Two week notice - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #1 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
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Two week notice

Today, I went to the attorney's office to sign the final affidavits for the divorce. The judge should sign the final decree in 1 to 2 weeks. So ends a 28 year marriage and a 37 year relationship. I do not miss him, especially since in the last five or six years he became a totally different human from the one I fell in love with years ago. Now he is paranoid, depressed, and manipulative. He's also a liar, a cheat and a terrible father, who hasn't seen his kids in five months. Five months! Never, never, never in a million years did I ever think life would bring me here. I do not want to shed one more tear because of him.

When I was leaving my attorney's office she jokingly said if I ever need her for a pre-nup, just give her a call. I seriously think her services will not be needed. ever.

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post #2 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 08:26 PM
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Re: Two week notice

Sorry that after all this time together that it ends like this for you, P2. I, too, experienced that change where the person you ended up seems so different from the one you fell in love with, though it sounds like your STBXH is much worse.

As much as I never wanted to be divorced or to raise any children in a split home, I did not shed a tear on the day of my divorce, either (Valentine's Day, 2013), and haven't shed a tear about the divorce since. Other things, yes, but not the divorce itself. I wondered if, even though I felt pretty hardened towards him, at the final moment, if I'd feel emotional when I stood before the judge. Surprisingly, not a bit. I felt strong, and knew it was the right decision for me, in order for me to be whole and healed, so that I could be a stable parent for our child. Sounds like it might be the same for you. The divorce is just a legal recognition of what had already gone down long before.

You've shown yourself to be a strong, compassionate person here on TAM. I think you'll see this as the start of things getting better for you.

I'm undecided on which pants to wear today -- smarty, fancy or sassy?
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post #3 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 08:35 PM
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Re: Two week notice

People change, sometimes for the worse. I know it's a sad ending. I hope this is the start of a very good rest of your life.
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post #4 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 08:57 PM
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Re: Two week notice

Pluto

I'm sorry. Be strong. I'm right behind you.

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post #5 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 08:34 AM
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Re: Two week notice

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Today, I went to the attorney's office to sign the final affidavits for the divorce. The judge should sign the final decree in 1 to 2 weeks. So ends a 28 year marriage and a 37 year relationship. I do not miss him, especially since in the last five or six years he became a totally different human from the one I fell in love with years ago. Now he is paranoid, depressed, and manipulative. He's also a liar, a cheat and a terrible father, who hasn't seen his kids in five months. Five months! Never, never, never in a million years did I ever think life would bring me here. I do not want to shed one more tear because of him.

When I was leaving my attorney's office she jokingly said if I ever need her for a pre-nup, just give her a call. I seriously think her services will not be needed. ever.
I too was married for 28 years. Just two weeks shy of what would have been our 30th Anniversary, the Judge granted our divorce. And you know what? I feel Liberated! Free! Happy even! I am more than ready to move forward. I don't miss him. I don't want to see him. I don't even want to think about him. I have found a rather bizarre source of humor when I do think of the past 28 years and I regret nothing.

So my suggestion would be to move forward with freedom and joy in your life. You are still alive and have family and friends and the freedom to enjoy life without carrying the burden of an unhappy marriage. Life is short. Enjoy your new life!
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post #6 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 08:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Two week notice

Thanks all for the support.
I'd like to think I am done with him, but with kids I guess you're never done. I honestly don't care anymore about his serial cheating, although after I found out about the extent of his infidelities I was shocked that I was that blind. But his callous attitude towards our kids breaks my heart.
This past weekend D12 was mauled by a dog. We know the dog and it was a sudden and unprovoked attack. She came close to losing her eye, has stitches all over her face, and will be left with scars. I'd like to think that a father would come to his daughter's side, but then I'd be wrong. She got a phone call and a text. This guy is not working and the only commitments he has are his GFs. I'd really like to grab his head and shake it to see if he has any idea about anything.
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post #7 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 10:17 AM
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Re: Two week notice

OMG, P2, how horrible for your poor D!! The dog attack and aftermath is bad enough, but to be treated so shabbily by her own dad feels even worse, I'm sure. Oh, I get so angry when I hear things like this. These guys just think with their d!cks, and lose sight of what is really important. I hope he catches something from one of his gf's and it falls off.

I'm undecided on which pants to wear today -- smarty, fancy or sassy?
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post #8 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 10:24 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Two week notice

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OMG, P2, how horrible for your poor D!! The dog attack and aftermath is bad enough, but to be treated so shabbily by her own dad feels even worse, I'm sure. Oh, I get so angry when I hear things like this. These guys just think with their d!cks, and lose sight of what is really important. I hope he catches something from one of his gf's and it falls off.

Thanks I needed that.
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post #9 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 12:35 PM
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Re: Two week notice

AngelPixie,

Based on the pictures you were courageous enough to share with this ragtag bunch, I think seeing you mad might make me giggle because you would probably look cuter than your shared photos.

Just saying,
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post #10 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 12:59 PM
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Re: Two week notice

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OMG, P2, how horrible for your poor D!! The dog attack and aftermath is bad enough, but to be treated so shabbily by her own dad feels even worse, I'm sure. Oh, I get so angry when I hear things like this. These guys just think with their d!cks, and lose sight of what is really important. I hope he catches something from one of his gf's and it falls off.


So sorry to hear about your daughter!!! Sending lots of positive energy her way.


~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #11 of 177 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 09:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Two week notice

Short update,
D12 says she can smile and it doesn't hurt! Such a brave one she is.
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post #12 of 177 (permalink) Old 10-25-2013, 12:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Two week notice

Finally, got my order signed at High Noon!



The judge called my attorney to apologize for the delay.
Now quickly, he's off my health insurance, off my life insurance and off my retirement account.
Triple D (despicable deadbeat dad) still hasn't seen the kids or paid support. I hear he's living with a new GF in another state, and not working. What in the world could someone see in him?
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post #13 of 177 (permalink) Old 10-25-2013, 12:16 PM
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Re: Two week notice

Welcome to the (almost) D club!

Totally understand you on not knowing him anymore (the guy in court that final day was NOT the guy I fell in love with) and on never wanting to marry again.

It's fun on this side though, I can tell you! We have so much fun and we have all survived!

We are here for you buddy!

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post #14 of 177 (permalink) Old 10-25-2013, 12:17 PM
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Re: Two week notice

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Triple D (despicable deadbeat dad) still hasn't seen the kids or paid support. I hear he's living with a new GF in another state, and not working. What in the world could someone see in him?
Idk but he does not sound like a prize at all.

Congrats for getting him off all of your insurance.
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post #15 of 177 (permalink) Old 10-25-2013, 12:19 PM
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Re: Two week notice

Congrats, P2!!!

That's the biggest mystery in these situations, isn't it? What in the world makes these guys attractive to anyone, the way they are now? If I was meeting a guy, and I knew he had kids he hadn't seen in months and wasn't supporting financially, I would NOT be saying "Hmmm, now this is someone I want to get to know better!"

I'm undecided on which pants to wear today -- smarty, fancy or sassy?
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