Re: Chronicles of the Good Guy
You ... Stop it.
Stop thinking about how things 'might be', or 'might turn out'.
Being able to remove the expectation of an outcome is the BIGGEST step you can make as you venture into the trenches of dating.
Treat these initial meetings as labs or test cases. I'm not joking.
I don't get nervous about dates at all. I don't concern myself with whether or not she thinks I'm the cat's pajamas or if she'll want to see me again.
You know why? Because I've gone on lots of dates. For no other purpose than to get comfortable interacting with someone on a date.
If I understand you correctly, you are imagining scenarios that haven't even happened, or may not be true. Yeah ... don't do that.
I have a very simple premise when I go on a date. I automatically presume she is seeing other people. You know why? Because YOU should be seeing other people too.
If she's on a date with you, and brings up having a boyfriend, she is indeed looking for you to make the circumstances ok ... so, tell her you don't care. Then ask her what she likes about him. Then ask her what isn't working so well, given that she is in fact on a date and talking about the guy she is supposedly involved with ... with another guy, you. See how easy that is? Once again, YOU then get to decide what direction things go in. If she sounds like a lot of work and drama, easy enough to friend-zone yourself. Point is, YOU steer things, don't leave it up to her ... again, unless you already know you're looking for an out.
Just learn how to interact and relax. If you aren't good at reading non-verbal cues, then learn them.
Focus on being the YOU that you want to be. Don't worry about the date. If you are fun, confident and comfortable, you aren't ever going to end up on anyone's nightmare date list.
Pickup Artistry has little to do with what you want to accomplish. I do however recommend that guys who are utterly oblivious to dating, reading, or relating to women get one of the books. Should you follow it to the letter? Sure, if you want to get smacked and look ridiculous. I'm going to presume if you are a male older than the age of 19 you will be able to read the material and separate the wheat from the chaff.
If you are a fun, relaxed date and don't presume you are on an interview to be someones soul-mate, you will do just fine.
But all of that over-analyzing thing? Knock that sh!t off.
Last edited by Deejo; 08-23-2013 at 05:05 PM.