Stop answering calls for him is right Pulto. I am in the same boat, no CS for year. He "can't" you see I ruined his life and his ability to make an income. THAT is why, well one of the reasons, I do not bother with contact. What happens is on top of the worries of struggling to be the sole provider, I then get hooked into the toxic pattern of guilt that I hurt him or I didn't work hard enough yada yada yada.
I reiterate, do not respond to his texts, that is the classic denial pattern they try. Let us see if Pluto has stopped her foolishness and we can get back to Hell as normal.
My family no longer responds to his texts or calls, he dragged them into crazy town.
Do what you need to do to be healthy, you cannot go out and take care of children and the finances with the kind of chaos and toxicity your ex is heaping your way.
Others may read this and say what is the big deal, don't project 2GM, but I say I know the score and it is no way to live.
Then, when you are strong they drag the kids into this. My ex showed up at an elementary school and shoved notes through the gate, left my daughter crying and drove away while all her friends watched.
Why? Well it is Christmas! It is Christmas! You have to do what they say!
No contact Pluto. They can take responsibility for themselves, you are too busy taking responsibility for yourself and your children. Talk to your daughter and respect her choices, teach her to stand up for herself, speak for herself and be healthy.
It is still hard, even after all the hurt.
I know in my head that no contact is best, but that naive, open-hearted person keeps hoping that if he's calling it means he might actually care about the kids and want to help. I'm an idiot.
All his call ended up being was shovels full of guilt, and I was feeling guilty because the daughter he treated so horribly wants nothing to do with him. D16 is so smart and while she can cut things to the quick, her heart is kind and her head is brilliant. I have to trust her in this.
When he was packing to leave, I told him the kind of relationship he has with the kids is up to him. I would not fix it. Guess I'm fighting my own words.
I cannot fix it.
I should get more than crumbs out of life.