[in regard to posting on a dating profile that I make a lot of money]That sounds a little creepy/scary, unless you did it in a subtle way.
Why creepy/scary? I put it right out there, in a joking way, referring to my chosen profession and stating "yes I make a lot of money but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll share it with you". I've been told that by doing that I'm attracting the money grubbers but so what, I got a lot of first dates and like I said if that's their only motive they'll be sorely disappointed and that doesn't mean I won't have some fun with her along the way if you know what I mean.
That's the thing for me - three times, I would take a woman on a rather expensive date - $100/person dinners (in 1999!)...and I learned that my simple approach to things lead me to consider most of those dinners rather pretentious...and all three women were, for my tastes, too invested in the idea that life cannot be enjoyed without spending a lot. Sort of the opposite of the naturally abundant life I prefer.
When I was dating post divorce, in between relationships that varied from months or years, I'd do a LOT of dating. Dozens upon dozens of first dates, only a fraction of which ever turned into something. At first I'd pay for a rather expensive first date dinner, then I finally got smart and the first dates were more like meetups at a diner or coffee shop or a drink at a local pub. Rather than expecting it to be great and being disappointed when it wasn't, my attitude became "expect it to be bad and be surprisingly delighted when things were good and she actually looked and acted just like her profile indicated she would".
I gotta ask - how long ago, how old were you, and just what kind of initial emails would they send to you? And what kinds of first-date activities did they expect?
I started dating post divorce at the end of 2006 in my early 40s, and have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and this one looks to go the distance. None expected anything on the first date other than good old "getting to know you" conversation but believe it or not, I never got one objection when I used to offer a fancy dinner for the first date and if we ordered a few drinks and maybe some apps and the check was a few bucks I found myself surprised when someone would offer to pay her half- it was extremely rare.
There was a cute redhead I dated for 2 weeks, good chemistry, things were going well but during those 2 weeks we went out for dinner a half dozen times and not once did she offer to pay. Finally I said "how about you picking up the tab next time?". She said "I don't do that, I'm an old fashioned gal". Obviously she had responded to the financial part of my profile, although I won't deny that my good looks and charming wit and personality must have been in the mix to a lesser extent but I digress. When she said that, I knew it was one of the last things I'd ever listen to from her. Didn't even stick around long enough to get sex out of her.
I don't recall anything special about the messages they'd send me although I do recall thinking how strange it was that of the half dozen or so that led to a longer term thing, they had almost always been the ones to make first contact (including my girlfriend). I guess they were a better "profile picker" than I was.
I went back into my folder and found the first message I got from my gf.
It starts out like this.."Your profile is amusing. FYI I passed all your checkpoints..". Then she gave me a brief one paragraph bio about herself and some of her interests that aligned with some of the ones I put on my profile. We sometimes talk about how odd it was that we didn't speak even once on the phone prior to meeting in person.