Originally Posted by Crazzy PR Mom
God I wish things were that simple my husband is a master manipulator. We have a blended family. My two kids and his two kids mine are boy 18, Girl 13 / his girl 7 & 11. My kids would love nothing more than for me to walk away. But my husband uses all the kids against me. With threats like if you brake up this family I will take everything with me. We have been together for almost 8 years and married for 2. I left him once and he used the children to get me back in pretending to have changed and once we got married the why should I help if your son gets to do nothing!!! began again. Know I feel so stuck I don't know how to get out.....
He is doubtfully the master manipulator he has led you to believe he is... LOL !!!
the problem is he has made YOU believe he can control you
with ( from what you say) threats of various kinds, mind games, etc...
He has weakened your ability to see things clearly and that includes his weakening your ability to see, recognice and most of all USE YOUR STRENTHS.
You know how to get out... and you know its going to involve some changes that may be unpleasant initally but he will NOT BE able to STOP YOU if you choose to actually walk away.
He has only convinced you your stuck as he hits you where he knows he hurts you... and that seems to be the kids mostly.
You know that threat he has that if you break up this ( so called) family he will take everything with him?
what is that everything?
the roof over your head? what exactly?
what has he got over you that will actually really pan out so badly that you are willing to stay in a relationship with a man who has to use cohersion and threats to make you stay with him?
Would giving up that "everything" he threatens to take from you really happen? Do you believe he is that powerful or has he done that Wizard of OZ smoke and mirrors thing on you?
Who exactly is that man behind the BIG POWERFUL OZ???
What is it he has exactly that he will take with him if you break up his ideal family ( controlled wife he can manipulate)
Is whatever that is... really worth living with a man you do not want to be with ? Are you sure he has the upper hand in this marriage? why? is it true? or something he has just made you believe? He in fact may be more powerless than you could imagine and it will be him who will lose evertything ! like his home, half his 401K and pension !
Are you aware of the laws in your state? are you fully aware of the whole situation as to his power or supposed power over you in legal terms ? not just concerning the kids?
As it may turn out, your actually the powerful one in the big picture.... ! You need to look at BIG picture and stop letting him
hit you below the belt, which for you is the kids.
You must think of him like that little man behind the curtain in the movie WIZARD OF OZ....
because any man that is that powerful would not have to make threats to "control" his wife and have her stay with him through cohersion.. or hit below the belt to make her stay with threats that may in fact not be the truth...
Think about in that Movie, WIZARD OF OZ...
he is hoping to keep like the cowardly lion and to keep you that way, too cowardly to act because of his threats.......... he trying to make you believe you are like the scarecrow, who has no brain and cannot act and be happy unless he tells you that you are
and that he can control you and your happiness, he ants you unable to think clearly and see the big picture maybe.........
and he is treating you like the tin man...... took away your oil and making you "stuck" and not only that to tolerate him and whatever he chooses to do to or on you.
BUT LIKE THE MOVIE, at the end...
you will find all the power you need is within YOU, all you have to do is believe in yourself.
Your actually not stuck... you know that and you know your going to come out beter if you leave and dont come back next time.
and it wouldn't hurt since he has been so cruel to you
to show him you can be a scary little flying monkey if he wants to throw some smoke and mirror head games with you.