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Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 02-23-2011, 01:21 AM   #106 (permalink)
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Feelingalone, you have done great effort to move on with your life and you did wonderful things to you and to the most important person in your life, your son.

But as i felt from your words that you were still holding on a hope to get back together. ( you don't believe it was going to happen but somehow you didn't want to let go)

This wedding knocked down your last hope. It is hard but it is also what you need to free yourself and the push that you need to move on emotionally as you already moved on physically and mentally.

As for exercising, did you like the p90x? I personally tried it for a while i loved so much the YogaX and the abs exercising But i don't have all the equipment for the other exercises so i stopped it and did the Hip Hop abs workout it was fun doing it and it helped me get over the depression then i started the insanity workout wow the insanity is really hard but i like it. I think as a soccer player you may like the insanity more

Crongrats! for the championship
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Old 02-25-2011, 11:03 AM   #107 (permalink)
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LVS,

Thank you for the kind words. I believe you are right, in my mind I was done, physically I was done, but some where in my heart I held out something I guess.

And you are right, as is AC and CW that her wedding is a release from that emotionally.

My thoughts turn more and more to the future of me and my son. What places will we explore together? What knowledge can I give him? He is and always will be my strength.

So far I've enjoyed the P90X routine. I just wish I knew before the yoga how many downward facing dogs you had to do, and that warrior pose 3 -- lets just say I was tumbling a lot during that portion.

I've heard that Insanity is well insane. Maybe I'll do that after I finish with P90X.
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Old 02-26-2011, 08:38 PM   #108 (permalink)
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Are you having your son with you this weekend? How is he going after the circus last weekend? Were you able to probe his feelings on all this?
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Old 02-26-2011, 11:17 PM   #109 (permalink)
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I had him last night. I didn't ask about anything. I just wanted to let it go for now. I just spent tiime with him.
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Old 02-27-2011, 04:03 AM   #110 (permalink)
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Good to let sometimes go until you sort all your emotions out before you talk to your son and ask him anything... This is a wise decision.

You are using a great strategy to deal with your situation hope i can find the push to move on with my life. I know my story is not about affair but about abuse but it seems that the process to move on with our lives is always the same. We all go through the same emotions.

About exercising, still the yoga X my favorite lol

As you said the insanity is really insane but we can all do it on our pace though i feel exhausted each time after doing it. What i loved more in it is the stretching after each set
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:51 AM   #111 (permalink)
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Congrats on the big win! Soccer is awesome for working out stress! And what a great time with your son, too; glad to hear it!
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Old 02-28-2011, 12:13 PM   #112 (permalink)
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Thanks Sisters and LVS. Yes sometimes the less said the better. Well lil guy isn't feeling good today. Home sick with a fever. Days like today I really miss the "family". I feel some how detached as his father at times like this since I don't get to hold him when he is sick. Everything else I can move on from, but this is what pangs my heart. I feel like a bad father.

Any thoughts?
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Old 02-28-2011, 01:20 PM   #113 (permalink)
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Can you offer to take care of him when he is sick? Not sure what your work schedule looks like but maybe you can incorporate somehow taking care of him?
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Old 04-06-2011, 09:46 AM   #114 (permalink)
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It's been a while since I last posted or even came on TAM. I think I needed a break.

Things are going pretty well for me. I still have moments of sadness in my life, but they are further and further apart. Sometimes its a song on the radio as I drive that brings back an image of the past, a good time before the end. Things like that.

My schedule seems so full anymore. Work has been very busy. I'm still playing soccer and hanging out with friends. I'm trying to do more of that. And there is a certain woman I've started to hang out with some. She is a recent divorcee as well and does have a child. So going slow and just doing group things where both my son and hers play together. Her son joined my son's winter swim team this year, so they knew each other before we started hanging out.

It is kind of weird since she knows my ex through that as well. Turns out this woman and I should have graduated high school together. Life is full of surprises.

But I am very cautious. I've still got to enjoy being just me and the father of my son. He is doing well. Being just an 8 year old boy and having fun. He isn't playing baseball this spring, which I really miss coaching.

Oh well. That is my update. Just moving forward.
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:41 PM   #115 (permalink)
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Glad to hear things are going well for you FA
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Old 04-07-2011, 10:39 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Thanks for your story. I am just starting my divorce, well not me but well you know. Lots of things went wrong on both sides but it boils down to I was always giving and she quit giving. You know as the name suggests classic nice guy syndrome. Your story gives me hope for the future. I am fighting for my kids if I have to though she said she won't fight me for them. I will never deny them their mother but I always wonder if we don't reconcile what about that new guy will they call him dad? Your story gives me hope that I will still be able to create that bond with my children that no matter what happens it will be that other guy they may call him dad butin their hearts they will know he is nothing more then a step-father and Dad was that guy who gave it his everything, who loved them and continued on for them during what has been the hardest part of his life thus far.
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:39 PM   #117 (permalink)
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Wellnews update on my end for the single father thread. Future ex decided it wasmoreimportant to hang out with the girls this weekend instead of spending time with her kids that she won't see for 18 months or so. Not taking it hard though (well I am for my kids as I just can't understand this) I don't really care what she is doing and who with.

Its a nice day out and the cherry blossoms are blooming so gonna go take my kids out to look at them maybe let them run around the park for a bit while I just relax. Gotta keepmoving forward one day at a time and remeber I may have lost 1/3 of the love of my life but I stillhave 2/3 and like has been said 2 out of three aint bad.
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Old 04-09-2011, 05:09 PM   #118 (permalink)
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FA....you are awesome!!!

Niceguy....I loved the "2 out of 3 aint bad."

I really have loved the TAM crew. Extremely supportive and helpful!!
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Old 04-09-2011, 08:51 PM   #119 (permalink)
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Thanks NRTQ and Niceguy. Niceguy, its just my story, a kind of journal of my journey. I'm glad it has helped you see that life will go on and you can be better for it. Just keep your kids at the forefront of your life. You can't control your ex, and more importantly you can't allow her actions control you. In the end it is her loss for "ignoring" the kids... they will remember.

CW....... no you are awesome. You've been there for me since almost the beginning. I can't begin to thank you enough. You've helped me so much. And I hope you know I'm always here for you.

Peace.
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Old 04-09-2011, 10:55 PM   #120 (permalink)
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Unfortunatley are oldest is 6 and the other is 4. The 4 yr old wife has been more emotionaly around then the 6yr old. Then again my boy is all me so that probaly doesn't help his case and it feels like she punishes him for what I irk her about. I don't want to talk bad about ehr in the years to come but I also don't want to lie to them. I am dreading the future conversations even the ones that their little 6 and 4 year old minds bring to me are heartshattering. Not because of how I feel torwards her but their masked pain and grief.

My girl just goes Daddy, why don't you and mommy just be married again. I know you try to make mommy happy so mommy should just be happy. And I am just stuck there mouth hanging open not knowing what to say while my little darling girl breaks my heart. My boy luckily he isn't acting out or anything but even with her still living with us for the time being everytime I get in the car with them and without her its Are we going to go see mommy, I want to tell mommy I love her, This weekend is a good example she is about to not see them for a year plus and she goes out all weekend. Truth is that isn'tshowing much love for your kids when we went to the cherry blossom festival I was stuck with that question all I could answer was Mommy is gone right now buddy its just the three of us, then tried to divert the subject (unsuccesfuly because like me he doesn't give up till satisfied with an answer) So I just ended up having to enforce quiet time in the car. I felt really bad for it because I know he is hurting but I don't want to "poison" him against her by telling him the truth.....sigh guess today is a bad day for me.
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