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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-26-2009, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Whats going wrong?

I have been married almost one year now. My husband has been in and out of different jobs always being laid off for a number of reasons. So that means I have been paying all our bills and I mean all. He never listens to me it seems like he has no respect or appreciation for everything i do. I work all day and go to school at night. Also we have a puppy and he never takes care of her, you would think since he is not working he would be taking care of household chores but no. I have to do all the chores the laundry, dishes, every cleaning known to be known. I just feel so worn down, he always goes to his friends house and never answers if i call. I dont know what i did wrong, I always feel horrible and that I am a horrible wife. any advice?
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-26-2009, 06:25 PM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

It's NOT you, girl. It's him...he's an a$$hole!

If you can, get rid of him...no one needs this kind of BS. I know it will hurt...you married him because you loved him.

Obviously, I don't know why you married him in the first place...but it seems to have gone downhill after the "I do"s.

Change the locks...get a place of your own. Make him see the reality, the consequences, of his choices.

Do you both talk? Really communicate? Find out why he's now thinking differently.

If he thought you would be a nightly fu.k by marrying you...mention alimony. Child support (if appropriate). See how his mind changes then!

It ain't illegal until you're caught!
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-26-2009, 06:38 PM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

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Originally Posted by missunderstood828 View Post
I have been married almost one year now. My husband has been in and out of different jobs always being laid off for a number of reasons. So that means I have been paying all our bills and I mean all. He never listens to me it seems like he has no respect or appreciation for everything i do. I work all day and go to school at night. Also we have a puppy and he never takes care of her, you would think since he is not working he would be taking care of household chores but no. I have to do all the chores the laundry, dishes, every cleaning known to be known. I just feel so worn down, he always goes to his friends house and never answers if i call. I dont know what i did wrong, I always feel horrible and that I am a horrible wife. any advice?
My advice would be to divorce him. A woman wants a partner at the very least, not a man who is like a child.
I would stop doing everything and focus all my energy on getting out of the marriage. You are not compatible it seems.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-26-2009, 07:31 PM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

Have the layoffs been completely not his fault??

Could he be depressed? Being a provider is a big ego thing for most guys....if he's lacking in that area he may feel inadequate.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-27-2009, 09:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Whats going wrong?

I just dont think i am strong enough to make that decision. I really know its a good idea but i dont want to leave him hanging. Another site told me that i should only wash and clean for myself and wash my own clothes and see how he likes it. And not give him money for gas but i am affraid that will get more tension.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-27-2009, 01:35 PM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

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Originally Posted by missunderstood828 View Post
I just dont think i am strong enough to make that decision. I really know its a good idea but i dont want to leave him hanging. Another site told me that i should only wash and clean for myself and wash my own clothes and see how he likes it. And not give him money for gas but i am affraid that will get more tension.
Sweetheart: If you are strong enough to support his lazy rear end, you are strong enough to tell him "You have 30 days to get a job, I don't CARE if it is washing dishes at Denny's." AND you are strong enough to kick his tush out the door if he doesn't HAVE a job in 30 days. There are jobs, he just isn't hungry enough because he has you to feed his sorry butt.

Sorry, but if he doesn't change, you married yourself a LOSER.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-27-2009, 06:17 PM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

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Sweetheart: If you are strong enough to support his lazy rear end, you are strong enough to tell him "You have 30 days to get a job, I don't CARE if it is washing dishes at Denny's." AND you are strong enough to kick his tush out the door if he doesn't HAVE a job in 30 days. There are jobs, he just isn't hungry enough because he has you to feed his sorry butt.

Sorry, but if he doesn't change, you married yourself a LOSER.

"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-28-2009, 07:44 AM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

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Sweetheart: If you are strong enough to support his lazy rear end, you are strong enough to tell him "You have 30 days to get a job, I don't CARE if it is washing dishes at Denny's." AND you are strong enough to kick his tush out the door if he doesn't HAVE a job in 30 days. There are jobs, he just isn't hungry enough because he has you to feed his sorry butt.

Sorry, but if he doesn't change, you married yourself a LOSER.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-28-2009, 07:54 AM
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Re: Whats going wrong?

I agree with the other posters. I'll just go ahead and tell you--it 's not going to get better. Look at your life 10 years from now. Do you like what you see? He is LAZY!!!!!!!!!!! If he can't get a job, he should be doing the house work. Just curious; what's his reason for not answering the phone while at the friend's house?
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