10-24-2009, 06:53 PM
Join Date: Nov 2008
| | Re: im going crazy
Is your wife bisexual? Plenty of bisexual people are in committed, exclusive relationships with either gender. But there are a few that seem to need to alternate or have a relationship with both genders at all times (polyamory). Have you calmly and confidently just asked your wife questions about what's on her mind? If you are approaching her with insecurities, accusations or fears, then you are not asking questions and you won't get a better understanding of what's happening. So calm down, come up with a list of questions and then LISTEN to her.
You may ask things like, "are you emotionally satisfied in our marriage?" "Are you sexually satisfied in our marriage?" "Are you bisexual or bicurious or in any way attracted to women?" "Do you have feelings for any of your friends?" "Have you been sexual with any of your friends?" "Have you ever cheated or do you want to cheat?" "Do you want to be in this marriage?" "If you do want to be in this marriage, are you wanting to be in it exclusively?" "What things do I do that push you away?" etc etc.
Obviously, they would have to be questions specific to your situation. But, my point is that sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we're feeling that we forget to formulate coherent thoughts and questions and then to pause to listen to the answer and then still not react but continue to ask questions until we fully comprehend what's happening with our spouse. Once it's all done, then you'll have all sorts of feelings ... and i suggest you don't react immediately but take some time to digest what she says. She also may not be completely truthful, which you'll have to just use your judgment. Or, she may be totally truthful but there's something in YOU that is not a trusting person and would be paranoid regardless of the situation, so be honest with yourself.
In the end, though, if she's unhappy and wants to leave, we don't own anyone and all we can do is wish them well and heal our hearts. What's the point of being with someone that doesn't give you all the love and attention you deserve anyway? It's easy to get stuck pursuing someone, but are they really right for you in the end if they're not 100% giving you their heart and soul. Think about what YOU want from a partner ... can she offer that?