Have him wash your car too, detail it, and do all the stuff like that for you....
that way you will really be in control and he gets nothing ( but sweaty)
make you dinner, take you to your favorite resturant at least 2x a week ( he pays).
Go to a chick flic with you every month....
"lets talk" 3x a week for an hour or two before dinner ( not bedtime as he could fall asleep)
SHOPPING, preferably walmart... weekly to help in obtaining groceries and supplies,
for dinner, veggies , yougurt and fruit ...............
have him make it for you and enjoy it with you
those are some dooooooooooozies
If possible, do this stuff on a NFL sunday or any day his TV sports are on
Talk about total control, you are likley to have orgasms !!!
No walmart here for me, but all those Brits out there will appreciate it if I use Marks and Spencers instead.
On a serious note though, I just want him to want to do those things for me, if you know what I mean. If he isn't prepared to try or put some effort in then we are doomed.
he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
No walmart here for me, but all those Brits out there will appreciate it if I use Marks and Spencers instead.
On a serious note though, I just want him to want to do those things for me, if you know what I mean. If he isn't prepared to try or put some effort in then we are doomed.
he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
ehhh hemm.
I was being serious.
and he better enjoy it and be attentive while "sharing" with you. That he gets nothing out of the deal will tell you how much he cares and wants to be married.
STOP SEX with him.... that is not the way to feel powerful and in control. Make him sleep on the couch
Am going to be assertive. Wont make him sleep[ on couch but do have 2 bedrooms he could use. Bit of a bloody cheek actually as he has the choice of 2 other double beds.
You are right, he needs do do selfless things. I do them all the time without thinking he doesnt. Hmmmm
omg, i'm having that sexually desire to sleep with him too. but now that he's out of the house and we not supposed to be talking - it makes it easier. but man!!!! i have needs too!!!!
i actually was the one who cut it off. wouldn't let him see me naked even. if his heart is not 100% with me and at home, why bother. i respect myself too much. but boy, it's hard!!! it is nice to know when he tells me how attracted he still is too me. it is a control thing for me for sure.
make you dinner, take you to your favorite resturant at least 2x a week ( he pays).
Go to a chick flic with you every month....
"lets talk" 3x a week for an hour or two before dinner ( not bedtime as he could fall asleep)
SHOPPING, preferably walmart... weekly to help in obtaining groceries and supplies,
for dinner, veggies , yougurt and fruit ...............
have him make it for you and enjoy it with you
those are some dooooooooooozies
If possible, do this stuff on a NFL sunday or any day his TV sports are on
Talk about total control, you are likley to have orgasms !!!
Preso, did you by any chance send that list to my wife?
The fruit,yoghurt and veggies thing is a great idea. Thats usually my kind of dinner anyway as I am veggie, but H is big meat eater. He would hate it!!!
Am hoping for a meal out tomorrow so watch this space. Am trying to think of something else for the weekend. After all no kids at home
he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
Unselfish in the bedroom, huh?
HE'S A GUY!!!! You read all over here about "Love Languages". Physical touches, etc. is a LOT OF GUYS love language (including mine). My guess is that he is like a lot of guys and doesn't understand the differences. He feels loved by the physical things, and since he doesn't know the difference (remember, he's a guy), he's doing the natural thing, trying to show you love in the method that he himself feels loved? So he's really doing what he can in the bedroom for you. Just a guess, I could be wrong, but it makes sense.
Were as you are more likely the type that likes to have things done for you or given to you. You just need to let him know that there is a difference here. That while you like sex, that's not what you need to feel loved (at least not just that).
Things have been horrible but we are still having sex, great sex too. My mind is all over the place. This is not just a one off either it is often, more than before he told me. Why are we doing this:scratchhead
Good for you - YOu are Letting him have his CAKE and EAT it too. It can only get better. Wake up , woman, he is using you to get off and leave cream in your stuff. YOu are doing it cause you are WEAK. Stop it and let him proceed with the seperation papers and just tell him to mail them to you when you need to sign (p.s. get a lawyer if you have kids and property between you two)
Re: Should I still be sleeping with him 
