Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: The ever complaining husband..help
Maybe it is time to cut back--make due with less money until the kids are both in school. Yeah, it means giving up stuff, but if you are getting into the "who is more tired" debate, you need to know it is a lose/lose proposition. You are both tired, b/c you have two kids and a household and two jobs. If you could stay home, or work part-time, it might give you the rest you need, and perhaps he would agree to quit complaining about being tired. Be sure to have him see a doc to rule out physical causes, and find out if he is sleep-deprived from sleep apnea or something; is he actually sleepy or just "tired?" Being sleepy a lot can mean sleep apnea and that can lead to major health problems. If it is not that, tell him he needs to keep his complaints to himself b/c you are TOO TIRED to listen or care! And then, work really hard on just ignoring his complaints. Suggest cutting back on hours, moving to a smaller home/apt, whatever it takes to get through the next 5 years together in a reasonably happy state, b/c it DOES get easier when kids head off to school. They are sick less, they sleep better, and they aren't around to make so much housework! But, until then, try to come up with a plan you can both agree to try. Another thought is to hire help or simply ASK for help from a relative or really good friend. Sharing child care some regular times gives you and your friend both a break and often kids are easier to manage if they have a playmate, anyway. Maybe one afternoon you could keep her kid(s) and another she could take yours, and use the time to NAP. Or, quit your job and do in-home day care of a while; again, it's not that much more work if you take in one or two, you make some money, set your own hours, and are home to get a bit of laundry done each day and some other stuff, so your evenings aren't full of housework. Good luck!