Should I still be sleeping with him - Page 4
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »The Ladies' Lounge » Should I still be sleeping with him

The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-16-2009, 09:31 AM   #46 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,295
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Have him wash your car too, detail it, and do all the stuff like that for you....
that way you will really be in control and he gets nothing ( but sweaty)
preso is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-16-2009, 09:39 AM   #47 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 232
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

preso am mentally drawing up a list right now
mumof2 is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 09:58 AM   #48 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,295
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

If you want some ideas...........

make you dinner, take you to your favorite resturant at least 2x a week ( he pays).
Go to a chick flic with you every month....
"lets talk" 3x a week for an hour or two before dinner ( not bedtime as he could fall asleep)

SHOPPING, preferably walmart... weekly to help in obtaining groceries and supplies,

for dinner, veggies , yougurt and fruit ...............
have him make it for you and enjoy it with you

those are some dooooooooooozies
If possible, do this stuff on a NFL sunday or any day his TV sports are on
Talk about total control, you are likley to have orgasms !!!
preso is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 10:05 AM   #49 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 232
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

No walmart here for me, but all those Brits out there will appreciate it if I use Marks and Spencers instead.

On a serious note though, I just want him to want to do those things for me, if you know what I mean. If he isn't prepared to try or put some effort in then we are doomed.

he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
mumof2 is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 10:21 AM   #50 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,295
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Quote:
Originally Posted by mumof2 View Post
No walmart here for me, but all those Brits out there will appreciate it if I use Marks and Spencers instead.

On a serious note though, I just want him to want to do those things for me, if you know what I mean. If he isn't prepared to try or put some effort in then we are doomed.

he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
ehhh hemm.
I was being serious.
and he better enjoy it and be attentive while "sharing" with you. That he gets nothing out of the deal will tell you how much he cares and wants to be married.
STOP SEX with him.... that is not the way to feel powerful and in control. Make him sleep on the couch
preso is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 10:29 AM   #51 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 232
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Am going to be assertive. Wont make him sleep[ on couch but do have 2 bedrooms he could use. Bit of a bloody cheek actually as he has the choice of 2 other double beds.

You are right, he needs do do selfless things. I do them all the time without thinking he doesnt. Hmmmm
mumof2 is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 12:48 PM   #52 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: west coast
Posts: 48
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

omg, i'm having that sexually desire to sleep with him too. but now that he's out of the house and we not supposed to be talking - it makes it easier. but man!!!! i have needs too!!!!

i actually was the one who cut it off. wouldn't let him see me naked even. if his heart is not 100% with me and at home, why bother. i respect myself too much. but boy, it's hard!!! it is nice to know when he tells me how attracted he still is too me. it is a control thing for me for sure.
ls878 is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 11:41 PM   #53 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 242
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Quote:
Originally Posted by preso View Post
If you want some ideas...........

make you dinner, take you to your favorite resturant at least 2x a week ( he pays).
Go to a chick flic with you every month....
"lets talk" 3x a week for an hour or two before dinner ( not bedtime as he could fall asleep)

SHOPPING, preferably walmart... weekly to help in obtaining groceries and supplies,

for dinner, veggies , yougurt and fruit ...............
have him make it for you and enjoy it with you

those are some dooooooooooozies
If possible, do this stuff on a NFL sunday or any day his TV sports are on
Talk about total control, you are likley to have orgasms !!!
Preso, did you by any chance send that list to my wife?


John
NothingMan is offline  
Old 07-16-2009, 11:48 PM   #54 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,205
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Sandy55 is offline  
Old 07-17-2009, 08:13 AM   #55 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,295
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Quote:
Originally Posted by NothingMan View Post
Preso, did you by any chance send that list to my wife?


John
No...
but I asked my husband what would be the most terrible things I could do... to havre him prove his love and that is what he told me...

shopping at walmart, fruit, yougurt, veggies for dinner and to "talk" for hours each week.
lol
preso is offline  
Old 07-17-2009, 08:17 AM   #56 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 232
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Preso

The fruit,yoghurt and veggies thing is a great idea. Thats usually my kind of dinner anyway as I am veggie, but H is big meat eater. He would hate it!!!

Am hoping for a meal out tomorrow so watch this space. Am trying to think of something else for the weekend. After all no kids at home
mumof2 is offline  
Old 07-17-2009, 09:27 AM   #57 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,295
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

If your going out to eat... do a websearch in your area and look for a vegan place................Try as vegetarian resturant !!!!

( no meat)

something YOU would really enjoy ! I know I would !!!

Last edited by preso; 07-17-2009 at 09:33 AM.
preso is offline  
Old 07-17-2009, 09:45 AM   #58 (permalink)
GPR
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 473
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Quote:
Originally Posted by mumof2 View Post

he has been better, more attentive but I still feel he is holding back ,except in the bedroom . Really I would more understand if he was being completely selfish in the bedroom but he is being the complete opposite. Boy am I confused.
Unselfish in the bedroom, huh?

HE'S A GUY!!!! You read all over here about "Love Languages". Physical touches, etc. is a LOT OF GUYS love language (including mine). My guess is that he is like a lot of guys and doesn't understand the differences. He feels loved by the physical things, and since he doesn't know the difference (remember, he's a guy), he's doing the natural thing, trying to show you love in the method that he himself feels loved? So he's really doing what he can in the bedroom for you. Just a guess, I could be wrong, but it makes sense.

Were as you are more likely the type that likes to have things done for you or given to you. You just need to let him know that there is a difference here. That while you like sex, that's not what you need to feel loved (at least not just that).
GPR is offline  
Old 07-17-2009, 09:48 AM   #59 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 61
Default Re: Should I still be sleeping with him

Things have been horrible but we are still having sex, great sex too. My mind is all over the place. This is not just a one off either it is often, more than before he told me. Why are we doing this:scratchhead

Good for you - YOu are Letting him have his CAKE and EAT it too. It can only get better. Wake up , woman, he is using you to get off and leave cream in your stuff. YOu are doing it cause you are WEAK. Stop it and let him proceed with the seperation papers and just tell him to mail them to you when you need to sign (p.s. get a lawyer if you have kids and property between you two)
srena200 is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sleeping Dadwithtwolittlegirls Going Through Divorce or Separation 12 07-29-2012 08:49 PM
How do we get through the not sleeping? blueskies30 Coping with Infidelity 13 07-14-2012 11:39 PM
Is she sleeping around? michaell1 Coping with Infidelity 9 05-05-2012 12:52 PM
H's sleeping in getting later and later... walkingwounded General Relationship Discussion 26 05-01-2012 11:38 AM
Sleeping on the job! whatdoido The Family & Parenting Forums 1 02-24-2010 11:27 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:28 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage