Can a woman truly have a friends with benefits situation without being attached?

psxpsx · 08-02-2009, 07:32 PM

Here is my situation. I recently have developed a "friends with benefits" situation with a woman i have been seeing. I was actually not the one who suggested this..she was. We spark really well Physically emotionally and our personalities click. The reason she suggested this is i think due to the former things mentioned and she said she is not quite ready for a serious relationship yet but we do enjoy each others company so. So i agreed to try this under the pre tense we shall see how it goes. Now the reason i write about this is for a ""fwb" situation there are some things she does/we do that seem a bit above the normal "fwb" agreement? "FWB" is usually supposed to be more or less just about the sex no? (iv'e never been in this situation).

However we...
Cuddle for hours on end watching tv and kissing sometimes without ever reaching the bedroom

Text and call each other constantly.

Have shared many romantic dinners together

Is that really FWB status? Maybe it's just me but it seems like she might want something more "serious" then shes willing to admit to in fear of being hurt from her last relationship. Which would be fine by me as really i have come to like her a lot. But i am just wondering if i am over thinking this? I have always heard most women can not do "Fwb" without becoming attached or is this a common misconception? Is she really hinting at something more here and just not ready to admit it to herself? Or am i reading into things too much?

preso · 08-02-2009, 07:50 PM

If she has no attraction for you but a physical one, yes she can.
I don't know how some women do that but some do.... others
just say they are ok with it to get into a mans life I think.

Be careful

1nurse · 08-02-2009, 08:15 PM

Sorry pal, you're in a RELATIONSHIP! Dinners, cuddling, texting? Never had a FWB situation. Casual sex even with someone I'm friendly with just doesn't do it for me however from what I understand it's just straight hookups and sex. Nothing emotional which is what you've gotten yourself into. Women are generally programmed to crave the emotional part of hooking up which makes it very hard for us to have a straight sex situation. Men from what I hear from my guy friends can just mainly sleep around and see women as ahem... sperm receptacles. Sorry to blunt but that's the way they see FWB. You've gotten yourself in deeper than just a hookup situation. Might be tricky getting yourself out if this one, unless you want a relationship? Good Luck.

psxpsx · 08-02-2009, 08:24 PM

No...That's the thing i really could picture a relationship here. I'm just not sure she would be ready for one as it was her up front who said i'm not ready for a serious relationship yet, not me.

pilot3100 · 08-02-2009, 08:46 PM

sounds to me that you have a GF, not a FWB.

enjoy it and see where it goes.

Blanca · 08-02-2009, 09:27 PM

sounds like more then FWB, to me. ive had a couple of FWB relationships and i would never cuddle or have romantic dinners with them. that would have been weird.

GAsoccerman · 08-03-2009, 02:45 PM

I had a girlfriend I met during teh summer during our first year in college, she went to school in PA I went to school in NJ, but both lived in NJ for teh summer.

We met at work, (retail) agreed since in college just a summer "fling" nothing more.

Dated 7 years married 12 now....

I still ask her when will this summer fling end? She is not sure it will...lol

Sometimes Being "loose" with teh relationship is the BEST way to be, no pressure no stress, just enjoy each other and see where it goes.

hitched4ever · 08-03-2009, 03:11 PM

Females + FWB = not gonna happen

IMHO, although these relationships start off great they nearly always lead to emotions for the woman (and occasionally for the man) and end when the opposing party doesnt wish to go further. Due to these facts they are usually very temporary in nature.

It sounds to me as though your relationship is already beyond
the FWB state anyway.

raising5boyz · 08-04-2009, 12:43 AM

lets see here...I did the FWB thing....key word being FRIENDS with benefits. Meaning there is at least a friendship, which you two surely have. My "friend" and I talked on a regular basis, texted, emailed, and cuddled. I think what brings it past the FWB to a relationship is the feelings attached.

Maybe you should just ask her...kind of in a "just checking our status"tyoe way.....what she is thinking and feeling and if it is working out how she had hoped.

If there is a relationship or if there is ever going to be a relationship, good communication is VERY important.

And just for the record, my FWB was very short lived (ended because my h suddenly came back into the picture...LONG story) and it is a good thing because I know I would of developed feelings very quickly for him.