Thanks for all your responses ladies, I so appreciate your input!
Carilyn-(love your name btw)
My kids are 20,16,14,12,7 and 2 1/2 years old. Diverse ages there eh? LOL
It's funny because my oldest daughter is a very liberated young lady and she is so focused on her University Degree and her future career, that the furthest thing from her mind is finding a man! hee hee When I was her age , dh and I had been dating almost 5 years & all I could think about was becoming his wife and having a baby!!
That's the furthest thing from her mind!! Thank goodness! LOL
As I mentioned in the above post, I didn't always feel this way.
When we were 1st married I gave up my job to be a sahm with our 1st baby , thikning that down the road I would return to the work force one day!!
Well that one day never came! As we had 5 more babies after that (which I whole hearedly don't regret for a moment). So I've been complelety financially dependent on him for all these years. And he's not mean with the finances or anything but sometimes when I make certain purchases he might say little sarcastic things.
I don't like the feeling of being 100% financially dependent on my dh and I so encourage my daughters to strive for a carreer and be financiallly independent.
There are days I feel I still Love him but there are also days I don't feel that way
His communcation skills were never the best even when we dated and were 1st married but they were better than they are now. I cannot confide in him at all about anything, I just feel there's no emotional support there.
I suffered a miscarriage about 10 years ago and it ws the most devavstating thing for me (other than my Mom passing away)
I went through a really tough time and had a hard time dealing with the loss and he couldn't understand why I was such a wreck. His response was , it's natures way of taking care of something that may not have been right!
I'm like what the he**?
Anyway, I mourned the loss of my lost baby alone and then only a year later I lost my Mom and knowing I couldn't rely on his support, I went through this grief alone as well.
4myboys- I really don' t know if he's happy with the way things are! I know he deosn't like that I don't cater to him the way I did in the beginning and that I don't cook,clean,bake , etc. up to his standards!
In his defense he loves his kids dearly, as do I and everything I do is for my kids. My kids come 1st and foremost. He is a very good provider and my kids don't go without,matter of fact they probably get too much. He' s ahands on Dad alot of the time but then there are times I feel I am parenting alone.
I think he wants a marriage like his parents,who've been married 61 years. But the difference is , his Mom continued to cater to his Dad all through their marriage and was the obedient wife who did as she was expected and never spoke her own opinion or did her own thing.
The woman dedicated her entire life to pleasing her husband and never did anything for herself, even her husband came ahead of her kids.
You see I cannot do that.My Mom was an independent lady, who was a teacher and supported the family all by herself after my Dad passed at he age of 43. She was a super strong lady (my hero) and that is who I try to model myself after.
She didn't like the idea that I gave up my career to be a full time Mom and wife, but she never hassled me about it however! She used to say that I should really think it over, because years down the road I might regret the decsion.
Why are Moms always right? LOL
Anyway, I don't dislike my husband enough to consider divorce but maybe a seperation may help things, I don't know. I just know that my life is my kids and without them I don't know what I'd do
Thanks again for all your advice and questions!