Some people position themselves to serial dating for several reasons. They could be scared to
connect deeply with another person, may not feel the reward is worth the risk, some after a 15-20-25 year M....
feel it just isn't in the cards for them. Mom and pop's parents were married till death, my parents
were (well it took them getting M twice
) married till death, my two older aunts were.
As I grew up... once M, always M.... fight it out. Well times.... they do a' change.
So far, everyone from my two older brothers, who are 11 and 13 years older, on back through to forever that I know of, have stayed married till death. There are maybe just two or three of my relatives, out of say thirty, that have divorced. My sister, who is only 15 months older and me are the ones who have had the toughest time with it. Different generations, I guess. Taught the older ways by aging parents and they weren't compatible with the realities of the day. I don't know for sure. Some of it is me, too. I won't lie.
The months leading up to me meeting 1st love... I was more interested in recovering from the
botched surgery and enjoying my senior year. We met, both showed interest, but I was hesitant.
1st love cornered me...."if you like me, act on it or leave me alone." We dated two years.
2nd love... I decided to date around and enjoy my college years. I did like this one gal
but learned she wanted to try things again with her x b/f. I respected that... she would ask me
advice (I was a few years older). One day she told me she had a friend she thought I would like to meet.
We dated solid for three years and off and on two more. For roughly a year, I dated around... had just
graduated college. Met a few great women, met a few I wish I hadn't. Even was semi-serious with
a gal 17 years older than me. Summer '97 I was happily dating a handful of women and was not
serious with any. Enter my now XW.... "the deck was shuffled" and she was top card on deck.
Reshuffled.... XW still there...... third time.... XW still there. One by one the other women just
faded away. There we were.... 15+ years. After DDay 2012... I had about as much desire to date
as I would getting a hemorrhoid. I knew exactly what I wanted by learning from my mistakes in
our M. But I was not ready.... for anything serious. Enter UG... who personified "the perfect person at
the perfect time." It was wonderful..... then it was over. Somewhat like a high school or college
romance. I have been dating around for about six months now. Not much has changed... still love older
women. I seem more attractive to older women. Now for the Sandy Koufax curveball....
since I want kids I have to date younger. New territory for me. When you look to the right for that
"person" she will sneak up on you, on your left.
That's a lot to me. I know it's not that much, in the bigger picture. Sneaking up on me is how I met my second wife. She was there speaking at a meeting. I wanted to get to know her, but had no designs of getting married to anyone. I didn't take it off the table completely and forever. I just had no thoughts of it. A few dates later, and she wanted to move in.
As for the BS.... I never knew if XW cheated or
not. It didn't matter.... she walked out on the M. To he!! with her. She regrets what she did,
has admitted this. Well that is her cross to bear.
Some day, I may want to talk with my second wife. I haven't been able since she left in '11. There was no ability to have a conversation, no matter how I tried. A ton of hurt later, and I have not contacted her since June of '12. I sometimes believe it will be a must to heal. Trouble is, I doubt she will ever want to discuss in general, just what the hell happened. I'm not ready yet anyway. I have time. I may choose not to ever attempt that and have no real designs on it presently. It's just thoughts and musings at the moment. Trying to heal and figuring out what I need to do that is tough.