Chronicles of the Good Guy - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #91 of 615 (permalink) Old 01-22-2014, 11:25 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

My H finally ended our marriage/separation/attempt at reconciliation a couple of weeks ago and what I know about myself that I didn't know two years ago when he first asked for a divorce is that my pain is distorting my perspective on relationships, men, and my ability to be in a relationship. My thought is that when I no longer feel weird about all that stuff is when I'll actually be ready for a new relationship.

So, my thought is that you are hyper-aware of talking to married women because you still have pain and it may be a sign that you're not ready to be out there yet.

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post #92 of 615 (permalink) Old 01-22-2014, 09:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Thanks FB. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully confident that could/would hold up my boundaries. It's just that even if I know the husband/SO, I'm hyper-sensitive with regards to how it might make the other guys feel or how it might look to others. I think I'll always feel that way. Wish others had had that same level of respect for me.
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post #93 of 615 (permalink) Old 01-24-2014, 10:24 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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Thanks FB. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully confident that could/would hold up my boundaries. It's just that even if I know the husband/SO, I'm hyper-sensitive with regards to how it might make the other guys feel or how it might look to others. I think I'll always feel that way. Wish others had had that same level of respect for me.
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Well, then, what do I know? Good for you that you're being careful with other people's feelings.
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post #94 of 615 (permalink) Old 01-31-2014, 09:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

So it's been 8 months since D was final. I feel like I passed a milestone tonight (or proved that I had already passed it a while back). I didn't feel a thing, good or bad, to hear that Ex was with another man tonight. To be honest I haven't heard a lot about her overall recently. The old me might have really gotten upset. Not the new me.

Ex has leveled her life out. Not ideal but at least fairly predictable. She was picking up D7 from after school care to keep her overnight tonight. Because today was a school day, D7 couldn't take her normal bag o' goodies with her to school, so I kept it in my car so that Ex could meet me to get the bag. When she showed up, I was inside work, but instead of texting "I'm here", she parked a ways off and came inside. I guided her directly to my car and while I got her the bag, she said "just so you know, I have someone with me tonight. I will not introduce him to D7 as anything other than my friend". I guess she has known this guy "a while" (OK...) so I reiterated to her that as long as she didn't introduce him as anything other than her friend, I was OK with that for now. I was pleased with that and she left. I felt good after. There was no drama. I felt..... nothing. Thats why I think the milestone actually happened a while back and I didn't even notice it.

If she sees this guy for a while and it looks more serious I will want to at least meet him, look him in the eye and assess (for my daughter's sake), but feeling nothing tonight lifted a big weight off my shoulders.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks!
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post #95 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-01-2014, 05:58 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Good for you GG. I hope this helps her get her **** together for your daughter's sake.

Your future is with someone much better than her.
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post #96 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-11-2014, 07:46 AM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

She blew it when she cheated on you because she ruined her own life.

Eventually you may have some other sort of relationship with her. Hope she has found a stable guy who is not drinking.
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post #97 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 07:49 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

My God what a selfish b****. My ex filed her taxes last night. It didn't dawn on me until much later when she asked for my D7's social security number why she needed it. I called to see if she had claimed D7 as her dependant, she said of course not. That she claimed SS13 and I would claim D7 since that's who they lived with the majority of last year. Something seemed fishy so I texted her and said that if we both claim them the IRS will audit both. (not that I have anything to hide but it's just a hassle)

So she called me this morning to admit that she did, in fact, claim D7. Such a selfish lier. She said it would be OK because she could just pay me the child tax credit of $1800 in cash once it comes in. I said no. Go back up to the tax place, tell them the truth, and have them file the correct return.

I haven't filed mine yet so I don't know what other implications this might have if she's not able to turn it around. Apparently the Fed already "accepted" her e-file, but I said I don't care. Go back and take care of it.
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post #98 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 01:49 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

So selfish. Stand your ground my friend. You have a right to live your life honestly. If she wants to deceive the tax office then that's her choice. But dragging you into that lie? Not cool.
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post #99 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:16 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

She just wanted to chance it. Might work. However, it's an insult to you.

Is she drinking less? That is the most important sign that she is or isn't pulling herself together.

Now you are the smart IT ex husband that she lost. Can't get you back and she cannot forget it.
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post #100 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:36 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

Grateful everyday that at least my kids were grown when their Dad flaked out.

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post #101 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

So she said she "tried" to get them to undo the taxes submission but they couldn't. That the "tax professional" said we could either do the $1800 in cash or have it drag out. Bullsnot. No tax person would advise a client to commit tax fraud. It doesn't matter.

I will file my taxes normally, legally, and truthfully (and claim my daughter), and send in whatever paperwork they want to see to prove it. I sent her a text message (and saved a copy) with this information, and will let whatever happens to her happen. Not my problem.
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post #102 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:43 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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So she said she "tried" to get them to undo the taxes submission but they couldn't. That the "tax professional" said we could either do the $1800 in cash or have it drag out. Bullsnot. No tax person would advise a client to commit tax fraud. It doesn't matter.

I will file my taxes normally, legally, and truthfully (and claim my daughter), and send in whatever paperwork they want to see to prove it. I sent her a text message (and saved a copy) with this information, and will let whatever happens to her happen. Not my problem.
At least you can tell she hasn't made any remarkable changes.
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post #103 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:44 PM
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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So she said she "tried" to get them to undo the taxes submission but they couldn't. That the "tax professional" said we could either do the $1800 in cash or have it drag out. Bullsnot. No tax person would advise a client to commit tax fraud. It doesn't matter.

I will file my taxes normally, legally, and truthfully (and claim my daughter), and send in whatever paperwork they want to see to prove it. I sent her a text message (and saved a copy) with this information, and will let whatever happens to her happen. Not my problem.
That's BS!!! You can ALWAYS file an amended return. She's a LIAR.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #104 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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She just wanted to chance it. Might work. However, it's an insult to you.

Is she drinking less? That is the most important sign that she is or isn't pulling herself together.

Now you are the smart IT ex husband that she lost. Can't get you back and she cannot forget it.
Yeah she thought I would just overlook it. Doesn't she know me better?

Not sure about her drinking. I talk with her so little these days, but I've not heard the slurring in her voice the few times we have talked like I used to. Not that that proves anything.
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post #105 of 615 (permalink) Old 02-13-2014, 03:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy

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At least you can tell she hasn't made any remarkable changes.
Yep

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Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
That's BS!!! You can ALWAYS file an amended return. She's a LIAR.
And yep again.
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