of everything that is going on But he may have an idea...
We have friends that are getting married... They asked us for advice. We gave them advice and then something came up about divorce and my H said yeah she's been planning our divorce for 3 months... I think I got 9 months left.
If he only knew I have been planning it for a year and he has 2 months left - Too Funny!
Sounds like you've got it all figured out. Have you ever spoken to your husband about the problems in the marriage or were you too busy focusing on the exit plan? Because nothing I'm reading mentions anything about the actual marriage, just your excitement in being stealthy in getting ready to leave. I don't know, doesn't seem very fair to your husband, but then again I don't know the exact issue your marriage faces. just my .02
congratulations on your thoroughness; you've covered many of the important bases.
may i make two suggestions:
first it's good you have your own checking account but you also need to stash some cash away. not in a bank or anywhere else where it can be traced. and tell absolutely no one.
second look into the divorce laws in your state. many states do not allow a divorce attorney to represent one party if they have had a consultation with the other.
it's considered a conflict of interest.
if your state is one that recognises this conflict then make appointments with the top few divorce attorneys in your area.
that way when your hubby goes hunting for representation he'll have to settle for a less competent attorney.
Wow, I would not have thought of that one. Talk about stealth moves.
Julie - you have obviously given this a lot of thought re money/credit (after reading your other posts) for good reason. Are you prepared emotionally to walk out the door?
Wish you the best and hope your next close relationship is more equally matched.
Rhea - We've have $12k in CC debt. The CC I plan on making all his has a limit of $2200. So, If anything I'll get screwed minus $2200. I am not conning him at all... All the debt we have is in my name. House, Car, CC, Loans... I have the better credit, better job... Why should I get stuck with it all. He is the main reason why we are in debt!!!!
I just want to make sure I don't ruin my credit throughout the divorce. I am an accountant. Do you know what will/ could happen to me if my credit gets ruined and I try to find a new job? I won't get hired...
I am a fair person and plan on leaving this relationship 100% equal... I don't want to screw him out of anything. I just want to make sure My @$$ is covered. I am the one holding all the debt. He would basically walk away with a truck that's 2/3 paid off and a trailor full of tools. ME, I will have a house w/ $190k mortgage, $100k in student Loans, a car payment, and $12k in CC's.