My wife and I have been married for 13 yrs now, we have 2 children and have the kind of relationship most people wish they had. A couple yrs ago during sex, my wife would express how she would be interested in being with another woman, to be honest, this was a complete turn on and I was cool with, but I know she was just bi-curious and would probably never happen. About 5 months ago, friends of ours who live in a different city became closer as friends to us. They have 2 kids as well and are just like us, Her best friend now admitteed to my wife that she was bi-sexual which opened up a huge door. Since then they have been together a couple of times and they said it has been amazing, they stress they would never jeopardize their marriage with us men and say that it is a more sensual than sexual relationship. My buddy is totally fine with it because he's used to her bi lifestyle, but I'm still very new to this. My wife says she loves even more and action in the bedroom has been amazing! I just can't seem to get over a bit of jealousy I have knowing she is in someone else's arms and not mine. I hope this feeling goes away in time because this is the happiest my wife has ever been and I don't want to ruin that for her. She says this other relationchip completes her as a woman and I do believe her. Anyone have any thoughts?
So she is sleeping with another woman? Im sorry but how is that not cheating? Who cares if it makes her happy, its wrong. When you get married its just you and her, not anyone else. Or atleast thats what i thought marriage was about. Would it upset you if she was with another man? Gosh. This doesnt sound healthy at all. You might be ok with it now, but you will grow more and more jealous and in the end start resenting her for doing it. It will cause huge fights and unhappiness. You guys have kids? wonder what they would think if they knew what was going on. Not a healthy situation at all.
I to have been in your situation when i was married. Yes it was a turn on to see my now x-wife with another woman and yes i was jealous. The my jealous feeling did subside when i was involved but i will say from what i went threw it didn't work out so i wish you luck. The best thing to do is sit down and talk to her and let her know how you feel. Would i ever do any thing like that again nope not a chance.
I don't agree that she is cheating at all, cheating is when it happens behind the other person's back but, this is something we both agred to, I will never be physically invloved in the action because her friends husband is a good friend of mine, this is purely them. My wife has been totally open and up front about everything and has never hidden anything from me. They both they would never do anything to jeopardize our marriages, it's just something that she feels she needs to do to make her perfect life "complete" . She has never had a close friend she ever confide in about anything and now she does, it's like a friend with benefits as I like to say and I would never want to take that away from her! I love her to death and would do anything for her and same goes fer her. Most of the time when they are together, they just snuggle and kiss and enjoy eachother's company, it's not always sexual. She has never been a very affectionate person because of her upbringging where I am very affectionate, but now she is very affectionate. To be honest I wrote down all the pros and cons and the pros in our situation totally out wiegh the cons, Ijust hope my hint of jealousy goes away as I get more used to it.
Combine sex with emotional intimacy and I don't know how this couldn't negatively impact your marriage. There's only so much of the stuff to go around. She's going to share things with the other woman that she won't share with you. How you can believe "no secrets" is beyond me. Sure, no sexual secrets, but there are a lot of things to hide from someone and in this case, when she stops feeling the love for you because she's given it to someone else, what do you think you'll do -- will you be surprised?
Edit : I am going to change my mind on this -- there will eventually be sexual secrets. There will come a time when they don't want to share everything with you guys. It will be about them and not you. So no secrets is impossible in this situation.