07-04-2011, 11:59 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
| | When will my anger go away?
This is my first thread, but I am interested in gaining insight from all of you on just how long anger lasts once you know you are getting divorced?
My story was a fairytale for 14 years. I married my prince charming and had two beautiful daughters. We had a wonderful relationship and were close with both sides of our family. We were so blessed that both sets of our parents are still alive and have been married 51 and 48 years respectively. I thought those were fairly good indicators for us. he would surprise me with many trips and gifts and spend quality time with both sides of the family. He was a strong, Christian man.
Then my STBXH turned 40 and began to have issues with his image and struggled with anxiety. After several trips to emergency rooms and specialists it was determined he was in great health, just a little high blood pressure and needing to lose about 10-20 pounds. No big deal, right? Well, then spinning happened. He spent thousands of dollars on bikes, shoes, clothing, etc...He became obsessed with it and the small group at a local workout facility. They were all inseperable. Then came the town ***** (she was part of this group) and she swept him off his feet and he couldn't resist her charms. He carried on an affair for two months (so he says) until he told me on the night of our 14 year anniversary. I took him back bc he said he wanted to fix it and make the marrige work. I caught them in public two times after that and still took him back because I believed in our marriage. A year later I received pictures in the mail of them on vacation (which my daughter witnessed me opening much to my horror) and that was it. I became this whole other person....nasty, bitter and angry. It's almost a year later and finally we are getting dissoultion. He had up to that point refused to sign the papers. He never has taken the girls one time since he has been gone (except out to movie or dinner). He has no contact with his siblings or parents. I still am close with them and they are very supportive.
I want the anger to subside so that I can begin to heal completely. How long will this last? My therapist says it could take years....it's been two years, isn't that long enough?
I am anxious to see what the rest of my life holds. thoughts and advice please....I am sick of being lonely. I miss companionship.