Not sure if this is the right spot...
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Life After Divorce » Not sure if this is the right spot...

Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 08-23-2011, 08:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Not sure if this is the right spot...

But i am in some SERIOUS need of some support/advice/words of encouragement/ ANYTHING at this point.

Long story short (trust me it is VERY long). When i was pregnant with my 2nd child. My at the time husband was about to deploy. So he brought me and my oldest child to live with my parents for the year 10 hours away from where we lived. Come to find out he had an affair. He brought the chick into my home, my bed. My whole world pretty much SHATTERED from there. We ended up getting a divorce. I have physical custody of the girls. He is SUPPOSED to be able to take them on certain holidays for about a week or so. HOWEVER, he has NEVER met my youngest child who is now 14 months old. My 3 year old hasnt seen him since May of 2010. So we agreed for him to meet and get to know them before he takes them. But he has NOT acted on that WHATSOEVER. He always had an excuse that he cant afford it. Yet he trades his truck in for a more expensive one and buys a motorcycle and all sorts of things. We have been talking as "friends" and i wont lie we "flirtted" quit a bit. And yes he is still with that girl. Well anywho we have talked and he is supposed to be coming to visit soon. So last week i asked him when. He told me he took the 29th-15th off for leave. So i asked him when hes coming and for how long. He responds with 4 days... You never met your 14 month old, take 2 weeks leave and only stay for 4 days ?? Money isnt the issue this time since i offored my place/living room floor for him to sleep on. He claims hes got "work stuff" to do. But thats what leave was for ? To get away from work stuff ? Well anyways last night i found out they got Married yesterday. Today would have been our 4 year anniv. They got married the day before we did. And it just hurts. I dont want him. In fact i HATE him. But it still hurts like hell. The crap he put me through in the past year and half just burnt me. How do i get passed this ? Am i wrong to file for full custody of the children ? Since he seem to have no interest in them ? I asked my lawyer a cpl months ago about it and she said that since he hasnt missed any time with them from jan (when the papers were signed) that they cant do anything as of now. But if he still hasnt in a year or so that i can file and will most likely get it .... What do you think ? HELP ME PLEASE !!!!!
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Old 08-23-2011, 09:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not sure if this is the right spot...

File for custody and write him out of your life. The girls don't need to be around a jerk like that either. He won't be consistent in their lives so why disappoint them?
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Old 08-24-2011, 12:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not sure if this is the right spot...

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File for custody and write him out of your life. The girls don't need to be around a jerk like that either. He won't be consistent in their lives so why disappoint them?

I am in complete agreement. You can do better than this. File your paperwork and stop treating him as a friend. You are much better off starting fresh.
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not sure if this is the right spot...

You know my opinion and thoughts on this girl. You deserve better and you need to let him make the effort to talk to the girls.. or not talk to them. It will prove in court and you can show that he hasnt made the effort by phone records. Maybe even if you stop contacting him he just may forget or just not get enough time to call you...
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Not sure if this is the right spot...

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You know my opinion and thoughts on this girl. You deserve better and you need to let him make the effort to talk to the girls.. or not talk to them. It will prove in court and you can show that he hasnt made the effort by phone records. Maybe even if you stop contacting him he just may forget or just not get enough time to call you...
I know, And i hope thats what will happen. And from here on out i will mark on the calendar the exact days and times he contacts me about the girls. To show how much concern he does NOT have. I will also mark on the calendar when he comes and when he actually sees them. Ugh this whole thing just SUCKS. And it hurts still. But i dont want him. Just everything that happen. It keeps coming back !
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