Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #46 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 05:43 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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I stay at home now. Most times we both worked.

He stayed at home once for about 3 years. I made so little money it was downright scary.

But it I had made adequate money, it would have been fine.

I kind of like the idea of letting him stay home and spoiling him that way.

I personally think that if you both love each other and there's enough for you not to be "homeless and hungry", it's okay. I'm not really financially ambitious, obviously.

I do think that people of roughly the same incomes should pair up. I can totally understand a wealthy person not wanting to get taken to the cleaners; or marrying someone not at their level.
I think I would get a great deal of satisfaction falling in love with someone that didn't have much and making their life better by providing a nice home and holidays, etc. for them/us. My hope would be that they were also in love with me and not using me for things.

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post #47 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:11 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Awww! I hope your wife/gf. appreciates your generous nature.

It's a great thing to have; you just have to be careful whom you share it with.
That is my point. You need to be careful who you end up with. It is about their character. Not about how much money they make.

Who would you trust more, someone that earns say $50,000 a year or someone that earns $150,000 a year?

Seems like a dumb question to me. What they make has nothing to do with how trust worthy they are.

I think the people that are concerned about how much their partner makes are the kind of people that want some of it. It isn't about protecting themselves. They should protect themselves whether they end up with a rich person or a poor person. Either one could take advantage of them.
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post #48 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:12 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Wouldn't you protect your assets whether you date a rich person or a poor person. What does it matter?
As I said in my earlier post this was not a concern when simply dating the difference was that to be in a LTR then for me financial compatibility is as fundamental as sexual, moral, religious etc compatibility.

The difference in a LTR (for me) is that it is just easier to get on with life with a man of similar assets, there are no potential inequalities, I don't want to support him and his kids and I don't want to be supported. That just leaves equality which is perfect for me. This is everyone's choice surely? Regardless it has worked out over here so all good.
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post #49 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:14 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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That is my point. You need to be careful who you end up with. It is about their character. Not about how much money they make.

Who would you trust more, someone that earns say $50,000 a year or someone that earns $150,000 a year?

Seems like a dumb question to me. What they make has nothing to do with how trust worthy they are.

I think the people that are concerned about how much their partner makes are the kind of people that want some of it. It isn't about protecting themselves. They should protect themselves whether they end up with a rich person or a poor person. Either one could take advantage of them.
A gross unfounded generalisation.
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post #50 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:16 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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As I said in my earlier post this was not a concern when simply dating the difference was that to be in a LTR then for me financial compatibility is as fundamental as sexual, moral, religious etc compatibility.

The difference in a LTR (for me) is that it is just easier to get on with life with a man of similar assets, there are no potential inequalities, I don't want to support him and his kids and I don't want to be supported. That just leaves equality which is perfect for me. This is everyone's choice surely? Regardless it has worked out over here so all good.
So if you met the nicest guy, very good looking, great in bed, very honest, makes you laugh and makes you feel great about yourself you would not help support him? Why not?
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post #51 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:20 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Considerable Earning Power or CEP for short lol is around the $250k p/yr mark plus bonuses. Any other questions?
And exactly what do you bring to the table that corresponds to an income is in the top fraction of 1% of the population?

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #52 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:22 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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It would be smart to have a prenup to protect your Assets. May set up trusts for the kids. But that doesn't have anything to do with how well off my partner is. Would do that whether they were rich or poor.
Yes a prenup is the norm post divorce and then into second marriage.

I get it, you are not in this situation so it is hard to get your head around just like some of the stuff I read here but as I have never been in their shoes (thinking things like infidelity) then I don't comment as there are some things you need to experience to understand.

Here is another aspect to it all, Mr H and I are financially compatible, we have protected ourselves and our kids because as anyone post divorce knows life does not always go to plan.
Now we are free to build more assets together, equally and have lots of fun with it. As an almost 50 yr old with wealth I really don't want to be stuck with a man with no wealth, I have no intention of life stagnating, want to do lots of things such as have our country property and do extensive travel. I need an equal to do those things.

Maybe if you ever get divorced and have assets to protect you could come back and tell us if you think this is all so silly.
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post #53 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:26 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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And exactly what do you bring to the table that corresponds to an income is in the top fraction of 1% of the population?
As you asked so nicely, a high end 7 figure asset base that generates enough income that I can spend my time volunteering and working 2 days a week through choice. I also work from home trading equities and can generate a months wages in a week when I am disciplined enough. Any other questions?

ETA my wealth is Nett, not one cent of debt, own all my properties, car etc outright.
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post #54 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:30 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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So if you met the nicest guy, very good looking, great in bed, very honest, makes you laugh and makes you feel great about yourself you would not help support him? Why not?
I am happy to answer questions as long as they are in the spirit of healthy discussion. I get it that my life is not the norm, never has been.

The honest answer is NO, I would not support a man at this stage of my life, not financially anyway.
I support my partner in many ways, cook for him, wash and iron his shirts, cater to his needs as much as possible as long as my kids needs have been met. We have a rocking sex life and are a true partnership. He is honest, good looking and makes me laugh so hard that I almost wet myself.

I have lived through enough to know now what I want and what I will not settle for. If that is a problem for anyone then it is their problem, not mine.
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post #55 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:31 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Yes a prenup is the norm post divorce and then into second marriage.

I get it, you are not in this situation so it is hard to get your head around just like some of the stuff I read here but as I have never been in their shoes (thinking things like infidelity) then I don't comment as there are some things you need to experience to understand.

Here is another aspect to it all, Mr H and I are financially compatible, we have protected ourselves and our kids because as anyone post divorce knows life does not always go to plan.
Now we are free to build more assets together, equally and have lots of fun with it. As an almost 50 yr old with wealth I really don't want to be stuck with a man with no wealth, I have no intention of life stagnating, want to do lots of things such as have our country property and do extensive travel. I need an equal to do those things.
So people that aren't wealthy have stagnated lives?

People that don't have a country property or do extensive travel aren't happy?

They aren't your equal?

I have a vacation property. I travel a fair amount. Have a large income. People with these things aren't automatically happy.

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post #56 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 06:48 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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So people that aren't wealthy have stagnated lives?

People that don't have a country property or do extensive travel aren't happy?

They aren't your equal?

I have a vacation property. I travel a fair amount. Have a large income. People with these things aren't automatically happy.
You are projecting too much into my words, I never said the above. I said that for me to move forward financially and do the things I choose to then it is with a man that is financially compatible. I know plenty of happy, fulfilled people of lesser wealth it is crazy to say I said the opposite.

OK bowing out now, projecting and accusations are not in the spirit of healthy discussion. Cheers
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post #57 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 07:10 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

For what it is worth, I have found that a lot of divorced women, more especially those that either came from or had divorce provide them with an opulent lifestyle, almost universally make the statement to the effect that "I really don't want some handsome, prospective romantic interest to use me as some "Sugar Mama" to support, promote, or sponsor them"; but these very same women usually have nary a problem with these same "beau's," provided that they can have unfettered access to and can readily make use this man's money!

Now as far as I'm concerned, I never have ever wanted to look at any woman's bank account or savings dossier just to see what they've got in there! I'm far more interested in what it is they've got clicking between their ears, and what they have going on inside of their heart! To me, money and wealth means absolutely "jack!"

Been there; done that ~ and I sure as hell don't ever want to go back!

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post #58 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 07:23 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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As you asked so nicely, a high end 7 figure asset base that generates enough income that I can spend my time volunteering and working 2 days a week through choice. I also work from home trading equities and can generate a months wages in a week when I am disciplined enough. Any other questions?

ETA my wealth is Nett, not one cent of debt, own all my properties, car etc outright.
Then it sounds like you are in fact the equivalent of what you are looking for, which makes your requirements reasonable.

Unfortunately many people think they deserve more than they provide, which is not reasonable.

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post #59 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 08:32 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Wouldn't you protect your assets whether you date a rich person or a poor person. What does it matter?
I said pretty much the same thing.

Protecting your assets after a divorce is fine.

But it doesn't follow that to do that, you need to find a man with a huge income. You can protect your assets against someone with whatever income.

The reason to want to seek someone with a huge income is because you want some of what they own/have.

My earlier post was simply that fact. Personally, I don't want or need someone else's money. I have my own and am not interested in being a financial dependent.
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post #60 of 121 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 08:33 PM
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Re: Men: Financial Limitations During New Single Life

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Then it sounds like you are in fact the equivalent of what you are looking for, which makes your requirements reasonable.

Unfortunately many people think they deserve more than they provide, which is not reasonable.
Yes and TBH I have no problem with it all, if others do then that is theirs to wallow in. My ex and I started out financial equals as well albeit much less to ours names. While we were not compatible sexually we were compatible in other areas and as a team worked very hard to build our portfolio, I mean hard physical work doing reno's and flicking them, we made fantastic money doing this. While our friends were living it up in luxury and in massive debt we lived very modestly and built our wealth.
We split our assets 50/50 and are both OK post divorce.

Many do think they deserve more than they provide, I never subscribed to that way of thinking which is why bottom line, I would not partner with a wealthy man if I wasn't and I would not enter into a serious relationship with a man that is not my financial equal.

Really cannot see the problem here, surely after divorce people should be able to be honest about their wants/needs in a partner. I still put sexual and financial compatibility at the top of my list, no emotion involved in this, it is a head decision not a heart one.
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