Well she admitted it, now what?
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Well she admitted it, now what?

I have been going through hell knowing my wife possibly cheated on me. She denied all. I finally confronted her with the evidence after a month of hell. See my other threads. She buckled under overwhelming evidence of internet affair. Also a real possibility of something physical. She was at a school for a month were she met him.
I have all his info and his wife's address ect.

I feel as though a brick house is lifted off me. I'm in control of my emotions and I want to work this out. He is married I thought about contacting his wife. I don't think I should I want to reconcile this I think it was online only. What's next I love her, I think I can forgive her.................

Last edited by 01coltcolt; 04-19-2013 at 12:22 PM.
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

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Originally Posted by 01coltcolt View Post
I have been going through hell knowing my wife possibly cheated on me. She denied all. I finally confronted her with the evidence after a month of hell. See my other threads. She buckled under overwhelming evidence of internet affair.

I feel as though a brick house is lifted off me. I'm in control of my emotions and I want to work this out. He is married I thought about contacting his wife. I don't think I should I want to reconcile this I think it was online only. What's next I love her, I think I can forgive her.................
You absolutely need to contact his wife, both to end the affair , and to stop it continuing underground.

He will be too busy safe his own butt to be continuing to chase your wife.
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

I don't want a wife who refrains from an affair only because her "guy" happens to be in the dog house. If she wants to be somewhere else, that's where I want her, too. I wouldn't rat the guy out to his old lady. Unless he was one of my close friends, I probably wouldn't even assault him. This man hasn't taken anything the OP's wife hasn't offered freely. Get her to make a decision...you or other men. If her decision is "you", it comes with 100% complete transparency and if she gets caught even thinking about another guy, her butt hits the concrete. If her decision is "you", it comes with an agreement to attend marriage counseling. It's a little early to talk about forgiveness. The OP had to drag her, kicking and screaming, to tell the truth. Right now, I see zero evidence that she's even interested in staying married. Whether two people are screwing each other in their minds over the internet or in person in your bed, what's the real difference? Isn't the betrayal the same? While they were clicking away at the keyboard to each other, if your wife had magically popped into the other guy's presence, would she have fought him off? I'm guessing not. In that case, the only thing keeping your wife from full blown adultary was "opportunity". She would have been willing, he would have been willing. The bed doesn't care who's on it.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

I get it. Ive all ready laid down the law. about transparency. I want her to call him on speaker phone and as husband and wife let him know its us not him that's what I am asking for her to call him, and let her and I tell him your not wanted here. She refuses.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

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Originally Posted by 01coltcolt View Post
I get it. Ive all ready laid down the law. about transparency. I want her to call him on speaker phone and as husband and wife let him know its us not him that's what I am asking for her to call him, and let her and I tell him your not wanted here. She refuses.
Well I guess it's time to kick her out and think about it.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

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Originally Posted by 01coltcolt View Post
She refuses.
What the??
This made me mad when I read it... I'd tell her to eff off then.

I'm so sorry it has come this Mr Colt.

Time to play hard ball perhaps. If she thinks he is so great pack her bag...send her too him!

I know you love her (or the memory of the old her...before this) but your relationship can not survive when there is a 3rd person in it.

Come on...your a good man....you know you deserve better than this.
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 01coltcolt View Post
I get it. Ive all ready laid down the law. about transparency. I want her to call him on speaker phone and as husband and wife let him know its us not him that's what I am asking for her to call him, and let her and I tell him your not wanted here. She refuses.
I did that, and unfortunately....it didn't work. Affair continued. Nothing will change until she see what she had lost.
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Old 04-19-2013, 01:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

She may need a visual aid....like her packed bags in a room at Motel 6 or an empty joint banking account. Sounds like she intends to cake eat a while longer.
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Old 04-19-2013, 02:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

You need to expose to the OMW. Affaires thrive in the dark. If his wife knows, reality will hit him and chances are he will dump your wife like a ton of bricks.
Exposure works!
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:15 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

She refuses?

Why the HELL do you still want to be with her?

Do you have children with her?

Self-esteem issues?

Love her? What do you love about her?
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:33 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

Refuses?

Oh hel1 no!

Time to show her the door. Cancel all joint credit cards or have her name removed. Take half the money in any joint accounts acounts and move it to accounts with only your name on it. If your pay check goes to a joint account change that too

Next cancel her cell phone if the account is in your name

She wants to know what it's like to be single, show her

Also expose the other man to his wife now
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:12 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

The cell is not in my name.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

Her refusal is showing you where her mind is at and indirectly showing you how you should be feeling right now.Obviously she isn't remorseful and feels she has to protect or shield her AP from contact with you.She isn't thinking about your feelings,she's still thinking of the AP's feelings.
If you plan on continuing to try despite her obvious desire to cake eat,be prepared to tell the AP's wife or prepare for the affair to go physical.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:39 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

Who pays the cell phone bill?
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well she admitted it, now what?

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Originally Posted by 01coltcolt View Post
She refuses.
Unacceptable. Pack her bags. Wish her good luck. Your way or the highway.
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