It sounds to me like your doing all you can. Your doing your part, but as a husband he needs to step in and do his part. I would put everything on the table, and let him know how you are feeling. Maybe some marriage counseling together. I would also suggest starting a hobby that you guys can enjoy together. To me it sounds like your his slave....
thanks for your reply. im so emotional about all this... thanks for reading all of my post. sorry its so long.
i have about once a week explained my feelings. all of them. very thoroughly. i have started hobbys and he takes no interest. he dosent admire the fact that i was an art major in HS where we fell in love, or that i can sew clothes for my kids, or anything. when i tell him my feelings he gets tired and starts acting like he cant stay awake-hes good at that. hes so bored with me. we had marriage counceling and we had to do an excersize where we take turns doing something nice for eachother and he said it was stupid and gave up. we stopped going. another time the councelor got mad at us cause we were supposed to try looking in eachothers eyes and he just laughed and the councelor was like "you cant even look at eachother. this isnt funny..." ect.
im sorry im so negative. i really appreciate your advise though. i wish it would work.
when i try to kiss him for real, he acts out of breath or tired or busy or dumb. he knows he needs to work on this, and sometimes he sees the hurt in my eyes when he pulls away- and he gets upset and says "IM TRYING!"
no he wasnt. he was giving up and getting upset cause i got sad. like always.
he told me last night that im doing everything right. he said "its not you. the only time i get upset with you is when you geta temper or when your in a bad mood" or whatever. he said its just hard for him to get himself in the mood. i told him "that is what im for" and even if i do get him in the mood ocasionally, he still says "im SORRY!" and just forces himself out of the mood. but when he happens to be in the mood, i know its now or never even if im in pain or not feeling good or not in the mood. i never complain about those times, but i have told him about them.
he said that he is just depressed about all that had been going on in the last month. all that happend was i aggreed to buy a house finally and we did and then we moved in and i upacked everything by myself. and i helped him lift heavy things that i couldnt do by myself becuase he didnt want to wait a day or two for another guy to show up and help. for example. the TV. its big its heavy and i had to lift it UP onto the entertainment center with him. i have no muscles. teh last year i have pulled my arm muscles about every week because he wont give me a break and stop makeing me work so hard. it nearly crushed my chest lifting the tv. i cried and he didnt even ASK if i was okay. didnt even thank me.
yeah i try to be there for him since he is so "depressed" but im being depressed about his attitude too. he wont lean on me for support becuase apparently "that isnt who he is". he pushes me further. he treats me like this daily. we havent even celebrated about our new house yet