sunflowerjen

I am new to this sight, but have felt the need to find a outlet for sometime. I have been married for almost 17 years. I am stuck in a position of wanting to leave and start a new life. My husband has no friends, he comes from a family that lacks the ability to show love to people, but not things. What I mean by that is he loves things more than people, and he loves himself more than anyone else. We have a 13 year old and a 4 year old; I need to say that both are his children! Because he treats the older one like he is not his. However my husband was in the Navy for 12 years and was not around our 13 year old for most of his life. My husband has been here for everything for the 4 year old. He treats them and shows them love differently. My day to day life is filled with anger and my mind races to figure out a solution to make my life what I would like it to be. I don't ask for much. I am not high maintenance. I only want the simple things. Such as being able to watch a movie and laugh out loud; not be told to shut the hell up, he can't hear. There is no abuse but verbal, more so to me and the 13 year old which is well aware he is physically growing bigger than his father. My 13yr makes statements to his father that he will be a better father when he grows up. Specific things are to many to list. He has no friends because he can't keep them, he is a user not a giver, not a friend. My family is slowing pulling away from me, because they can't stand him and his selfish ways. I just don't know what to do, how do ? Leave? Stay make him leave? He works a strange schedule and is gone some evenings, some late night, some day time shifts. While he is gone, no-one fights, no-one argues, no-one cares his is gone. We kinda of can't wait for him to go to work for some peace & quite. I do nothing right. Everything I do or attempt to do is wrong, according to him. I am told all the time I need some medication because I am not right in the head, he calls our son a loser...................he is 13yr he should never hear that from his father. Help?

serendipity666

Hi

I wish I could offer you some advice but I cant. I just wanted to say I hear you. I too have been married for 17yrs and wont go into my story but I always wanted better for my own 8 kids after watching my own mother verbally abused for years. I am married to a man who works full-time, has never contributed to a bill or a birthday in all the time we have been married but who swears blind he loves me whilst calling our 16yr old a loser for having dreams and ambition.

My children are being brought up thankfully with little input from there father, my kids are allowed there hopes and dreams and will get better than they can dream of.

We mums have a tough job, best that we can do, hold out for the quiet moments and not forget once in a while that we do get it right, if only for our kids and not ourselves..


serendipity