Wife aroused from looking at women
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife aroused from looking at women

I love my wife deeply and unconditionally. One thing I have noted over the years I have found my wife’s tv shows to generally feature female beauty . Also as a background one of the first dvd she purchased (on her own) was a movie that featured an actress that features a nude scene of one of her favorite actresses. It was a genre of movies that goes against anything that she likes. Many years ago, she mentioned that she kind of liked girls or would say things like “I would let her lick me” when referring to pretty girls on TV. I should point out that she has said things like this after a few drinks and that she always did it in a joking way to let me know but, kind of not. She always denied having any real bi-experiences. To me it doesn’t matter. I know she likes sex with me. She is Catholic and demonstrates traces of religious-inflicted type inhibition though she denies it. She likes to maintain she is liberated.

She had indicated she used to watch SC porn and pleasure herself. I noticed that she seems to get she is physically aroused when she sees hot women, particularly in skimpy attire/bathing suits. From what I gather it is rather common for straight women (or mostly straight) women to be this way. I came across these articles. Thought it would be interesting for other women to read. Study Suggests Difference Between Female And Male Sexuality
Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs

I personally don’t really have a problem that this is the case with her. In fact I find it arousing. I guess what I wish is that she were not so in denial of it. I guess how can I get her to not feel funny about it.

Thanks for everyone’s input.

Last edited by lifeisbetterthanalternat; 07-03-2013 at 02:25 PM.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm sorry if I am way off base. But being a (non-closeted) bi-sexual woman, it always makes me a bit leery when a man wants to hear about women's sexual thoughts about other women. I don't see how this would help your marriage at all.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm sorry if I am way off base. But being a (non-closeted) bi-sexual woman, it always makes me a bit leery when a man wants to hear about women's sexual thoughts about other women. I don't see how this would help your marriage at all.
Faithful,

Kudos for you to being able to “own” your bisexuality. My solicitation for feedback is not designed for women to explain in detail what it is that makes them hot and bothered for some sort of cheap thrill. Rather since my wife for the most part seems to deny/repress it would seem more healthy that she would be able to feel comfortable. I just think the truth is liberating with herself maybe somewhat liberating.

It may also may be comforting for some women to know they are not alone. It took my wife months to admit she liked toys and now we enjoy using them. Is helping my wife becoming more self-aware or at least self-honest a terrible thing? I certainly don’t want to foster a 3 some or something like that.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

If your wife was here herself asking these questions, I could see the point.
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Old 07-02-2013, 03:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

I don't see any thing wrong your questions at all. Maybe it because I'm not bi and it going over my head why your questions should be suspect.

I can admire women in provocative clothing because I would immediately start thinking about how turn on my H would be to see me in it and how it would immediately start some very seductive touching.

The thought of touching or being touch by another female is not at all arousing or appealing to me but I can appreciate the " hotness " of another woman.

Last edited by committed4ever; 07-02-2013 at 03:10 PM.
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Old 07-02-2013, 04:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think this is a great post as it shows that I am not alone. I am a 40yo women. I too am aroused by the sight of another women more than by a man. I consider myself straight insofar as I have no desire to touch or be touched by a women. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is visually stimulating to see two women together but, I could not see myself being with another women. Perhaps this is MY catholic upbringing so I hear where your wife is coming from. When I watch TV..sometimes it is because she is stunning, other times it can be from just body parts. Kind of makes me like my H. I mean I appreciate a man and have always been drawn to them sexually but, not from a visual standpoint. It is so strange. I too have googled it and it seems to be a relatively common thing. It is totally conceivable that your wife may think you may not understand this strange dichotomy of attraction to one gender yet visually stimulated by another. These thoughts have been confusing to me.

One thing that may be the disconnect (just a thought) is that perhaps your may not think you will understand your desire to seek out pretty women on tv. Women (or at least me), unlike men don’t necessarily driven to achieve an orgasm after a round of visually stimulating viewing. I can enjoy the arousal for the sensation that it brings without the need to “escalate things” perhaps if she totally admitted that she seeks this type of programing for “cheap thrills” that this would flash a “your getting laid tonight” sign which she may not necessarily want. Just a thought.
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Old 07-02-2013, 04:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

I agree with Faithful Wife. Why does it matter to you if she's turned on by seeing women?
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Old 07-02-2013, 04:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

Some people go through phases in terms of what turns them on. It's not a big deal.

I think individual sexuality falls somewhere on a spectrum - it's not black and white, either or.
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Old 07-03-2013, 04:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Some people go through phases in terms of what turns them on. It's not a big deal.

I think individual sexuality falls somewhere on a spectrum - it's not black and white, either or.
I concur.

As someone who likes both sexes, I'm inclined to think of sexuality as being fluid and changeable. It's a matter of people being attractive, rather than people of a certain gender being attractive.
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Old 07-03-2013, 01:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

The study article linked in the first post is from 2003 and I believe it has been debunked since. The problem was the device set to measure female arousal is not measuring it properly or more likely at all. Women actually have equivalent part(s) that get swollen during arousal just like men have and the device was not built to measure this.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

She could also just think the female body is pretty.And its not even sexual.If I see a beautiful flower and admire it that doesn't mean I'm sexually aroused or want to have sex with the flower.However I might want smell it.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
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She could also just think the female body is pretty.And its not even sexual.If I see a beautiful flower and admire it that doesn't mean I'm sexually aroused or want to have sex with the flower.However I might want smell it.
Yes there have been studies that do seem to question the accuracy of measuring female arousal. If one googles something to the effect of my thread title you will find other women who are similar to my wife as the ones who have responded to this thread.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I agree with Faithful Wife. Why does it matter to you if she's turned on by seeing women?
What do you mean "why does it matter"?...are you saying it wouldn't matter to you at all? That this information is useless to a married man?

How could you NOT want to know this information?

If you are in a relationship with someone, married or not, it certainly helps to know what turns that person on. I would want to know.

FWIW, my girl loves watching two women together, but she doesn't want to try it herself. It's fairly common.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

So tulsy...is it your wife's business to know every thought you have that causes arousal for you, what it is about, and why you have it?

And if you had some homo-sexual thoughts that turned you on, would it help YOU with those thoughts at all for your wife to post on a message board and ask other men about their sexual thoughts about men?

Is it your wife's job to try to manage your sexual thoughts?

Do you lay open your mind and ask her to help you figure out what turns you on?

Hopefully you get my point.

What she does with her own thoughts is her business. Unless she decides to share those thoughts with her husband, it is none of his business.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:51 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife aroused from looking at women

Sorry if this is common knowledge but what is SC porn?
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