Need advice dealing with bi-sexual husband
My husband and I married after only knowing each other a short while. After we married, he confessed he was a cross-dresser and considered himself bi-sexual. For a while I tried to accept this, even encourage the dressing, but it increasingly bothered me. He seems to have an exceptional need for sex of any and all kinds (yes, even more than most men, I think).
For about the last 8-9 years, I have caught him trying to connect with other partners for fun and games.There have been at least 5-6 specific instances. Each time we go through an "I'm sorry -- it won't happen again" scenario -- but then it does, almost always when I am out of town. I keep accepting the apologies and hope it will really be the last time.
A few months ago I found that he was trying to set up a sexual evening with a woman while I was going to be gone. I let him have it and said I 'd had enough, didn't want to deal with it anymore, too stressful, etc. I told him I wanted some space between us for a while and moved upstairs. After a month, he made a written pledge of how he would stop looking for outside partners, stop drinking (this is part of the problem, I think), try to curtail the cross-dressing stuff. I told him if there was even one more time, that I would divorce him. I thought it had made a pretty significant impression on him.
Three months later, and I have discovered he is working on a "gang-bang" for this weekend, while I will be gone.
In every other respect, he is a great guy. We have a good marriage -- if you can exclude the cheating. I do love him, but I hate having to deal with this.
Divorce is such a big step, I am hesitant to pull the plug, yet I am stressed out and miserable wondering what he is up to. I know the bi- and cross-dressing are part of his nature and don't expect him to be able to change this, and I haven't been successful at changing my attitude towards it.
Is there ANYONE else out there who might have had a similar experience??