What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?
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Old 07-24-2009, 10:51 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

I could use some new ideas. Things have been rough for her lately at work, and I suppose I haven't been the greatest (besides providing a stable income and good lifestyle, cooking, helping clean, buying her stuff, handling admin tasks...).

So women: what do your men do that make you feel loved and appreciated. If there is something you want him to do that he hasn't done, what is it.

I am looking for specific gestures, that I can actually do but maybe haven't thought of (buy her flowers, write a poem). I want something I can do/say when I get home, or over the weekend.

"Concepts" (pay attention to her mood, do something without being asked, be positive) are nice, but not necessarily as helpful because lets face it, I'm either already doing some of them, or missing some completely and if I knew them, I wouldn't need the gestures in the first place.
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Old 07-24-2009, 11:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

I actually love my hubbie just coming home and hugging me and asking hows your day been babe ... but then staying and listening to my anwser
Saying thanks after ive cooked , etting me stay in bed for a while on sundays And just that look , smile gesture to let me know he loves me
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Old 07-24-2009, 12:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

For me, top of the list of things that make me feel loved
FROM MY HUSBAND are comfort and security. Little things are also nice like helping with the household work but without comfort and security, would not do much for me to feel loved.
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Old 07-27-2009, 09:45 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Send me to a spa for a deluxe treatment. Nothing says "I love you" to me like being given an opportunity to spend a day being pampered and having NO DEMANDS made on me. Let me come home to a clean, quiet house, and NO DEMANDS. Let me fall asleep without asking for sex (it's ok if I initiate it). Let me be totally selfish for one whole day--wow. Worth every penny spent.

BUT--if you do it, go whole hog. This is not a time to be cheap or to pinch pennies. I'd know. Find the best full-day spa you can afford and pay for the whole package. That's much better than sending her to a place she sees a bunch of stuff she cannot do because her package didn't include those services. The decisions themselves about what to pick (if she gets 3 of 5 available services, for example) are a type of demand.

I'd come home and say, "You had me at 'spa.' "
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Old 07-28-2009, 06:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Personally with all the things you already say you do like, cleaning, cooking and buying things and taking care of admin things, if this woman doesnt already know she is loved then there is something wrong, I only wish my husband would do some of those things, he doesnt even mow the yard. But if you really need something more to show how you feel, I would suggest a trail of rose petals to a lovely scented hot bath when she comes home and a lovely candlelit dinner waiting for her when she comes out, that would be a dream for any woman
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Respect, respect, respect.....enough said.
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

In my situation, all the housecleaning, cooking, outside work etc. wouldn't work as well as simply TALKING to me on a regular basis and asking me once in a while how I was doing.

He told me recently that he doesn't want to talk to me about 'issues' since it gets me upset... Well of course it gets me upset but I WANT HIM TO TALK TO ME regardless of whether I get upset...that's the way we deal with issues...talk about them...argue about them...deal with them....and sort things out.
Ignoring them and hoping they will go away does NOT work. When will he learn?
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Old 07-29-2009, 08:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

My wife loves it when I show up at her office to take her to lunch out of the blue and i am in the front part of the office and she comes out. I say,Hay beautiful got time for lunch.
Her office girlfriends go nuts..They think I'm a hunk!!!!

She likes when i cuddle at night in bed watching the TV.. She feels so safe and content she floats off to dream land.


(all these great things but can't get her to tell the truth)
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Old 08-14-2009, 02:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

---Send me to a spa for a deluxe treatment. Nothing says "I love you" to me like being given an opportunity to spend a day being pampered and having NO DEMANDS made on me.---

Money, money, money.... If I had the money to do things like that on a regular basis, we wouldn't have these problems.
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Old 08-14-2009, 04:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Things that work for me:

* Rub her back when you watch tv or as you fall asleep.
* Hold her hand in public.
* Texts throughout the day (everything from sweet "I love you"s to dirty pictures).
* A random kiss on the back of her neck as you walk by her.
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Old 08-14-2009, 08:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

- Calling in the middle of the day to say "Hi" or "I love you"
- Holding my hand when we're shopping or just out
- Filling up my car with gas in the winter
- Pop out to the store without me knowing to pick up something I just said I wanted (my husband went out one time to pick up a slurpee for me after I said I wanted one...it was a really nice surprise when we gave it to me and I had no idea he'd even left!)
- Teaching our son to say "thank you" after dinner
- Teaching our son that dads also make dinner
- FOOT RUB
- BBQing dinner for my parents
- Holding the car door for me once in a while
- Meeting me at the door after I had been grocery shopping to help me carry in the bags
- Watching my TV shows with me instead of leaving the room and doing something else
- Printed some special photos of our family for me
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Old 08-17-2009, 02:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Wow...really how are you not showing things! You seem like you already go above and beyond...what is her actual issue? I can say that attention, romance- like writing to her, a homemade dinner , a slow dance in the lvrm. showing affection to her and out in public and let her know how great she is , and how how sexy she is and a long night of hot sex.If that does not make her melt..as if what you already are doing is not enough lol then i pray for you.
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Old 08-17-2009, 03:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

My H is great in this area. Hasn't always been, but he appreciates what he has now that he almost p***ed it all away. I love it when we are watching TV and he randomly runs his fingers thru my hair..so realxing. Little things like that, they make me smile. Random texts when we are apart, letting me know he misses me, or thinks I am awesome...it all melts my heart.
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Old 08-17-2009, 04:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

Where was this thread 9 years ago when I got married... Maybe I should have known this, probably did deep inside, but really, this all makes me feel pretty stupid to be in the situation I am now. I felt all the things that made me love her, I guess I just never showed it to her in the way you are all saying. I am an engineer in automotive, a pretty male dominated, emotionless job, so this sort of stuff is kinds foreign to me.

Another one of those slap in the face, "you idiot", moments....

Too late now, I guess, but I am taking notes for next time... Thanks
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Old 08-17-2009, 04:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: What makes you feel loved and appreciated as a woman and partner?

I agree with respect... Tell her that you appreciate the things she does do (even if you seem to be carrying the load... as it sounds in your post).

Are you doing all those things bc she is depressed? Or are you just doing them bc that is how you and she decided to divvy up the tasks?

A husband of a friend of mine routinely takes all their kids away for a night or a weekend to give her time alone... with no one making demands of her. What a hubby! We love our kids, but it is nice to not hear any one of a multitude of demands coming our way!
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