Chronicles of the Good Guy - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #31 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 06:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Yes Conrad. Thought she would grow up eventually. It didn't happen.
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post #32 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 11:00 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Slow is fine GG, there's no rush. Take your time and find someone who is good to you, someone who "fits" with you. Do it at your own pace.
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post #33 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-04-2013, 05:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

So the mid 30s girl I'm talking to has a 60 year old female roommate... I'm not sure how to take it. Is it a weird pseudo mother daughter thing? It seems a bit like that. I had an offer to come over to her house last night while her roommate was out of town, but I've been sick for a few days and I declined. I don't think she's my forever but I wouldn't mind having a bit of fun, you know?

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post #34 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 08:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

So I met the roommate tonight. She actually seems pretty funny and very witty. Still not sure how all this will go but I'm aware and observing
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post #35 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 10:06 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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So I met the roommate tonight. She actually seems pretty funny and very witty. Still not sure how all this will go but I'm aware and observing
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You don't want to date her roommate.
Take HER out on a date lol
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post #36 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Hah, so true. I was invites to dinner tonight. The roommate showed up.
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post #37 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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post #38 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 03:35 AM
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Hah, so true. I was invites to dinner tonight. The roommate showed up.
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Aaahhh.... I see but that sounds convienient that she showed up though. Its okay lol. If you like her ask her out next time.
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post #39 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 07:46 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

When I was 38ish, I had a roommate who was 55. We just happened to be going through divorces (my first, her THIRD) at the same time - she was a young 55.

It let us rent a 5br house with a 2 car garage at a time when her ex was slashing tires and breaking her windshield so we moved in together with a safe place for our cars and lots of room in a nice neighborhood.

Don't worry about the roommate - it likely has nothing to do with needing a mommy but we did do a lot of things together for company during that period of transition. Try again only go out this time.

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“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
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post #40 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 09:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Thanks Enjoli. It was actually out, at a cool pizza/bar place. The roommate showed up after 15 minutes or so after I got there. Perhaps it was a "come give me your input on this new man" type of interaction between them?
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post #41 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 10:09 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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So let's say I meet this gal for lunch tomorrow, things go OK, leads to more lunches and then dates, and she eventually says "well, I kinda have a boyfriend". The PUA might say "so, what's the problem?". I don't think I can operate like that. I understand I'm not ready for anything serious right now, so this is more of a theoretical question for later on.

If I get the "I have a boyfriend" thing, my first instinct would be to distance myself from a woman, as the last thing I want to be is a POSOM in someone else's relationship, married or not. So how do you distinguish between the genuine "Dude, I'm not into you so I'll say I have a bf to get out of this" and the fitness test of "would he actually fight for me?".
Huh? I guess I am not even understanding this.

Why would you WANT to continue going out with a woman who doesn't even tell you she has a boyfriend until you are sitting together having lunch? Huh?

And moreso, why would you WANT to be involved with someone who would 'game' you and pretend that they have a boyfriend in order to see if you'd "fight" for them. That to me screams RED FLAG and emotionally immature and not anyone I'd ever want to be involved with.

Nope.

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post #42 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 10:16 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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Treat these initial meetings as labs or test cases. I'm not joking.
I l-l-l-love this way of thinking about dates. If you think of them in technical terms and approach them as projects, it makes it more fun!


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I spent my husband's money on clothing and spas because he neglected me emotionally and physically, and it made me feel like sh!t. Nice clothing and spa treatments made me feel better about myself. It was replacement therapy.
This is funny. My exH thought he could "buy me" into happiness. You know, like just because he bought me things, I should be happy. Um, no. I mean, I am sure a lot of women would be fine with that, all the jewelry in the world wouldn't have made me happy. No, thanks.
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post #43 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 11:06 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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This is funny. My exH thought he could "buy me" into happiness. You know, like just because he bought me things, I should be happy. Um, no. I mean, I am sure a lot of women would be fine with that, all the jewelry in the world wouldn't have made me happy. No, thanks.
My thought is, I'm a grown-up. I can buy my own damn jewelry. Plus, the jewelry that my STBXH bought me was so awful. He had horrible taste. And he wouldn't stop.


~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #44 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 11:41 AM
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Thanks Enjoli. It was actually out, at a cool pizza/bar place. The roommate showed up after 15 minutes or so after I got there. Perhaps it was a "come give me your input on this new man" type of interaction between them?
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That's what it sounds like.

Hey, it's a date. You're not looking to marry the girl. If you got a. good vibe from the whole thing go out with her again.

See how the next date goes. If the roommate shows up again, then I would think something was up.
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post #45 of 615 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 12:08 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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My thought is, I'm a grown-up. I can buy my own damn jewelry. Plus, the jewelry that my STBXH bought me was so awful. He had horrible taste. And he wouldn't stop.

Well, Mr. ExJelly had impeccable taste in jewelry. He was always great with that. Sadly, his emotional disconnect is what caused my heart to chip.
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