I think a good idea would be to take a break from the children. It must be exhausting! Sometimes guys really have no clue what it's like to care for children all day by yourself. I think if you asked him for a couple of weekends (or whenever he's home) to look after the kids for a few hours while you engage in a different type of activity (other than errands, but like a bookclub, volunteering, place of worship activities, classes, etc.) he will understand where you are coming from.
My husband is VERY affectionate. I have learned that by rejecting his advances, I am actually insulting him. I'm not going to even try to figure out the male ego-- but I do get that he feels rejected and then resentful. He really likes to touch me because apparently, he really likes my skin
And not to brag or anything, but my boobs and butt are kinda on the larger size so he likes those too.
Obviously I musta been made for him or else he wouldn't like touching me so much.
What I had to do was gently-- very gently and nicely-- as him to respect some
physical boundaries. For instance, after I get home from school or work, to let me be for about an hour to just relax and refresh myself from being out and about and busy. Then I try to take initiative by doing something less sexual, such as hugging him from his back and holding his hands or running my hands through his hair. After you start to acclimate yourself, you can become more comfortable with his touching.
It's going to have to be give and take. If you're going to ask him to help with some slack in exchange for less fondles, then when he does
initiate sex, I think it would be a good idea to try to get in the mood and try to enjoy it. Also, I think getting some sort of resource that teaches about stressors' effects on sexuality would be a good way for you two to understand how to deal with this situation. According to Dr. Berman, it can take 24 hours for a woman's body (and mind) to become receptive to sexual arousal, whereas it can take minutes for a man to
Imagine that. And sometimes women's bodies are aroused but our minds don't even realize it.