Sparkles422

It is over.

I did have my last say. I said to X this am before court that I am going to tell you why I am divorcing you. And so I told him because he was not going to get away scot free on the pain and confusion I went through because of his deceit and lies.

It was become of your EA. You lied to me when I asked for the truth which did not allow me to make a decision based on accurate information. You used my pain and the betrayal to fuel your lust with this other woman. You deliberately kept me guessing and in confusion because you wanted your backup plan. And that is why I am divorcing you because you turned out to be a liar and untrustworthy. I don't know what image you have constructed in your mind of yourself but know that you are a liar. And I could never trust you again. I don't look at you in the same way I did. That is the full reason.

And now I have had an offer on the house yesterday, being delivered today, a little haggle and by week's end I should know whether the house sold.

And then onto a new apartment and finding gainful employment and down the road.....dates

52flower

You did it! You seem strong and confident-good for you. How did you react to your conversation prior to court? If your words did not sink in today, maybe he will think about them in the days to come. Congratulations Sparkles!

Jellybeans

Hey Sparkles. Glad to hear you made it through and told him what you needed to say.

Now, onto the future

Sparkles422

52flower and jellybeans:

After dumping that crap and not in anger more in resignation of his character? anyway I was free. Literally, this was the best thing I have done for myself besides TAM, IC, Group, journaling, sharing.

I offloaded the garbage to the person it belonged to.

And now I do want to move on and God has given me the key to do so. And because of X's guilt I overrode him in the decision of what is an acceptable offer on this house. The offer should be delivered shortly and my return bid, in line with the advice of my realtor and I should know soon.

I will also ask him about condo apartments and look at those. And then when I am settled, I am looking into a career change and bartending to support that.

And then I will date (maybe before all of this. I am still a very good looking woman so I have been told quite frequently. Thank you God)

And all of this came about because of my higher power whom I choose to call GOD.

Jellybeans

Well it definitely sounds like you have a plan for the future and the right attitude

Sparkles422

Yes realtor called people are having second thoughts about layout. Yes, one can plan it doesn't mean it will be happening.

Oh stuck still in this house with X. Like some kind of Japanese horror movie.


I guess that doesn't stop me from bartending and starting school.

Right?

Jellybeans

Right!!!

Sparkles422

I pulled out money from IRA and I will use that I suppose. Oh man, bad luck hounds me.

I better not get defeatist about all of this and start feeling sorry for myself. Well this has certainly taken my mind off dday.
Haha. God moves in mysterious ways.

52flower

I am impressed with your resolve and how quickly you moved on. As much as I wanted to, it took me much longer. Anyways, good for you! Are you really still sharing residence in the same house? How is that working?

Sparkles422

52flower- stuck in same house until it sells. A slice of hell, for sure.
Getting down because I thought I was going to get out of here but I need to turn it over to God because there is nothing I can do.

Go to college tomorrow to see about fast track careers.

Thank you.

Sparkles422

Already this early morning he is on cell with EA.
This is torture being in the same house with a cheater. It is so hard to move passed it.

Now all of the momentum I had yesterday is gone because of the anger and hurt and the prospect's second thoughts of buying this place.

I am tired of this situation and wonder what this hellish lesson is.

Somebody told me I am getting a crash course in faith. Guess they may have hit the nail on the head. It is a torturous one.

Any words of advice?

Shelly29

Why can't he move out and find a rental and pay you alamony to cover his share of the mortgage? That what I had m ex do.... he was in the same house as me for almost 2 months....if I hadn't kicked him out he would have stayed as long as he wanted even though he effed up.

Like you said, things work out in mysterious ways but they are the paths that art intended for you though you many not know it or understand it now.

Sparkles422

shelly: x states he doesn't have enough money. No he paid half and I paid half for this house and so that's the way it is. But realtor called and said deal not dead yet.

But I did do something pretty funny this am: he's telling me that he is going out on cycle to beach and I respond by saying: I'm going out to get laid. His head whipped round and I could see that he didn't know whether he misunderstood but he wouldn't ask me to repeat it, that's for sure.

Anyway, a small satisfaction and it empowered me. Why should I mope around, I am good looking, slim, smart, kind, generous younger than x by 11 years! I suddenly feel a little ridiculous.
God was good to me and I am wasting it at this point. I am not gonna do that anymore. I am not gonna go and start picking up guys but if the opportunity presents itself.....mmmmm
Life has not stopped.

troy

Hang in there Sparkles, the divorce is over and now you just have to let time take care of the rest. Hopefully the house will send soon so you dont have to see his face anymore.

As you know I am in an in house separation and its hell. So actually, I am seriously considering filing for divorce. You did it so can I. Take care... the best is yet to come...

Jellybeans

Oh gosh - my heart goes out to you--living in the same house post-divorce while he chats up his EA person.

Well, ya know what: dont pay attention to him. I will cross my fingers that your house sells soon for you.




Omg best laugh of the day! Well it's good that even during this somber time you have your sense of humor. He probably did a "WTF" head spin.

I love it!!!